ADVICE NEEDED! What would you do? This might take a few lines so bear with me...

There are 24 kids in our graduating 6th grade class.
They are going to the regional middle school and will become little fishes in a school of 500, not knowing most of their new classmates.
There is a neighboring school that also sends their students to the same middle school. We share the same rec department and sports teams, etc and are the two farthest schools from the regional middle school.
Our PTO is an insured 501c3 group and got a facility use permit to use the gym for the 6th grade spring social - first of its kind at our new school.
Our principal was reluctant and said the school district does not support dances or socials in elementary schools but because we are a seperate group that SUPPORTS the school, she agreed to sign the use permit anyway. She is also allowing us to send flyers home with the 6th graders and the school office will sell tickets and collect the permission forms.

The PTO then decided to open the invitation to the 60 6th graders at the neighboring school. This would allow an excellent opportunity for our 24 to mingle with their 60 and help our students feel a little more comfortable with the transition to 7th grade. It would also give the parents a chance to at least meet. Sounds great right?

I contacted the principal of the neighboring school and asked if we could send flyers home with their 6th graders and if they would collect permission slips and sell tickets since they KNOW who's who. The response NO WAY, NO HOW. Reasons?

1. The school held events like this in the past and decided to no longer support these events for 6th graders. Despite attempts to make it fun for all, some children got upset, boys and girls stood on seperate sides of the room, the chaperones were frustrated.{sounds like every day at recess doesn't it}
2. The staff's position is that 6th graders are not developmentally mature enough to handle this type of event.{Though somehow they will miraculously mature over summer break and be ready for the 7th grade homecoming dance???}
3. If we invite their 6th graders to our school, there will be renewed pressure to hold these types of events at their school in the future.

The event is scheduled for May. I have to go to my membership this month at our PTO meeting and ask for direction. I would really like all you PTOers with advice to send it my way. The neighboring school does not have an active PTO or PTA that our PTO can work through. Should our board meet with their principal? {Just so happens three of our PTO officers are also
6th grade parents} Should we, through word of mouth, invite their students outside of school hours? (The 12 parents at the neighboring school are completely in favor of our invitation).

I'm stuck! And we REALLY don't want to let this go as we believe it will greatly benefit our students! Help!