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PTO President being a Parent Advocate

21 years 1 month ago #69992 by Try'n Soo Hard
Replied by Try'n Soo Hard on topic RE: PTO President being a Parent Advocate
Hello all........ What a looooooooong day! Well, here goes.

I went in as a friend, separtate from any PTO, and that was actually recieved well, after about 10 minutes.

I said nothing at all during the hearing, nor did I feel that the parent was being mistreated during the hearing.

Before the hearing, the parent & I spoke and she said that her child was required to be at the hearing this morning......personally I did'nt understand that because he just came off a 4 day suspension and no has to miss another day. Any way, the 3 of us met for breakdfast to over the details of the suspension day once again, and to assist the parent with proper questions. I also reminded the parent to stay focus on what the meeting was about and her desired outcome, which was her son's record exspunged.

Well........it is very apparent that the child is behind......probobly more than 1 year (he is now in 4th grade). The parent is aware the child is behind, but due to a BAD experience in 2nd grade, she is against Special Ed and was not informed of the proper precedures and curriculm of the class her child was in....because all she kept talking about was he did not have course books be only had worksheets.....and she felt that that was holding him back, not helping him to move forward (no having course books).

The child was tested 2 years agao, but according to the district his scores are no longer valid, and the parent is refusing to have him retested at this time...she says she would consider it, but in the mean time she will seek out tutoring and the Sylvan learning center.

I along with the principal and the head of the disapline committee suggested that she adhear to a program that would help her child before he fell too far behind.

The day of suspension went like this....the principal, received a call fromone of the teachers who said she and her class were having difficulty getting started on their tests (ISAT/Terranova), because of a major disruption in the classroom next door. When the principal arrived to see what the probel was she entered the class room asking the teacher wat was going on, and the teacher pointed to 3 boys. The principal approcahed boy #1 who said he would stop talking and he was ready to take the test...she approarhed boy # 2 who said the same thing and began his test....then she approches boy #3 (the child I am specifcally speaking about) and she asks him what happened in this room and what he was doing.....he in turn said nothing...she asked again......he said nothing....the principal in turn asked the child to accompany her to office where she asked him to wright down what happend and he said he couldn't so she said to tell her what happened and she would write it down and he did.

Once the information was written the principal read it back to the child who said it was correct. The principal says she informed the child that because this was a very important test and he decided to be disobedient when the teacher asked he and his classmates to be quite, and because he was part of a group that was disruptive to more than just his class room, he was going to be suspended for 4 days. The mother was called and when she arrived she met with the principal and child,she was explained to what occured, she signed the suspension and left for the day.

The parent feels that 4 days without any prior warnings or written issues, was far too much. She does feel that a punishent was sutable, but not 4 days on the first offense.

because the child was suspended during terranova/Isat tesing he was given an opportunity to retest upon his return which was Monday and what would've been today. The parent was supposed to take the child back to school after the hearing to finish testing,but the parent went back and forth saying that the child was up late the night before therefore she thought he should go home and finish the teat on tomorrow.

The parent was instruted that the child would not have that option, thefore she agreed to take him to the school.

After the hearing the parent asked if I could take her home for a moment before we went to the schooland I did, she came back to the car and said that her son had a stomach ache therefore they would not be returning to school today. I inturn told her that she neeeded to put her ego asisde and do what is best for her son, I also told her not to wait too long before her son would be further behind than he is.

When I spoke with the parent this evening she said she was going to seeking out some tutoring options and Sylvan learning center.

Soooooo, there it is!! Any feedback?

Bare with me....it has been a very long day, I know that my spelling is horrible. Please charge it to my heart not my head!!
21 years 1 month ago #69991 by LCC
I hope things went well at the meeting, it sounds like this is heavy on your mind.

Just to weigh in, I agree that it is NOT the place of the PTO to get involved in such matters, but it IS the duty of a friend. I would also make it clear before going in to such matters that I was not a representative of the PTO in my involvement in that particular discipline hearing.

The part that does concern me though is that a teacher would pull a child out of testing. Put them in a different room where they won't bother other kids, but the child still deserves the chance to complete the testing. Also, how in the world did the kid get placed in special education program to begin with if he had not been properly evaluated????? In our district the school is required to perform a complete evaluation of a student if requested by a parent and a need is demonstrated. The child deserves to be properly evaluated to determine exactly the cause of his difficulties.
21 years 1 month ago #69990 by Try'n Soo Hard
Replied by Try'n Soo Hard on topic RE: PTO President being a Parent Advocate
Good morning to all.....Well today is the big day. Thank you all for your encouragement, support and advice. After deep meditation I have decided to support my parent as a friend and be there with her at the hearing. The hearing is schedualed for today at 10:30 CST. I will be more than happy to share some of the results.

In times like this, this is what friends are for!
21 years 1 month ago #69989 by Try'n Soo Hard
Replied by Try'n Soo Hard on topic RE: PTO President being a Parent Advocate
Okay....... First of all, I believe in supporting both parents and children. What I mean is if a parent ever comes to be regarding an issue and she is wrong or being unfair, too verbal or just dead wrong....what I try to do is help them to see other options....I work for the betterment of the child. I have 2 of my own. I am aware that it is not always about the parent being right, and more importantly I make sure the parent knows that if I am supporting them on a issue such as this it is imparative that I know the truth.

I have taken the liberty to speak with my building principal and the parent and the teacher, and this is the outcome: Last year the parent home-schooled her child, because the year prior (2nd grade) her child was place in a special educationn class, the parent felt the class was not assisting her child in being better prepared for 3rd grade, and she felt that the materials were not sufficient...more importantly she felt that he was falling behind instead of moving forward. As a result the child was excluded from events such as class parties etc.. this in turn messed with the childs self worth. The parent attempted to extend herself but was consistantly told that her help was not needed. As a result the parent decided to home school her child (3rd grade). After a year of homeschooling the parent needed to go back to work, therefore decided to place her child back into the district, but a different school (my school). During registration the parent was with the principal who wanted toplace the child back into special ed. The parent declined, and this did not sit well with the principal.

The child has not been tested in the district, by an administratpor or by a private doctor. In turn the parent feels that her child can/will be fine in now a reg. 4th grade class.

In addition, when the child was suspended, the parent was not immediately informed. There were no prior warnings, notes or attempts to help this parent or child (seeing the administrative staff apprently felt this child needed to be in a special ed class).

In my discussion with the teacher she stated that she was suprised that this weent this was. She says she didn't feel this was just, BUT she is not required to be at the hearing.....

Now you tell me......, One more thing!!! I will only be there only as a friend and concerned parent.
21 years 1 month ago #69988 by pals
I have to agree with tim....you might not know the whole situation. for example my son was suspened last year in fourth grade for talking back...the thing is he had numerous warnings that took part first. One of the hardest things my principal had to do was call and tell me...i replied is that all. She didn't realize that i had been ore warned. If this parent really feels that it's unfair then maybe she should go over the principal's head and see what happens. I know I ahve been contacted by parents about stuff way out of PTO issues and the information is often very confidental. If this isn't a closed hearing get as many as possible but to go in there alone is sending a very strong and wrong statement. It might backfire and you might find out more than you really know. with our school it would be a closed issue...and unless you were directly involved you wouldn't be allowed there.

"When you stop learning you stop growing."
21 years 1 month ago #69987 by laurib
If it is not a closed hearing, I would get on the telephone and get as many parents there as possible. Explain that some parents have been complaining about unjust discipline and that every parent needs to take a stand together. This way you are being an advocate for the children and the parents, but not jepordizing you position with the school board by being a busy body. If only 5 show up, it is better than you had to start with.
If it is a closed hearing, than it is between the parent the child and the school board. Unless you were present in the classroom when it happened, I do not believe that you should be allowed in a closed hearing.

[ 09-30-2003, 02:21 PM: Message edited by: laurib ]
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