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What is Adult Bullying?

18 years 5 months ago #115257 by <consider>
Replied by <consider> on topic RE: What is Adult Bullying?
rubbinitup, If theres not been communication or face to face, you cannot know for certain, the truth of the matter. So maybe consdider not listenting to rumor, thats all it is and nothing more. what i mean is , maybe its a mountain out of a molehill, or prariedog hill as some call it here and nothing to lose sleep over.
18 years 5 months ago #115256 by CrewChief
Thanks for the kind words <come together>! Back by popular demand:

1. Never, ever send an email message/pick up the phone/confront someone while angry. You will always regret it.

2. PTO work is, and should be, important to you. For everyone else, it's nowhere near the top of the list. Don't' take it personally.

3. Managing volunteers is like nothing else. How you say things is always more meaningful than what you say.

4. Use an objective third party whenever possible. We work in a bubble. Things often make sense to us because we know the back story. Running things by someone who is out of the loop is the best way to catch potential problems. (Unfortunately for xxxxx, he was my reviewer. He was forced to read/hear/use a lot of things he never wanted to!)

5. Always have a back up plan. Meetings won't always have a quorum, items will often not make the newsletter, volunteers will forget about or disregard commitments they've made, misunderstandings will happen.

6. At the end of the day, we are all still friends. This is a small community. Everyone knows everyone. Our kids all play together. The people on all sides of every issue think they have the best interest of the parents /kids /school /town in mind. The people are always more important than the issue. The trick is to find a win, win, win solution.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

"The ultimate aim of karate lies not in victory or defeat but in the true perfection of one's character."
18 years 5 months ago #115255 by <consider>
Replied by <consider> on topic RE: What is Adult Bullying?
You come together (OK , beatles fans!!) like crew chief outlined in her points 1-6 of another thread, of how to handle difficult PTO spots....crewchief , if youre out there, want to repost your guiedleines if theyre not yet copyrighted/published and making you millions yet???
they were awesome.
18 years 5 months ago #115254 by rubbinitup
Replied by rubbinitup on topic RE: What is Adult Bullying?
Hey I am always up for some bullying! (truly a joke) I was lurking on this thread weeks ago and found it interesting. What do you do with an adult who insists that they have been victimized by adult bullies to everyone that will listen but when given the opportunity openly discuss their situation they refuse. Now if it all quieted down that would be one thing because as we all know time can sometimes heal. But they continue to martyr themselves out to anyone who will listen. I really do love working with many different people thru school HSA I have made many friends some will become close some won't. It's all good. Part of me feels sorry for this person who can only view herself as a victim of the HSA but the other part also see's this as reverse bullying on her part because she did not get her way. It never ceases to amaze me how the person doing all the damage can look at the aftermath and say "look at what YOU have done!". We may never get this resolved.
Keeping me up at nights.
18 years 5 months ago #115253 by CrewChief
<two hats> - I had the same A Ha! moment you did when I read Tracey's post. I'm sorry if you felt like I was picking on you. And <tell the kids> does make excellent points too - it is very difficult to convey tone and mood in a post.

The thing I love so much about these boards is the way we can all come together to discuss important issues, share ideas, get emotional and passionate about them and LEARN from each other!!! Thanks for helping me learn something new today.

And, hey, it's only 7:45am..... So I guess I'm off the hook now until tomorrow!

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

"The ultimate aim of karate lies not in victory or defeat but in the true perfection of one's character."
18 years 5 months ago #115252 by <consider>
Replied by <consider> on topic RE: What is Adult Bullying?
Hey girls, I agree my post sounds bad, however that was unintended. I should have said when in fact the receiver of the message MAY be too sensitive. I agree, blanket statments do not apply to all.

I will tell you I have been accused of being a bully. Which, if you knew me, you would just laugh. I am the typical always say yes, people pleaser, don't like the fighting let's talk it out type person. But a time came when I had to make a difficult decission and not say yes and then I get the whole you are a bullying me.

So to me when I read Tracey's post it was like relief! When she said.....unless you intentionally go out to hurt someone, you are not a bully, but this will not protect you from a sensitive person, who may see your confident persona as threatening....I was like AMEN, the angels have sung.

sorry for the poor posting, I'll try to do better.

Also, this thread was specific to adult bullying. Child bullying in my opinion is a completly different thing.
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