No one wanted to met for our 20th but I wanted to use a line from the song by Nickleback "Look at this photograph, man it really takes me bad, how did my eyes get so red, what the heck is on Joey's head..." I grew-up in a small town and so the song really hits home. I found my Senior pictures recently and my 6year old told me I look better with my long 80's hair! My 17 year old said my hair is the reason there is no ozone layer!
I just posted this on my classmates.com site. Our 30th reunion is coming up...thought it might instill some thoughts and discussion here.
Question: Will you try to down play the importance of High School to your children--or were you the star who thinks that time was the best?
Summer Update (or my blog if you can stand reading it):
I was sitting here last night with our yearbook and a couple of the boys. We were strolling through the pages playing "can you find mommy" and luckily for the most part they could still pick me out (honestly I can't believe I felt fat back then when I look at my midlife self--sigh). I reread so many of the notes that say "stay in touch"; smile when I see the photos of girls where they signed over their faces in an attempt to hide what they felt was an excrutiatingly bad photo, and try to remember whatever discourse provoked those that wrote "we've had our good times and our bad".
Some of the faces are clear in my mind and have remained friends over the years; but of course with all the many travels we've all undertaken it has been hard to see through it with as many intact friendships as I'd wish I'd maintained. I have stayed in pretty constant touch with Emily (who's 3 pages of "remember this" statements do nothing now to provoke the incidents that were so important for us to remember, Debbie (who flew out to my promotion to Lieutenant Colonel in Kansas and reminded me of the Friday we sat in my mom's kitchen trying to decide if eating meat on Friday really was a sin (or was it PB&J), Mary K whose friendship I cherish on both a personal, parenting and intellectual level--even though we don't speak or email often enough. At one point Emily and her hubby and Mary and her hubby were at my house here in VA. Another couple (from the Swedish Embassy) were in as well. Mary's husband and my friend Bengt began discussing their recent visits to the Congo whilst my husband and Emily and spouse discussed the Hamas, Zionism and their shared heritage I thought to myself..."is there a conversation like this happening anywhere else in Stafford? "
Then there are my friends Laurie B. (who I've known since first grade--first grade--I still felt fat even in first grade) and Jeannie who shares war stories from her time in the Navy with me. When we chat it is as if we were still still sitting in Blumhof's classroom doing ANYTHING to keep from listening (to Mr. B's credit-I still enjoy classic black and white movies because of him). We can go without talking for years and then chat for an hour as if we'd just left homeroom.
So much back then seemed so important and I'm sure created the basis for my future--but as I look forward I hope I can instill how relatively small the importance of those days (not counting the lifelong friendships) are in comparison to the magnitude of life to my boys. I hope I can help them understand that despite the hand wringing, and seemily endless expectations to be this way or be that...nothing is worth compromising yourself.
Over the past 30 years I've seen some amazing things. I've held a mother as we watched her daughter die; I've comforted a young sergeant in my arms who had broken both hands in a training accident and despite his training and incredible courage, wept as I comforted him as a mother would any child; I've watched and heard the sirens and explosions as incoming scuds searched for my unit's position in Saudi and watched the Pentagon burn, with my husband inside.
So now when I think of the angst I felt in high school over curly bangs, drill team corsages, or words spoken too harshly-while I value the friends I've had, I spent way too much time worrying about my popularity, my weight and consumed by my grade point average. I wonder if I can help the boys chill out about the conflicts of High School -- or maybe I shouldn't. Maybe the exact reason we experience those days is so we can face what comes and realize those days in High School were the easy ones. Those were the days when bells meant freedom, grades were easy paychecks, and summers meant 2 months of free time. Two months of nothingness but being. I know you can't go back; and frankly I wouldn't want to...but it sure does feel good to look back through that book, recognize who I was and look forward toward the coming tomorrows.
mykids, if she is such an expert on grilled chicken, maybe she can cook it the next time! That's what I remind my children with anytime they complain about the menu: next time you can cook OR if you don't like it, no one is forcing you to eat it, you could just go to your room and starve if you'd like.
So far, mine aren't into any of the music groups to that point---I'm enjoying the moment.
My 11 year old has decided he is like Bob Hope 24/7 and we should all love the humor! UGH! He's also to the point his physical "comedy" is hurting the 6 and 8 year olds! My 17 year old is more like your 11 yr old, Luv, did I mention the critical side too? SHe had the nerve to come down to dinner and let me know that if I had grilled the chicken 10 more minutes that the BBQ sauce would have been better carmelized and tasted better. What? Dad reminded her that 10 more minutes would have prevented him from taking her to see her friends at the park....hhhmmm. See friends or carmelized chicken.....
OH if I have to hear about Stone Temple Pilots ONE MORE TIME, I will take drastic measures! They were in Denver on July 2nd and the eldest could go. I'm still hearing about it...now she wants me to take her to this particular store 50 miles away to buy a $15 t-shirt..... we'll see. heeehhheee
Believe me d, that's not the only time they argue, it's just the most irritating time. When summer first started they kept calling me at work, then one day they got me when I was swamped and I let them have it. They only call with really important stuff now.
We haven't done much this summer either. The kids and I used to head out for an adventure on my Fridays off, but with gas prices, other expenses and the car issues, we haven't done much. Plus they are at the age where they prefer to be with their friends.
My 12 yr old son has an attitude of entitlement-I grace you with my prescence, therefore you should give me money and let me lie around like a pampered guest at a luxury hotel. He asked me where his chore money was the other day and was quite taken aback when I informed him that the money goes into his hand when I actually see him getting the work done. Of all the nerve-where do I get off expecting him to work?! He wants a new cellphone, so he is actually finishing his chore list this week. He played Scrabble with me last night too, and this morning bugged his dad about getting me a new car so I don't have to "suffer in the heat", so he's really sucking up.
You know CC, it just seems like everything kind of caved in at once. That's why I feel a bit overwhelmed. The car thing is the hardest, because I really just need a new one and so I'm suffering without A/C until my procrastinating husband can bring himself to part with the $$. I know what I want right down to the color and options and have passed that on to him. I'm getting pretty snarly about it and the 90+ temps these next few days are only going to make it worse. If he wants to live much longer, he'll get moving.
You know, I didn't use any of my statistics and algebra until I got my current job. Now I use it almost daily. It did take some review and some brain strain to get it back, and Excel is a wonderful help. The most interesting use of all that knowledge came this past spring when I helped my son with his science fair project. The charts he and I created with all the statistical data really impressed the judges and he learned a lot. He's a little sponge, so he'll remember it all.
My big concern this year will be helping my daughter with her Advanced Biology class. Pulling some of that info out of the "data banks" could be interesting. We do have a backup plan though-a nephew who will be entering medical school next year gave her his e-mail and said he was available for questions.
It will be fun for you and your son to graduate at the same time-throw a big party to celebrate!
