Hello- As a researcher of bullying I found these messages interesting on the perception of what is "bullying behaviour" and reading the different takes on it highlights the problems when it come to understanding this form of social interaction, either at school kid level and that of adults.

Dan Olweus, who was the pioneer of bullying research clearly defines bullying as behaviour that is repeated over time, is negative in action or motive, this actions include intentionally inflicting or attempting to inflict injury or physical or emotional discomfort. Also bullying can be carried out both physically, e.g. hitting, kicking, spitting, pushing or verbally, name calling, tauting, rumours or exclusion from the peer group.

Also latest research shows an increase in the use of mobile phones to bully others, so text messages can also be hurtful, which shows it is the intent to hurt that is critical.

However, having said all this my own research has shown some people are particularly sensitive to any form of interaction that others may see as positive, an example of this is when you play tease with someone, one person can feel this is a way of social bonding and good fun and another person will feel totally vicimised and bullied.

I have an online questionnaire on my website for anyone interested, www.gelosweb.com and anyone wanting further information can email me directly.

So crewchief, unless you intentionally go out to hurt someone, you are not a bully, but this will not protect you from a sensitive person, who may see your confident persona as threatening.

But it is only with more research will we ever be able to finally clarify your question.

Regards, Tracey

Of course I mean shouldn't shy away [img]smile.gif[/img] ...
d

Boy--that's how I try to sell being a chairperson at the school. I mean it is terrific on a resume to be able to put for the years that you stay home that you were the leader of a 350 all volunteer organization that raised over 25 thousand dollars to enhance school operations, or that you organized and executed 15 independent events to raise moral and spirit using only a self generated manpower base. My secretary can say that she took an office void of an adminstrative system and organized and created systems, files and routine procedures for daily activity processing...you know what I mean. This is all a huge learning experience and we should shy away from taking credit for it in that sense. We work too hard at this... [img]smile.gif[/img] ....dianna

Thanks to all of you for your responses, for taking the time to think about it and post your feelings on the subject.

I'm constantly learing and growing. Sharing ideas here is such a wonderful opportunity. The lessons I've learned are helping me not only with PTO work, but life in general.

Long after my son is grown and I'm far away from volunteering at school I know I'll still be using everything I've learned.

crew chief, i read this last night and thought about it for awhile. i haven't done any reading on it. all i know is through life's experiences. I've been bullied, and i would imagine that i have been the bully at some point in my life. I personally think that if you're (in general) doing things for your personal gain and don't care who you hurt in the process, your (in general)a bully. if you're deciving, put people in a bad positions to save yourself, ignore people because you think your better than them, intimidate, or they're your "friend" when they need you, you're a bully.

People who are there for the right reasons, ones that are ambitious, people that are confident, KNOW what they're doing, can work as a team, don't look for trouble, or can try to find the good in people. That is someone that i want to be around.

I know that's very difficult to do sometimes, believe me!!! that's hard to do and still have a backbone with it.

i was in a situation two years ago when we got a new principal. my head was on the chopping block so many times. she was horrible!! she took activities away from the kids and by the time we realized it, it was to late. she would try to play us against each other, sneak, and lie. needless to say, the administration finally got rid of her. She had power and wasn't afraid to use it. that's ok sometimes if it's being used for a good thing, but if it gives you (in general) a power trip that's not good at all. that's a recipe for disaster.

see bullyonline.org for characteristics of a bully. mainly geared to workplace bullying but perhaps applicable to any group of individuals....? after all, human nature is at work in all groups, not just paid employement.

A summary i have seen about specifically middle school girl bullying (which is no different from adult female bullying) summed it up like this (note the 3 main categories of bullying are verbal, physical and relational - school girl bullies are usually relational agression in nature whereas the boys tend to be more physical) :

Relational aggression socially isolates the victim and increases the social status of the bully.It is driven by jealously, a need for attention, anger and fear of (or need for) competition. One reason women/girls choose this type of bullying....the bully typically avoids being caught or held accountable and usually involves popular, charismatic women/girls already receiving positive attention from adults. Specific acts include rumor spreading alliance building, backstabbing, ignoring, excluding from social groups and activities.

I can give you one concrete example of adult, female bullying in a PTO, and that was an organized, public meeting to talk about a parent member behind her back (aka rumor, gossip exchange) and then based on that hearsay to forcibly resign that member from the PTO and all committees(aka exclusion from groups and activities).

The movie Mean Girls is about middle school bullies, and the book by similar title Mean Girls All Grown Up is just what it sounds like its about.

Bullying can have many causes but seems, from the literature, to be tied to things such as
bitterness, hostility, anger, resentment, a need to find someone to vent inner feelings on, low self-esteem; desire to pull others down to their level, purposeful attempt to destroy or malign someone, motivated by jealousy, attempt to join the crowd for acceptance, etc.

I havent heard a post here that sounds like any author is a bully. stating ones opinion (diplomatically of course) and folowing ones conscience in an effort to do what one thinks is right for the group and the kids and the school (or the community at large etc), is NOT bullying. if you go about it ways that ignore the fundamental human rights of dignity , privacy and or respect , or with methods or ulteriour motives as outlined above or in the literature on bullying, its a whole other ballgame.