I have been in a leadership position with the parent involvemnt groups (in all levels) at my children's schools for years. That experience has given me a pretty good idea of staffs at schools (both good and bad).
I agree with those of you that have said the secretary has a lot of power. In most cases it is true. But whether the principal thinks they can do no wrong or not- they are the principal's (and other administrators') eyes and ears for the school. They see everything and know everything that happens at the school first. Think about it. Every piece of correspondence probably crosses their desk (everything from suspensions to notices of leave requests, and birth announcements). They are truly the information conduit of the school. So you would do well to tread lightly and try to make friends as best you can.
Make sure you always ASK if you need something from the secreatry, and never ask them for anything you have to have immediately. I have found too often these people usually have about 18 balls in the air at once. and if you come in wanting something "right now" that will not make you friends. Just a little heads up to the secretary that you will be dropping something off for signature etc. or asking if it a good time for something- goes a LONG way. also do take the time to ask about their personal life. Just a little "Oh isn't that a cute picture" goes a long way as well. Don;t be fake- but too often everybody wants something and nobaody takes the time to ask about their kids or hubby or whatever.
These people will usually work with you and can really make your life easier in the long run if you just treat them like you want to be treated.The golden rule is golden for a reason.
To go back to the original problem- bringing in treats for the teachers and getting a rude response- I like the idea somebody else said- of "Killing them with kindness". Don't stop giving them treats or telling them you appreciate the staff's dedication because a few people were rude. I am sure there are others (that just weren't around when you were putting out the goodies) that truly appreciate your going to all of the trouble.
When we put something out for the staff (and we do staff appreciation every month- just a small thing)- I ALWAYS put out a sign next to it saying- "These treats lovingly provided by _____" and list our group's name. If it is just a small treat in the box of each staff member- I add a sticker with a similar message.
Branding goes a long way- and sooner or later the staff will appreciaite the fact that you and your group have gone to this much trouble for them (especially if they have ever been at a school without an active Parent group).
Keep doing the great job you are doing and I am sure everybody at the school, secretaries, teachers, and other staff will come around and appreciate your hard work and efforts on their behalf.
I've seen my share of school secretaries. Good, bad, and some where in the middle. I tend to agree that they have lots of power. It's just how they use it... Some are so obnoxious I hate to even have to call on the phone, let alone be nice to them in person, but, in general, the kindness route is the way to go, as long as your/my kid is in that building. It seems like some are on a power trip. Unfortunate.
As in the case of another person here, one has become a dear friend. Oh, am I a lucky dog!
I agree that the Principal sets the tone of the building by what he/she will allow or not allow. At our Middle School the two secretaries are generally unpleasant with everyone, unless you are part of some select group. It's a shame because instead of feeling welcomed, you are made to feel that you don't belong there.
I work for a non-profit group and we are known for our friendliness. We fully recognize that if we didn't have happy patrons, we wouldn't have a paycheck.
It's not an issue about being able to get along with people. We don't have a problem with that. It comes down to courtesy and respect. I'm going down the "Kill them with kindness routine" Take a deep breath and smile. Tomorrow is the last day before a much needed winter break. Hopefully the time off will put everyone in a better mood.
"What sort of relationship does your PTO have with teachers and staff? "
It seems to be a function of what relationship the PAST pto had with taechers and staff, and so each new board has had to 'start over'. Basicllay, if you treat peple as you wish to be treated, things work out ok. If you do things becuase you expect something in return, usaully youre diaappointed. So to answer your questin, the relationship is as good as we make it to be. There are always difficult personalities among staff and parents(just ask any teacher!!) but thats part of life, learning to get along with others and making things as good as we can fir the kids despite the bumps along the way.
our front office staff is the heart and brains of our school. they are very influential. I was told by the old pres that they don't "work" for PTO and not to add to their workload. so... I do my own copying, etc.
I'm in the school so much that if I have 10 seconds, I ask if they need anything? often they are stunned anyone would want to help. I've helped made copies, distribute mail, attach stickies, shred, alphabetize etc...
the better working relationship you have with them, the better you are off.
this doesn't mean I'm a doormat, just that one day.... they will need to come and ask YOU for money and guess what, now who holds the cards?
