When my mother passed away in 2002 from a stroke, my father went on this kick how family is everything and his grandchildren were his life.

Then the next year when what would have been our parents 40th anniversary, he took his current wife out on what they claimed was their "first date". We have our doubts. Anyway, everything changed. All of a sudden the two children from his 39 1/2 year marriage were not welcome in their own parents home. Locks were changed. He married within a month. No contact with his children or grandchildren for nearly three years. No phone calls on birthdays or Christmas, nothing. One family lived in the same town and the other just a short 20 miles away.

Of course, her children and grandchildren are a different story. Everything for them. One daughter moved a few hours away and they go spend weekends with her and her kids, the other daughter lives about the same distance as we (about 20 miles) and they get up early on Sunday and have breakfast with them and go to church with them. Go to her grandson's races late on Sunday nights, but can not come to his grandson's 5 o'clock football games (he is off work at noon and she at 3). Plenty of time to catch a bite to eat and a football game.

It is at the point that it isn't worth trying. The kids don't understand. To tell the truth, neither do my sister or I. If they are not at the game tomorrow night, I really am through!

everyone is differnt and handles grief differently and at different paces.

d, all I've read about this type of relationship is that it really is a positive testament to the type of marriage they had. Folks who were blessed with a great marriage are much more likely to quickly get into another relationship because they want that again.

What LUV says makes so much sense too. After a long term illness, I can imagine that the caregiver spouse has worked through much of the grief process.

When my husband's aunt passed away, my MIL was quite upset when her brother-in-law started dating not long after. Her sister had a very long battle with cancer and this man sat by her side day after day tending to her every need and watching her slowly slip away. I told my mother-in-law that he had done his mourning over all those many months as he cared for his wife, so he was at a further point in his grief process than she was. I'm sure your FIL is very lonely, and having someone to go to dinner with is a great opportunity for him to have some time when he isn't dwelling on his loss the whole time. Still hard to deal with for your husband though.

LOVE football...and the kids playing it are so cute. Little 7year old all done up in pads and mouth guards...I used to worry about them but now I'd like to dress them up like that to play in the house...ain't nothing going to hurt them....

We had folks on the road for game by 7am on Saturday and they didn't stop moving till 6pm that night. Now the kids can go to school today and say they didn't do anything when the teacher asks them about their weekend.......
Father in law is in. Very nice--he's the one who lost his wife 6 weeks back. Now he's got a woman he's having dinner with and my husband thinks it is too soon...I suspect he's right but the man just cannot live by himself. It's kind of sad to see him actually....anybody have experience with recovery relationships?
d

Aaaah, a maid, that would be like a dream come true. She...oh wait, maybe a HE would be nicer, could take over being the one who is annoyed by my family's inability to leave the pillows on the couch instead of throwing them on the floor(and then walking on them) and their annoying habit of playing with the curtains. I finally had to get rid of the elaborate curtain/scarf arrangement because they could not resist messing with them(my husband was the worst). So I put up new simple, back tab curtains this past week and they mess with them too. They've been in every position except where they are supposed to be. I'm thinking of wiring them up to shock anyone who moves them past a certain point.

On a lighter note, my son's football team had their first game this weekend and won! It was a sweet victory for them because for the past three weeks the quarterback from the other team has been telling my son and a couple of his teammates how his team was going to "slaughter" them. Following a stunning flying tackle my son got up with the receiver's shoe in his hand, glanced at it and casually tossed it down on the field. I don't usually condone that kind of "attitude", but I chuckled over that one. The other parents liked it too.