I'm so glad that our PTO doesn't go through this sort of thing because we never have anyone who wants to step up to even form committees in the first place. It's the same 3 mothers who do all of the work, but at least we don't experience that sort of drama.

I just wanted to say hold your head high it will be tough but you will be the better person. Its tough dealing with these kinds of parents.
I had one exactly the same my first year as president and I had to do the exact same thing your doing. It made me a better person and afterwards all the parents took me much more seriously. I also found out that the person that we had do this to us had done this before in other organizations and they let her do it. I was the first person who stood up to her in a nice way, but held my ground and she hasnt been doing it much to others now.
You have the same great advice that they gave me when it happened to me.Remind her of the rules/bylaws that you all need to follow and give her a timeline.

Good Luck

Draw up a code of conduct/expectations, and bylaws and have each chair/parent voulunteer sign. Let them know that if they do not meet expectations that they will be asked to step down.

Good luck!

Pushy Mom;130084 wrote: I amPresident of my PTO & have a situation I'd love input on & some support. The VP & myself selected two mothers as Chairpersons of our 5th grade activities committee even though we had severe reservations. One is extremely "mouthy" & has to sound off negatively about everything, needs to know every detail of a situation & asks questions that would exhaust the most peppy person around. She also has this endless list of suggestions, but when asked if she would lead the committee to research it, start it, or handle the event, she "doesn't have the time".
Our bylaws clearly state that all committee plans need to be passed by & approved by the President. However, they haven't done that even though they are in the middle of planning our 5th grade fun night. The memo they wanted to distribute to parents, pretty much states what plans they made (even though they were to form a committee of parents that wanted to be involved) and states if a parent is can help with the listed areas to attend the meeting. It came off sounding it was excluding anyone else from attending. This parent has now called a dozen or so people to ask them to call ME & ask that I approve this memo. She won't accept any input from other parents stating that they already know what they are doing & won't explain any of the plans to either myself or the VP.
Have you had a pushy, mouthy parent just ignore your bylaws and act on their own despite you reaching out and asking for updates? How far should I go with this? The Principal is aware they are not providing updates & she stated to me that the event will not occur unless its approved. Please HELP!

Draw up a code of conduct/expectations, and bylaws and have each chair/parent voulunteer sign. Let them know that if they do not meet expectations that they will be asked to step down.

Good luck!

You know she behaves like that because it works for her. And like any child, when she is forced to live to standards she WILL make it worse before it gets better. The good news is it sounds like you have the strength of character to stand up to that and in the long run your organization will benefit. I've always had the mindset of smiling sweetly (sometimes sickly so) when being criticiqued or fussed at by characters like you've described. EVERYONE knows what she is like and as you are new--they're looking to see what YOU are like. You can turn this into a huge character win and follow the rule book as published. I agree with CC-that's the reason there are rulebooks...so everyone has something solid to hold onto.

Good luck and regardless, this is about her inabilities, not yours...
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wfs , welcome to the world of pto woes, where dealing with adults is seems somethimes much harder than with the kids....dlf and cc gvie you great advice, i cant add anytghing except, dont let it get you down, smile, be nice and talk IN PERSON so there are no misunderstandings and cut the gossip off at the head, by clearing the air. the only hting worse than problems between parents, is problems that arent aired out one on one to find out that everyone understands each other and dispel myth. rumor kills the organizations spirit. good luck.

A life based on reason will always require to be balanced by an occasional bout of violent and irrational emotion, for instinctual drives must be satisfied. Cyril Connolly