marieann;142272 wrote: I have decided to call and apologize. I took a day to think about the situation and my options. Although I know the apology will probably not be accepted I need to do it. I realize the way I handled the situation was not helpful. Now the question I have is, what do I do, with our meeting a week away, if she is still upset. I know from a previous situation she had with another board member, she will hold a grudge and make the general board meeting difficult.
Then that is her choice to do. Your responsibility is to ignore her behavior on this one topic and move on, especially if she openly challenges you in front of the group. She is trying to make you look as "small" as she is behaving so she comes out as "head queen." She starts up you simply state... "I understand your feelings. That is why I called and apologized to you earlier in the week in hopes that we could move past this for the benefit of the children and the school." Then move on without her if necessary. She may hash it out with the rest of the board but sooner or later everyone else will get tired of it and move on as well. If you don't rise to the bait that should move it along quicker.
What is it we tell our children when their sibling is bothering them.... "Ignore him/her and they will get bored and leave you alone...."
I have decided to call and apologize. I took a day to think about the situation and my options. Although I know the apology will probably not be accepted I need to do it. I realize the way I handled the situation was not helpful. Now the question I have is, what do I do, with our meeting a week away, if she is still upset. I know from a previous situation she had with another board member, she will hold a grudge and make the general board meeting difficult.
Marieann:
Personally I'd still apologize. If for no other reason than you know it is the right thing to do and there's really nothing else you can do at this point. Maybe a note would be easier than a call -- or face to face meeting. One thing about PTOs is the people that work them really are passionate people. We are directly impacting the most important people in our lives...our children. And if that isn't something to bring out the best and the worst in us I don't know what is. So saying your sorry will also allow you to feel like you've done something to mitigate your earlier words of anger. I also wouldn't allow her presence to keep me from continuing to serve my child's school on the board. I bring too many good to things to the group and to my child's elementary school experience. However, maybe it's just time for a coffee break for the entire board and talk about what you've been able to do together, vice the bumps in the road.
SL--I've also played a couple of leadership roles in my day and your characterization of the "good ones" is spot on. It takes a pretty strong leader to do as you've outlined, and one of the things about not being in charge is dealing with folks that may not have the same strengths you do. While the approach you take with your homeowners is certainly the best and most above board, it is a gift to remain absolutely even after an emotional event.
These boards are a great place to lay something out there and get the feedback. I think that's why so many of us keep coming back.
Sorry need to clarify, my child will be out of the elementary school next year that is why Iwill only have one more year on the board even though our terms are 3 years. I just do not feel I would have as much input with my child out the elementary school.
I am in a difficult position at this time. I had a well heated discussion with one other board member, and allowed myself to get "out of control" It began because of what I feel is her over stepping her responsibilities. Also disagreements about elections. I made two comments to her and now regret saying them. I have thought to call her and apologize, yet I honestly do not feel it will do any good. She already had some negative feelings towards me due to losing a position last year to me. My question concerns next year. There is a chance I will have to spend one more year with this person on the board and honestly I don't feel anyting will get accomplished because of the ill feelings. Do I stay another year, or wait till after elections see who is on the board and decide then.
Cinema,
Thanks for putting it to me so straight forward. I totally agree with you. I think I am finding my closure here by venting and receiving input fom others. This forum has been an awesome tool to help me cope!
