Good for you! Too many parents want to rely on the school to step in, and when they do, it seems like to parents of the "bullies" get that "not my angel" type of attitude. We all would like to believe that our children will always make the good choices...but sometimes, kids need re-direction. And they need to learn that their actions affect others more than they think. If I was a betting person, I'd wager that your daughter won't be having any more problems with those girls. They've learned that she's not going to sit idle and allow for others to mistreat her. You've taught her well, and should be proud! I'm sure that it wasn't an easy decision for her to come to you...it's hard to tell the parents that someone is picking on you. You're raising a confident child there, and by her coming to you, it shows how comfortable she is with your relationship. Kudos!
Two thumbs up soccormomto4kids! I don't promote hitting, but if you get hit first for no reason, than you have my blessing to hit back.
I did have an incident at extended day last week. One of kids talked another kid to take some gloves and chapstick out of others bookbags and put them in my child's bookbag. Well, my daughter came home and was upset that people would think she was stealing them that I called the mother of one of the kids that did it and the next day, I got an apology from both kids and their mothers. The rest of the week was quiet so we'll see what happens when school starts back up.
So far,I have been fortunate that none of my children, nor I, have ever experienced a problem with bullies. I do, however, have several friends whose children were being bullied in school. Here's what you do...GO TO THE POLICE! File a harassment complaint against the bully. I guarantee that ESPECIALLY when the kids are in grade school, a police officer can and will scare the daylights out of the bully. I'm talking, have the police officer go to the bully's house. As for an anti-bully assembly, we have several here in Jersey, but don't think they travel to other states.
There's a ZERO tolerance policy in our district, which, as far as I'm concerned, protects the bully and really does nothing for the child that's on the recieving end. I've taught my children to stick up for themselves, and I know that it's not the politically correct thing to say...but if someone hits them, I tell my kids to hit them back. I won't allow for my children to become an easy target, and that's what our school district is producing...easy targets. It's a bully's dream come true. If I ever get a phone call from the principal telling me that one of my kids is suspended for fighting, and (s)he was defending him/herself, I'm taking her out to lunch and going shopping. Right after I go to the police.
Wow. This is a topic close to my heart. I was bullied and picked on as a kid. The school did a class assembly and it didn't help.
i know that isn't what anyone really wants to hear, but the fact of the metter was everyone knew what it was concerning and it just made everything worse. Talking to the parents when it didn't stop, helped with very few kids. Most parents just didn't want to believe it and simply ignored the issue.
A school change helped temporarily, but eventually the kids from my old school found my knew friends and just switched things around on me. When we moved states 2-3 years down the line is when it ended. I was always the same person, just popular at the new school vs. the picked on kid. Most people would never believe that I was ever picked on.
Education in any form helps. However, I think what really needs to be done to end the situation is to find out why the particular child being picked on is targeted. It might mean a good teacher/principal finding out from someone on the inside (a passive child?) why the target is being bullied. Then try and fix the situation--with the victim's parents help. I don't know.
Things are way different now than they were 25 years ago. It's taken more seriously. I know that I'm not being any help. Parents need to know why and the parents of the bully need to know what is going on. Preferably, a conference without any of the children present.
Our school has a bullying program every year. It is not sponsored by our PTO it is actually sponsored by the school. I will have to ask today who they use and get back to you. I know we also get many advertisements from assembly companies who do programs on bullying. They may be in our file cabinet, I never really look at them because the school already does a program. But I will look in there and see what we have.
As MichelleB added the bigger problem here is that this situation can continue unless the school takes action against the bullies.
I had a friend who was in a similar situation. After her son was punished and not the bully, she took matters into her own hands. She went to talk to both the principal and the Super. She told them that when her son gets picked on, that he is to go to the principal and that they expect the principal to stop the situation and put an end to the bullying. If the principal does not stop the situation and it continues then her son has her permission to beat the crap out of the kid. They new she was not playing around and the next time a problem arose they called the bully and his parents in right away and put an end to the situation.
myschel, I think you need to address one part of this first. My son was in that EXACT same position last year. It got to a point where the kids knew that they could get him to react and that they wouldn't get in trouble and he would. That policy is dangerous and needs to be addressed by your administration. Ours was of no help and my son is now at a new school. However, for a while there, he was even saying things like, "I wish I were dead" so I would worry more about his own feelings now. Then reinforce what the administration will do by putting on the program but if the administration punishes the victims and not the bullies, a program isn't going to help. There have to be consequences for their actions. (our new school is much better at this and my son is happy and thriving. My son was very impressed when, while in class suspension for something he had said, the principal sat down with him and got the FULL story. Even after the fact, the bully was punished. That made a huge impact on my son and an even bigger difference in his behavior.
