"A principal can make everyone play nice or they can look the other way and let people and staff behave outrageously. "
well put. leaders should be part of the solution, and not part of the problem, even if passively.
I'm glad to see that some of you understand that the power of influence that this lady has. And yes, I agree that the principal should be the one that determines acceptable behavior. He came to the school two years ago with great ideas for change and ruffled many feathers along the way. He supports the PTO, but the old saying of "the man in charge or the woman that knows what's going on" comes into play and his support of the PTO makes us on his side in a very divided school.
As far as her having any interference with my child's education, that isn't an issue. I wear two hats in that school and I make that very clear. On days that I'm on PTO business I wear my lanyard, on days when I'm in the classroom, I sign in and get a visitor's pass. I don't ever let one mix with the other and most everyone respects that.
The mental mind games are exhausting. One positive thing that has come out of it is that the board has realized that we have a very united front line. One can't be played off the other and we are all in constant communication. Makes her crazy, makes us grin.
The bottom line in any school is that the Principal sets the tone for the way everyone behaves by allowing or not allowing certain behaviors. The staff knows what they can and cannot get away with. This is why in one school a sceretary may carry no weight and in another school she may be the queen bee. This also goes for the teaching staff as well. A principal can make everyone play nice or they can look the other way and let people and staff behave outrageously.
I'm with ademom74 on this. I'm sure it varies dramatically from school to school. But for the three with which I've been involved, my relationship with the secretary would have nowhere near the level of impact some of you are discussing.
ANYONE on the admin side of the school can have influence or be a great asset to speed things along. But there are just too many avenues of communications these days for the school secretary to be that much of a bottleneck unless the Principal is empowering her that direction.
Ok, I must be from another planet. I have never seen secretaries being the heart of a school. In our town, it's the principal that determines the culture of the school. In our district, no school secretary could ever impact the quality of a childs education. If I ever even suspected as such, I would be having a sit down with the superintendent, the principal and my child advocate lawyer.
I so admire all the fortitude that you all demonstrate every day. I would never subject myself to those kinds of abuses in my volunteer work. I look for PTO work to enrich my spirit, not drain it. My employer gives me enough headaches.
Oh, and MichinBraz, I am also that person at the general meetings who goes through the budget with a fine tooth comb, questioning every single line item and purchase. I can't tell you how many mistakes I have found.
I was out-ed by the principal last year (long story that I won't go into here) and she was able to move into office a group that is completely at her bidding. I tried to never show to them the hurt that I felt in being treated this way, but it really affected how much time I could put in at the school. I've just recently noticed a difference in the way that she treats me. I've been going the "killing 'em with kindness" route and it seems to be working.
I have always been a huge advocate for both teachers and students, but I also want to make sure that we get the best value for our PTO money so there are times when I question the things that the principal or others wanted to purchase for the school. The principal doesn't like people questioning her, so she wasn't a big fan of me. I think by continuing to be involved in the school and by continuing to treat her professionally, I've earned a little respect from her. Of course, the little treats I gave out for Christmas didn't hurt either. Believe me, it was very difficult to walk into her office and had her a little treat bag, but it made it all worth it when she hunted me down to tell me how much she appreciated it.
I'd suggest that you keep doing what you're doing. I found that when I was president, I didn't hear much about what the teachers thought about PTO, but now that I'm not on the board, teachers come and tell me all the time how much they appreciated all that we did for them.
As far as the secretary goes, our secretary is one of the reasons that I continue to volunteer at the school. She has become a close personal friend and has been one of the ones that has stood by me during the hard times. Secretaries are the heart of the school. They see and know everything that goes on in the school. Try to get to the root of the problem and find out what happened to make her upset with you and you'll be a step ahead of the game.
