I was simply curious as to if you had been an officer, or involved. That if you were you would see more of what we go through and have to put up/deal with to get things done for our schools and children. Yes our principal said that she had one very controlling PTO that tried to tell her how to run the school. She saw we were not like that. It just amazes me that parents turn their children over to the schools then don't want to be involved and we have to "pull teeth" to get them to. We are trying the best we can to make everyone happy, but as others state you can't. So we do what we can, how we can, the best we can for the children. We get tired, we cry, we fuss but we still do. This is us this is what we do and will continue to do until we just can't anymore. And as for those with the ideas you like, that is what this forum is about sharing ideas with others so that we might do better at our positions. When my older 3 children (all graduated now)were younger us parents just did what had to be done, no "teeth pulling", we read what was sent home we didn't have caller id to ignore certain peopl, the cry went out, the events listed and the majority pulled together and got things done. I will admit I did fight administration several times but not about PTO. The last time was when another student tried to run over mine, and I tried to tell them what to do, PROTECT my child while he's at your school, their statment was that they couldn't protect him. From the experiences of my older children, and the way things are going in schools today I will be even more involved with these 2 younger ones. That's why with the way things are I can't understand why we don't have more parents at school, not even just for meetings or fundrasiers, but just to be their and see what is going on and how their children are treated and taught.
PTO DAD I am just glad to see a dad interested. We have only 1 dad who is involved in the pTO and I think we burned him out last year. Too bad that their always seems to be gosip in the PTA, we are all guilty of it. I am the president this year and hope to run open, easy to attend meetings! [img]tongue.gif[/img]
PTO Dad, sounds to me like you are doing some type of research project! Or maybe trying to come up with a solution to a situation that is not just an observation but closer to a big problem in your school. After being involved in the PTO for a number of years, I have come to the conclusion that some people will do most of the work and some people will not. Simple as that. If you choose to volunteer, thats what you do. We have to remember, though that even if only 5-10 parents show up for meetings (like ours), if those parents are still bringing their kids to family nights, supporting fundraisers, working lunches, etc. they are indeed involved in the PTO and play a huge part in its success. We have come to the conclusion that not everyone can or even wants to attend a meeting so our board has just decided to "get over it". Our principal came on board last year and was sort of hyped up about increasing attendance at our meetings and one year later, realized this was unfortunately just not going to happen. You can always hope that with a new flock of kindergarten parents, more will attend...
As for the "stigma" of being a PTO officer and shunning parents, that is something our board is trying very hard to change. Our outgoing president (served many years,)unfortunately was reluctant to allow anyone chair any event or program without her overseeing and sometimes overuling any decision. Plans would be made, she would change them. Praise was given she and only she would take it. Money was requested, she would promise it. This offended many parents, PTO board members, teachers and thus the PTO got a "reputation". Myself and the other board members have made a point to casually tell parents we are not controlling. This is OUR school. We the parents support it. We feel in the issue of fairness and to avoid any control issues, we will present things more openly, invite everyone to voice thier concerns and follow our bylaws. As for the unhealthy atmosphere created when people conflict, that's just the way things are. Nobody's perfect. We can all try to be the bigger person and not get caught up in the gossip traps and the power struggles. We are all in this for the children and sometimes it helps to look at things through thier eyes. Remember the most important rule you learned on the playground? Play nice or someone's going to get hurt. I think most PTO's should this playground rule right at the top of their agenda.
Thanks to all for your replies. They are all interesting and make good points.
chic*mom and PTOmomof5 why do you wonder if I am involved in the PTO? I am not sure what bearing this might have. I will admit that I have never been an officer of our PTO. That is one reason why I have asked for input from Presidents (or any other officers for that matter).
I must apologize for the misunderstanding on the "agenda" issue. I must not have worded it clearly. I did not mean a "meeting" agenda. I meant someone that comes to the office determined to do things their way and decide the direction of the PTO and what may or may not be brought to the PTO's attention. This clearly is not the case with those of you who have replied but this is something that does occur in other organizations.
SkoolMom, ptsoparent, and Momski have presented some fine, innovative approaches to this issue. Thank you for sharing. I love all three ideas.
I do not have the time (sound familiar?) to completley address the replies at this posting but I intend to do another posting. I do want to share a real life occurence that just happened to me last month. This kind of explains where I'm coming from.
I was talking to a mom who was going to send her child to a new school this fall (for non-PTO reasons). We got on the subject of the PTO. She told me that it is terrible that if you say something that the "board" does not like that they will "shun" you. I thought it unlikely that our board would do this but that the "perception" of this being done is just as bad and destructive.
Later I was talking to an officer of our PTO board
and, at one point (with no mention of this mom), this officer said that person1,person2 and person3 were nothing but "whiners and criers". All 3 of these people were people I know and like and yes the mom was included.
The questiom becomes who is right and who is wrong? Are both wrong or are both right? This is not healthy and I wonder how these things occur.
Let me tell you I have been involved with our school's PTO going into my fourth year. First year I was secretary the past two PTO pres. now going into third year as PTO pres. Here is what I have found out in the past years....
Parents do not come to meetings. Some don't due to past being burned out. I can now see where they are coming from. Other parents just have too much going on. They both work or are single parent households. They have to help with homework, get kids to ballgame practices etc. The list goes on. I honestly think some don't come because they feel we have things under control. I know it is easier not to have to come to meetings, but are we truly getting everyone's input? I have for two years tried to have short term and long term goals set up by the PTO members. THis is like pulling teeth. I wanted a school sign where we could post meetings, ballgames etc. It was felt that this wasn't needed since we are such a rural school and we fight for everything we have. We help with the basics at our school. LIKE COPYING PAPER ETC. I am not kidding. I could go on and on on this topic. This is going to be my last year as president. I would like to see someone else take on the role. As PTO pres. I always put things to a vote at meetings also. I have open discussion etc. Honestly I try to make everyone feel like they have a voice. One thing I have learned you can not please everyone and that rings so true. No matter how fair you try to be some will still complain. The only reason we have teachers is the principal makes them come. THey all come the first meeting of the year, then take turns during the year. This works for me. I have had PTO meetings with only half of the board! No kidding. You have to remember we do it for the kids and keep on trucking.
I put this in every other PTO correspondence that goes home.
"DID YOU KNOW???? Many Companies now consider volunteering or community service as “work experience.” Put volunteerism to work on your resume. Since the whole goal of a resume is to get you an interview, think how more interesting your face-to-face conversation will be when you add all those community activities to show who you really are."
It brought a few stay-at-home Moms out of the woodwork on this one!
