Is there anyone within your group who DOES get along with her? Or is there maybe a parent whose child is a friend of her child's? Or ANYONE who has a positive relationship with this "troublemaker"? If so, perhaps you could enlist that person's help. If a friend or someone she knows and trusts could talk to her one on one, that would be a nicer and perhaps more effective way to get the message across. This trusted person could maybe say something like, "I've heard that some of the other PTO members think you are a little overbearing. Of course, I know you are really trying to help. Do you think the group would be more receptive if you were more laid back? You have good ideas, and I'd hate for them to not be properly considered." While we sometimes think people like her aren't very sensitive, my experience is that they are, and are maybe insecure. If it's possible to handle this in a low key manner, instead of being confrontational, that would be my choice. Good luck!
I just came home from a team building weekend and something like this may help. We have a few strong personalities on our board and although all of our problems weren't eliminated, we were able to start working on working together.
Perhaps you can try something like this before you take it to an extreme and see if she can recognize her own alienating behavior??
As uncomfortable as confronting someone can be--sometimes there's just no choice. I tend to not worry about the feelings of people like this--they obviously don't care about yours so.... If this woman is as awful as you say you're better off alientating her rather than letting her have so much power over everyone else.
I agree with Metzy. This person is driving members away. Don't worry about hurting her feelings-worry about getting her destructive behavior stopped. We have a person this year in our group who is very controlling. Luckily, there are some of us who are very stubborn and aren't taking her cr@p! I have had parents tell me that they don't enjoy coming to meetings because of this person. I talked with them and convinced them to come back then told the President what they said. She is working to get this person stopped.
If it were me... I'd set up a meeting between her and the officers and just lay it on the line. Be specific about event examples so that there is no question about what you are talking about and that you are talking about her. I think I would probably include the principal in the meeting as well...
Our PTO program is booming. We have a huge problem though. We have a committee member that insists everything go her way or NO WAY! She doesn't let anyone do their job even officers. We have brought this up at meetings that we must work together, but she doesn't even catch it that we are talking about her. If something doesn't go her way, she starts arguing. Our meetings are horrible. Noone wants to attend. We can't get members or officers because noone likes her. Her reputation proceeds her. We have had 3 people (2 officers and 1 committee member)quit because they can't take her bossyness and argumentative behavior. The president and other committee members are threatening to leave if we can't do something quick. Our school is praising us for our wonderful job but .... Our (6 of the seven people on the board) question is:??? can we vote her out legally? If so how? or what can we do. If she doesn't get out we will lose more officers and members.
