My son left elementary school last year. Pre-k through 5th for the Middle School. Our elementary school does not host dances, although others in our town do. The middle school does hold sock hops for 6th grade in the cafeteria and 7th and 8th in the gym. My son signed me up to work the refreshment table, so I got first hand view of the evening. Many of the kids danced, and the dj was actually the DARE officer (non-dare event). There were no slow songs to worry about slow dancing or being partnered up. The girls danced with the girls and boys were busy showing off on the dance floor. All kids had a blast that night. The kids who didn't dance sat at the lunch tables and talked with friends and enjoyed refreshments.

I know what you mean about being small fishes, but they will adjust. At our middle school, the kids from each 5th graders at each elementary school have their own day to visit the middle school. They are paired with a 6th grader who attended their elementary school the prior year (someone they know) and they shadow that student through the school that day. Classes, lunch, gym, band, art, whatever classes that 6th grader has. The 5th graders return to their school at the end of the day and come off the bus excited about what next year holds. My son is the 6th grader this year and was busy writing his "hello" letter last night that will be sent to one of this years 5th graders from his former elemetary school. He has a list of things to include in his letter. What team he is on, who the teachers are and what classes they teach. It also tells of clubs they can join, explains the A day B day schedule and also tells that there are more choices for lunch! The student who receives his letter will then come out and shadow him one day next month. During this trip the 5th graders receive several pamphlets explaining what they will need for gym clothes, a map of the school, list of teachers on their teams, school rules and A day B day schedule.

I think that we are fortunate at our school that the 6th grade has the newer wing for their classes. 7th grade is the 1st floor hallway and 8th grade is on second floor.

My son's k-8 school only had dances for 7th & 8th grade enrolled students. No younger students, no outside student, no exceptions.

I, too, think it's great that you want to include the other 60 students and help ease the transition for all of your kids. But like the other's said, the offer was presented and declined so the matter should be dropped.

You say the principal signed your use permit and then you decided to invite the other students. Are you sure your principal is fine with the other kids attending?

Even though the PTO is hosting the event, the very fact that it's being held at school with a permit signed by the principal leads folks to believe that it's a supervised school function.

Actually, there is a great deal of maturing that takes place in the summer between 6th & 7th grade. Not for all of the students but for most of them. It's always amazing to me to see kids leave 6th grade and come back three short months later for 7th grade as young adults.

Its a nice gesture to include those students in your event. I agree that it would help to formulate new friendships or continue those created via the rec programs etc. Would you consider changing it from a dance to a fun night. Still have the DJ, but they would act more as a Master of Ceremonies. Plan activities throughout the evening where they can really interact and have fun together. Then they are not only busy, but it can be a better opportunity to bond. Have plenty of parent volunteers and it decreases the worry of the principal of having a "dance" & supervision. Invite teachers as well to celebrate one last event with their departing students. Then approach the principal again (maybe with your principal in tow) and present it as a way for students to break down the labels associated by the school they attend and begin to look forward to a new school year with new friends. I think its worth one more try, but you have to listen to his concerns and make adjustments to your plan.

Wow! All of our classes beginning at the 5th grade get a dance each year and have never had any issues. It is always a great night looked forward to by each grade. At each grade level the theme of the dance is different. We have approximately 100 kids per grade.

There is nothing you can do about the other school so I would just let that matter drop. But I see no reason why you cannot continue as planned for your kids to give them something special! Good Luck!

I would back off. I think the 2d schools thoughts are reasonable and if you want to have a dance for your 6th grade go for it but don't incorporate a 2d school where the principal is not interested.
To smooth the transition to the next school we do an Alumni night where in a relaxed environment (i.e. pizza and sodas) we invite back our almuni that are finishing 7th grade and their parents and allow the students to ask questions of one another and the parents to do the same in a separate area. It is moderated and the exchange of information is fantastic. It also allows the renewal of friendships and faces that existed the year before.
You may need to cooperate with the other school at another point in time and to set up a combative relationship might not bear well for you in the future. Just my thoughts and I realize others will maybe not agree but when you set up something social in spite of the approval (that you requested) from the other school - you are basically blowing them off.

Either way it is great that you are thinking ahead and are concerned about your kids. I hope it all works out for you!
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While I have to say I am personally not a big fan of dances for 6th graders, I applaud your group for wanting to do something to bring all the kids together. Since there are only 12 parents at the other school, then I would just send the information to the homes of the students and let their parents complete it and send the premission slips and money back to you. Is your school going to have a problem with students from the other school being present at this event?

Are you using a DJ for the music? Could you have this person or the chaperones start some kinds of group type dances that would get everyone on the floor without having to be "partnered up"?