First of all, I would rent Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer for my child. I would point out the Island Of Misfit Toys (even though your gift was wonderful). Second, I would purchase a copy of Fatal Attraction and give it to the room mother, telling her that what she did was worse than what Michael Douglas and that you are now her fatal attraction... no, no, seriously though, I would wait until after the holidays so that I wasn't as mad. Then I definately would talk to her and let her know how your daughter took her poor behaviour. I would ask her to apologize to your daughter as your daughter deserves it.
The reason I posted, however, is that I kinda have a bit of concern for this person's future in the organization. I would keep a definate eye on her behaviour, especially with and around small children.
I'm so glad that you're feeling better! It is a bad experience for you and your daughter, but there is a lesson to be learned. It's a sad fact that some children are too materialistic (sp?). It's better to give than to receive, even if something is not appreciated. If it comes from the heart that's all that counts.
Thank you all for your kind responses. I feel better today. Yesterday I was sooooo angry. I actually avoided seeing the woman yesterday as I knew I was too angry to be sane about it.
Michelle B...Your advice is wonderful. I somewhat know this woman and do not believe she acted in malice, just stupidity. She is a first time class Mom, who I am certain just handled the situation in the poorest means possible. My daughter actually really likes the gift and will be happy to keep it. The poor thing just said to me..."Mommy next time make sure you buy a toy so someone will want my gift". For the rest of the day everyone kept telling her how much they liked it and asked her if they could have it. Your advice is exactly what I want to say, yesterday I was just too angry to find those words.
Library Mom...I did speak to the principal yesterday. He was mortified. He is hoping that I am the only person this happened too and said OMG thank god it was you and not some other parent who would be in my office reading me the riot act and ripping my head off right now. He said it was outrageous and that what she did was offensive. He said this is exactly why he told the teacher to inform these class Mothers "never again" as it just can create so many problems and hurt feelings for the kids. I emailed the teacher and am waiting to hear back from her. I really like this teacher and want to know if she is aware of what happened and what her take on the whole situation was.
Pearlie...Your so right about the lesson for my daughter. Last night my mother handed my daughter something (not a gift) and my daughter "said I don't want that" and tossed it back at her. I of course cringed. I said "Gee what should we expect, that is what she learned at school today. We of course spoke to her and I think she gets it now. I plan on speaking to the Mom after the break. One thing I have learned in life is to try and never react to something in anger, as that rarely solves the problem. I want to make this woman aware of how the situation should have been handled and not run her off as again, I think she acted with poor judgement and not malice.
Thanks again for all your responses! I feel much better! Have a wonderful Holiday!!!!!
I think Michelle B. offered you good advice. It sounds like this Mom needs to tactfully be informed by you that she didn't use good judgement. Fortunately, it is the lessons about gift giving that you will be able to teach and reinforce for your daughter that she will embrace in life.
After the students come back from break, your emotions and hurt will probably have subsided some and you will be able to temper your words to the Mom. As you know though, there will always be people that will never admit to any wrond doing, so don't expect her to admit that she made a bad decision (even though may my know it).
Hopefully, the principal will have told her that she is to never ask the children to buy/give gifts again. Maybe he can put a notice in your school newsletter next year that it is a policy that gift giving to students in the classrooms is not done. Worded somehow so......students don't think they're not allowed to bring the TEACHER a gift.
How sad that this happened to your daughter! I would calmly pull this woman aside the next time you see her and say something like, "I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt her feelings but my daughter was very hurt about the situation with her gift. Perhaps next time you see her you can reassure her that it was a good gift. I don't want her to think that giving a gift is supposed to lead to bad feelings but rather that it's the thought that counts and it's a joy to give."
just a gentle reminder that our children's feelings are fragile.
