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Where are the Parents??

22 years 3 months ago #107248 by TheMetzyMom
Replied by TheMetzyMom on topic RE: Where are the Parents??
One of the things I really dislike is when people say "It's our PTO, we should have a say", but those people don't regularly attend meetings. No one can come to one meeting, halfway through the year and expect the same 'courtesies' (not the word I'm looking for, but for lack of a better word) that are being extended to the regular attendees. And I'm not talking about new parents who came in halfway through the year, I'm talking about parents who have had children at the school for at least a year. To those of you who say this isn't fair, I say (in my best Joan Rivers voice) Oh Grow Up! It is a simple truth, fair or not. I increased membership. I made sure all committments were met. I worked a minimum of 6 hours a day, every day at the school as a PTO volunteer. I never took the credit, passing it to even those parents who were supposed to do something and didn't. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, had access to me and to the other officers as well. Every note that went home from PTO had my personal home phone number on it, as well as the various Committee Chair phone numbers. I created an email address for those who might be to shy (or whatever) to phone or come talk in person. I sent notes home by the hundreds. The admin office even complimented me on the fact that people were less confused about PTO events and the like. The communication was there. It was available if you wanted it. I have to agree with one of the posts that maybe parents don't attend because everything runs so smoothly. Except for the notes sent home begging them to come to a meeting, come to an event, come help out, come get excited and pro-active in your child's education. The facts are that you have to figure out what works for your school. It may be someone like me who oversees everything. It may be someone who is very soft spoken and doesn't have to do any thing more than run the meeting. It may be someone inbetween the two. But the fact is, Dad, that most officers do listen. Those who don't would listen if someone would speak up. We would listen if people would come to the meetings. If they would call us. If they would email us. If...if...if... Short of going into their homes, I can't think of any one thing that works for everyone. Please be sure to include that in your research paper. It isn't researching what worked for others that works, it is getting to know the parents and community in your area and figuring out what works for them.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but it just rubs me soooo the wrong way when someone says "why aren't you listening" or "has anyone asked the parents why they don't attend" or some other such silly question. The answer is a very painful "Yes, of course we've listened, yes we're listening, yes, we've questionaired, yes, we've...". Oh, and maybe "This ain't my first rodeo"... lol...

As for private agendas, all I will say is this: Yes, some officers do have private agendas, be it the title, the glory (I'm still trying to figure out what glory everyone is talking about...lol), financial gain, whatever. But most do not have 'agendas', unless by agenda, you mean on track to do what is best for the children, the staff and the school. Then yes, by all means, most of us do have agendas. And at the top of most of those agendas, is guess what? How to get more people to attend meetings and events...lol. Vicious cycle ain't it?

I think, on a different level, it may be something closer to some people just aren't volunteers. The majority of people aren't. They are uncomfortable, perhaps, with small children, or maybe intimidated by teachers and staff, or even by seasoned volunteers. They may have tempers and know better than to lose it at a school. Maybe men think PTO/PTA is women's work. Who knows? I doubt that we will ever know exactly why one person volunteers heavily and another doesn't volunteer at all. The only thing we can know, is that those of us who can, should. We should be encouraging to those who are not comfortable doing what we do. How about a prize for each regular attending member who brings someone new to each meeting? Maybe the answer lies in showing new people, literally, how easy it is to be a volunteer (or would be if everyone helped out...lol). I don't know what your answer will be. I set out from the first moment I was elected to increase the numbers. I did it with humor, correspondence, grace and an enormous amount of work. All you can do is keep plugging until you find what works for your and your area, and know this: It Is Worth It!

Good Luck! Oh, and again, sorry to be so harsh. I think it is just my nature, especially when there is no way to know how it would sound if I spoke it, which is a lot softer than this post sounds... if you know what I mean... lol...

[ 07-29-2002: Message edited by: TheMetzyMom ]</p>
22 years 3 months ago #107247 by kwtorres
Replied by kwtorres on topic RE: Where are the Parents??
Why is there poor attendance at PTO/PTA meetings?

After many years of serving in volunteer orgns I feel it is based on whether the person attending feels they get something out of it. Unfortunately, not everyone wants the same thing. Some want entertainment, most want it brief and others want to get involved in discussions - so they have a say.

At our school we have a solid core group of parents who attend. This is what we have to work with and it works well, because they want to be there. Others contribute in numerous other ways without ever attending a meeting. I feel the challenge for PTO leadership is to put it all together. It's like a spiderweb of activity with great strength from the unity.

Communication and accessiblity are big issues for me. I firmly believe in including everyone - which means giving them a chance to participate and influence decision-making. My experience is that very few take advantage of it, but it prevents others from thinking they've been excluded. We advertise all meetings, whether it be to create a budget, develop a project, or decide on a fund raiser. Then the two or three people who actually attend make the decisions, and present it for approval.

Most people will support decisions if they have a chance to object and understand why the decision was made. I feel, as Prez., it's important to allow discussions to take place at meetings to address whatever issues members have. If it's a burning topic, then we need to address it, and the membership will let us know whether to do something about it or whether it's not important to them. As a certified Mediator, I allow the group to listen to different view points, then make the decision. So far, this has worked well.

The downside is, this takes time. But it needs to take place, in an open forum, and parents won't show up for outside meetings to better delve into a topic. The group will let you know, and vote on when to close a topic (you have to ask them). We are putting a topic discussion limit of 6 minutes in our by laws, which can always be extended by vote when the time is up. This avoids the perception of an elite group making the decisions.

Surveys are a valuable tool for me. I find people like them for the perception we are asking opinions, but the reality is that few responses are received. If there is a problem, people let you know. When you don't hear back, most are happy with the way things are going.

I also emphasize at every meeting that we receive lots of wonderful ideas. Unfortunately, manpower is limited. So if a person really cares enough about something to want to see if happen, then they need to make the commitment to see it through. That's where a person having an "agenda" is a positive thing. They have their project they want to make a reality and will be persistent in making it happen. Some members have told me that's a very polite way of say "put up or shut up," and is effective in stopping crticism from those who don't intend to do any work.

Volunteering should be positive and rewarding to get people to come back. As leaders, I believe our job is to keep things positive, flexible and to show appreciation. Most parents are there for the right reasons, and if you can keep those parents involved, they will weed out the ones that aren't fitting into that culture.

Sounds optomistic (from a "realistic" person) but I believethat's what we strive for. Stay above the pettiness and pessimism.
22 years 3 months ago #107246 by MarylandMom
HI...I'm new here; I've been following this and other threads with great interest and finally feel comfortable replying openly.

PTO_DaD_MI ...I am curious to know more about your individual situation...In my county, numbers (both enrollment and $$) are falling also and we have been engaged in a 35 year battle not to have our schools closed and consolidated for a number of reasons.

Perception of the school system has played a major roll in the decline of enrollment in that parents are removing their children from our schools and young families are not moving into the county because they feel our schools are not performing well, are not improving, and are riddled with disciplinary problems. This has led to a decline in our economy as well. Thus we are now embarking on a huge PR campaign for our schools to change the ill perception many wrongfully have of our rural area, but our county is terribly divided and getting "across the board" involvement is tough.

Our problem is not always getting parents involved because when controversy arises, they come out of the woodwork to decry the School Board's (or other acting entity's) decisions... and things have been known to get nasty. Our biggest problem is getting them involved when there is no controversy... protect the schools during "peacetime", instead of waiting for the presence of imminent threats.

So we are not just battling the image of a cliquish PTA, but that of a struggling school system and poor county run by the "Good Ole Boy" system (see my thread on Dads, Single Parents and Working Families). Folks don't think anything will change, no matter how much they get involved, and that is a tough obstacle to overcome. :confused:
22 years 3 months ago #107245 by PTO_DaD_MI
Replied by PTO_DaD_MI on topic RE: Where are the Parents??
luvmikids, you have very clear vision. I am doing research to, hopefully, apply to several problems at my school.

My school has somewhat less than 200 children. We probably average 25-35 parents at each meeting. This attendance appears to be well above most of you that are here. So what am I doing in this discussion? Our parents are leaving the school. "Where are the parents??" has special meaning to me. I am concerned our school might close.

The philosophy of not measuring the PTO success by the number of parents attending meetings applies to this as well. Just reversed a little.
I have rattled some cages over this lowering attendance elsewhere - now it's PTO's turn. Every organization in our school needs to be involved in this issue. I feel there are definite problems at our PTO and they can be related back to the PTO leadership.

Many will say the current president is great. Why?
Because the attendance at the meetings is higher than ever. I have heard this said but I do not know if it is true. But one things does appear to be true is that many like these meetings because they are done within the stated time limit of one hour.

This is something that may help attendance at your PTO meetings. Keep the meetings short and focused. The manner in which this president shortened the meetings, at our school, is one of the issues I have. I won't get into it at this point. It might be helpful if readers could contribute ideas on how to do this.

Another way to help is to recruit the children to get their parents to go. Give some kind of prize to each child who has a parent attending a meeting. If it is something the kids want then they will be nagging their parents to go. Get the principal to help on this. Award extra recess or a day to attend school without a uniform. Get the kids hot pizza for lunch - they love it. This is another area that readers could supply many useful ideas.

I hope these couple of ideas can help
22 years 3 months ago #107244 by chic*mom
Replied by chic*mom on topic RE: Where are the Parents??
"The Philosophy of measuring success by how many parents connect with your school, NOT how many attend the meetings" Is a great point!!!

To often PTA Leaders get caught up in the numbers and the meetings, I am totally guilty of this! Wouldn't it be great if the PTA was seen as a open way to connect with your school. Maybe the idea of belonging and attending scares people, they want to help, they want to get to know their child's school teacher, principal, & staff, but do not want to commit to long meetings, gosip and the whole "image" that comes with belonging to the PTA. It is important that we as PTA leaders give parents who can not commit to attending meetings a chance to get involved in some way!
I like the idea of the Parent Volunteer surveys. (we are in the process of re-vamping ours) A good thing to ask might be "Do you have a talent you could share with the students?" A few years ago (before my time) the PTA asked this and had a father say he was good at woodworking. He ended up teaching a afterschool woodworking class to children, and the PTA gave scholorships to those in need! This father had never set foot at the school, and might not have if not asked to share his talent!! [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img]
22 years 3 months ago #107243 by Publisher
Really interesting thread, and -- for the folks who take the time to get through the whole thing there are some quite practical ideas.

I like:

-- Including the quote about resumes and volunteer leadership in some of your recruting work. That speaks right to one of my big points -- folks volunteer (and do almost everything) on a "what's in it for me?" basis.

-- A philosophy of measuring success by how many parents connect with your school, NOT how many parents attend your meetings.

-- Surveys. I'm going to work on adding a sample to our upcoming "downloads" area, but there's two things here: 1) your basic survey asking parents what they like/don't like, want/don't want; and 2) a huge list of potential opportunities to help that includes everything from one hour of collating at home to one class talk on Career Day all the way through serving on a PTO Committee, etc. This (#2) way is a great way to get folks to give a little time/talent, and that's often the first step to even deeper connections.

All for now. I think I may have to link to this thread from the home page. Any other ideas for reaching out to under-involved parents?

Tim
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