I received this a while back about Correct vs Incorrect English (hopefully- I've redone the racial and crude parts to acceptable reading- It was way cruder)
People who insist on speaking Correct English do not believe in the theory that languages change according to the societies that employ them.
Some don't believe the English language should change at all on principal and only speak Shakespearian Middle English with all the thee's and thou's and so forth.
The people who speak Correct English typically live in the U.K. since they were foolish enough to found their country on a piece of land named after the english language. This does not mean that all Brits speak Correct English. Here is an example of how some of these Brits speak:
"Damn tossers! Oi! Be careful wiv them crates! And wotcher starin' at yer damn ijit! Oh! Right! Yer say yor a journalist, eh? Well I'll show yer wot we do ter journalists..." - a non Correct English speaking Brit
So as you can see. Incorrect English is not only spoken by Americans, Canadians, Japanese, Africans, Autrailians... oh screw it! Let's just say that Brits can also speak Incorrect English. Okay? Good.
Correct English can be use for several purposes:
To look knowledgable without actually knowing anything
To be hated on the internet
To be hated in the south
To be hated anywhere
To get an A in Language Arts
To get beat up on the playground after school
To summon demons from the underworld to feed on the flesh of the living
Ignore that last one
So, as you can see. There are not many significant reasons for speaking Correct English. That is why Incorrect English is so popular.
Ebonics
"Yo yo yo Dawg! I'm a rapper which mean I'm a go out 'n make sum rap CD so dat honky teens luv me and try t'talks like me! Byatch!" - Moe Jones (Rapper)
Correct English Translation: I shall go forth and produce a rap album so that Caucasian adolescents will love me and try to talk like me.
People who speak this language: Various Teens.
Internet Speak
"Y DID U EV3N POST SOM3THNG AS STUPID AS TAHT YO??!?!!? OMG LOL I HAET U1!!1 OMG WTF LOL" - CheeseMonkey4667 (a user of the internet)
Correct English Translation: Why did you even post something so unintelligent as that, O! thou Moron? How I do pity you!
People who speak this language: Anybody on the internet, Teens.
Valley Girl
"Like, Oh my gawd! Like, Brad was all like 'I love you' and I was all like 'Gag me with a spoon!'. You know?! - Tiffany Morganson (some girl)
Correct English Translation: Brad said that he loved me and this didn't please me.
People who speak this language: Females (predominantly of American origin) up to age 25, Teens.
Redneck
"Martha! Git th' water hose! Dern Billy Bob is stuck in th' pipe agin!" - Jonathan Hicksmith (redneck)
Correct English Traslation: Billy Bob is stuck in the pipe again and we shall require a water hose to get him out, Martha.
People who speak this language: The Majority of Americans, Teens.
Didn't Take Enough English Classes
"You buy fish? Only five dollar!" - Joe Wang (Illegal Aliens)
Correct English Translation: Would you like to purchase some fishes? They cost only five dollars.
People who speak this language: Many Illegal Aliens, Teens.
Terrorists
"m' nim is Puunjab, I widg JIHAD! alalalalalalalalalah!" - Idiot Iluvmygoat (Islamic Terrorist)
Correct English Translation: Hello good sir, my name is Puunjab and I have declared holy war, or indeed, Jihad, upon your infidel bottoms! PRAISE ALLAH!
People who speak this language: Osama Bin Laden, Iraqi Terrorists, Goat Burger Vendors, Teens
and a quote to end this dissertation
"Correct English? You mean we all have to stop bathing and make sure there's lots of rain? But I don't wanna be correct English!"
~ Oscar Wilde
[ 10-14-2006, 10:59 PM: Message edited by: Shawn ]