Hang in there hon. There is a ton of frustration in the weeks that start up and sometimes you just have to focus on the nuggets of joy you get back. I say nuggets because they are small little gem moments that you grab on to and refuel.
Over many, many years of leadership positions I've learned that I need to trust myself. I work very, very hard to make decisions (along with the board) that I think are fair, informed, balanced and forward leaning. There will ALWAYS be someone that disagrees, there will always be a negative comment, and there will always be naysayers. But I know that I don't do things casually and I don't have an agenda an so I can walk forward with pride in the group and our groups goals. Take a breather, review what you and your board are doing and enjoy this as much as you can. Also, don't worry about "splainin" too much. Emails are a very devisive tool that can carry you or curse you. Someone will ALWAYS disagree with what you have to say. This is a learning and growth experience for you so take it that way and learn from the last things you've done.
When you stand up in front of the board, don't say things you don't believe. Say things you DO believe. Say you believe your group is focused on making things in the school great, say it is a difficult balance at times to ensure that all aspects of a multicultural, personality varied population meld together smoothly and say that this is a great personal challenge for you. But end with the fact that you have no doubt that your children and the schools children are better for your efforts. That you and the parents are a team working to make your school the best it can possibly be. Have the kind of attitude that makes your leadership stand up and stand out.
You are making a difference. You are making some little boy or girl feel good about their education because of a brightly decorated bulletin board. You're making a teacher approach their day with a smile because of a treat in the teacher's lounge. You're doing something that no one else in the world is doing at your school and your children and every other child there will benefit. So hang in there. It'll probably get worse before it gets better, but once you build it "they will come".
d

Gosh.. some days I feel the same way. What is keeping me going is that two of the most important people in the the World to me are spending 7 hours a day in the school..my Kindergartener and my Second Grader. We do this for the kids and the community. I hope it gets better.

Tues was our first PTO night, great outcome, a few heated discussions regarding the budget, voices were raised...anyway, I don't want to go into the details.
So Wed, I emailed all involved to clarify some good information
Wed-I wanted to Quit
Thurs-Got some serious backlashed, misunderstood violent emails.
Thurs - I really wanted to Quit
Fri - Heard some hateful words from a reliable source from the front office that PTO (me) is more of a hindrance then help bc I ask too many questions. (how will I learn if I don't ask and the information is not forth coming)
Frid - I cried, said I was quitting, notified by Board
Sat - cried some more, still wanted to quit (my board said if I go, they go)
Sun- didn't feel much better, but still wanted to quit
today is MOnday, feel 1% better, I'm at a maybe. maybe I'll stay in so the overzealous ones don't take over (maybe I should let them).

I am tired, I am mentally exhausted of the bs, lack of support, lack of volunteers, overzealous volunteers.

I worry about the budget, I worry about constantly making money, constantly making every event a success and making sure everyone is happy. I deal with chairs that get along and some that don't. I deal with the political issues....we can't say halloween, we can't say christmas, we can't say valentine, we can't say bilingual, we can't ask if your child has allergies (privacy issues)...etc....

I feel like I constantly have to justify myself. I deal with District and IRS guidelines that others may not like the answers.

In two weeks I will have to stand up in front of the superintendent and smile and say how wonderful things are and how excited I am for the new year, while deep inside, I want to run away as fast as I can.

I try not to take things personally, but when people (that don't volunteer) say pto is for a bunch of power hungry white moms, well.... that just really gets my goat.

my board is multicultural, my volunteers are multicultural. my volunteers are passionate, dedicated and roll up our sleeves to get the job done every time!

I JUST don't know what to do anymore. Do I care if people think I'm a quitter? No. Do I care that people got the best of me? yes. do I believe I did the best I can? you bet your bottom pto dollars!

help me before I jump off this bridge.

ds