...and I think I would leave it at that....let the teacher handle the room mom and you mend your daughter and happlier ever after? The time we have done bags, I kept extra coloring books and crayons "just in case" but forgive me, they were free or from the dollar store.
I was "burned" on one those grab bag jokes once! I'm a homemade gift kinda gal and spend hours on rings you put on wine glass stems to mark who's who's. Well, the host "mixed it up" and when we pick out a bag we could pick another person to swap our bag with. After (what seemed like forever) I was fighting to keep my gift I picked out...everyone kept passing mine around the room. With tears in my eyes, I took home the gift I came with as no one wanted it and honestly never spoke to the host again as she was the one that evcouraged everone to swap and not think about the package itself but "size matters ladies!". Saldly, that was only a few years ago and why I hate grab bags. Happy ending... my best friend (also was at the party) took the wine glass "jewlery" and I took her bag- the bag I had in the first place!
I just received a very apologetic email back from my daughter's teacher. She said the party was very chaotic and that while she knew there was some issue over the gift, she had no idea that it was handled that way. She assumed the class mother gave the child a dollar store extra toy along with the gift and that my daughter just kept the gift she was given. She said she will call the class Mother this week over the break as she wants to discuss the way she handled it with her. So I will wait to hear back from her and talk with the Mom when the kids go back to school.
MichelleB...You are absolutely right and this is really where the whole thing went wrong. Another mother I spoke to questioned that right away saying "since when did a grab bag get done that way and why was that child allowed to say she did not want the gift and get away with it?
This is when the class mom should have put an end to it and made a point of how wonderful the gift was and how lucky she was to have gotten it and how beautiful her hair would look because of it.
Serendipity, there is another parent that I feel needs to be informed of this situation and that is the first girl that didn't want the gift in the first place. I would be so saddened if my own son did this and would not want him to miss the lesson as well. I think you owe it to the mother of this child to, again, calmly, explain that her daughter's initial distaste for the gift, took from the experience your daughter should have had. I think this other child owes your daughter an apology as well because she too hasn't learned a good lesson from this.
xplor114...I know that kids sometimes use the wrong words to express what happened and that can give an altered perception of what went down, but in this situation my daughter could not be far off.
The gift she was to bring was for a girl. Girls were exchanging with girls and boys with boys, they were told to bring a gift the same gender as themselves. So that rules out a boy being the recipient of her gift.
She said the girl (she told me her name) who got her gift said she did not want it and then the mother asked if any of the girls wanted the gift and they all said no. so the mother gave the gift back to her and said since no one wanted it she should take it back. And my child had her gift along with the gift they gave her (which was a dollar store extra the class mothers bought for kids who did not have a gift to participate). My child also asked me to make sure I bought a toy next time so that someone would want her gift.
I am sure I will hear back from the teacher in the next few days as I want to know if she is aware of what happened and if so what her take on it was. Then I will go and talk to the mother when we return from the break.
Metzy...You make a good point about this persons future with the organization. I have thought about that already. I know her a little bit and honestly don't believe she did it with bad intentions. She is new at this and is a first time class Mom, I am willing to bet that when no one wanted my kids gift that she just did not know how to handle the situation and then chose poorly. I will know for sure when I get to speak with her. But I will keep my eye on her none the less.
I would flat out ask the mother how the "exchange" worked. Perhaps it all worked out that some little boy was supposed to get the gift your daughter brought? Perhaps the words "noone wanted it" weren't actually used. I know my children even in Kindergarten were already putting their own "spin" on things that were said to them! Discuss it in a non-confrontational way first! Let her know that your daughter "understood" her as saying....XYZ.
