WFS~

First, congratulations on accepting this mom as the committee chair even though you knew she would bring some challenges with her. We always preach that a PTO shouldn't be a clique or positions/appointments be a popularity contest. Despite her 'challenges' she has as much right as anyone else to be actively involved in her child's school. So, good for you!

Second, I agree with d. The chair needs to abide by the rules. Yes, she'll be grumpy about it and you'll be gossip fodder for a few days. You can take that. Don't let her turn it into a personal issue. Explain that "the bylaws" require plans and approval and that the administration requires full disclosure and final approval of all in-school activities. Since you mention two moms, include both of them so it's clear that you're just following proper procedures and not "picking on" one person.

I had an officer who refused to follow our bylaws, policies, etc (or, like the lady you mention, any rules any where really). I was consistent in my communication with her even though she tried to personally attack me each time. I simply told her that regardless of her personal feelings for me we all had the same rules to follow and, as president, it was my responsibility to make sure everyone on the team knows and follows the rules.

Thanks for the support. I called and left her a message that I wanted to speak with her. Although at the start of the year, each chairperson was provided with a folder with expectations, copies of the bylaw section pertaining to chairpersons, memos, etc. she seems to have her own set of rules.
She's the type of person that would make a scene in a clothing store or grocery store because her coupon expired & the salesperson wasn't honoring it, but she wasn't able to fit the time into her schedule during the sale day. Making a major scene in the store until the manager gives her what she wanted to get her out of the store, stop the embarassment it was causing him/her, or avoid a possible lawsuit from the woman because she developed a sore throat from screaming so loud.
I just know that this will be a huge headache & no matter what I'm targeted for the weekly gossip. However, like you said, I am trying to hold my ground. It's my son's last year here, so I'm out of the position comes June, but I was hoping to leave things on a positive note. This mom is just one that cannot listen to reason if its not what she wants. I'm hope it doesn't come to having to remove her because I don't know what situation that will create!

The only thing worse than having a bad committee chair working your event for a month, is having one working your event for a month and one day...(hmmmm where did I get that from). Really-I think you should have a sit down with the chair, explain to her the expectations of her position as far as informing, seeking approval, and including as required by the bylaws. That is what they are there for. Give her a set timeline on getting back with you to explain what is going on and with a plan you can run by the principal for approval, and then execute the timeline.
If she fails to adhere to the process within reasonable parameters (i.e. her child gets sick and she misses the meeting okay I got it) and then you notify her in writing that she has been dismissed as the chair for violations of the organizations bylaws.
If you have already done the steps above, I would dismiss her now. Of course you may want to ensure you have a replacement or "Hello new committee chair" but if you don't enforce the way you expect things to be done, then you will become irrelevant and your functions will be at the whimsy of the chair.
We have a basic leter with expectations and requirements we give our chairs so that there is a clear understanding as to what is and is not acceptable. There is latitude in those requirements for originality, adjustment etc...but it is managed and approved by the PTO Board.
Good luck-but don't wait...it gets harder to do as the days slip by.

d

I amPresident of my PTO & have a situation I'd love input on & some support. The VP & myself selected two mothers as Chairpersons of our 5th grade activities committee even though we had severe reservations. One is extremely "mouthy" & has to sound off negatively about everything, needs to know every detail of a situation & asks questions that would exhaust the most peppy person around. She also has this endless list of suggestions, but when asked if she would lead the committee to research it, start it, or handle the event, she "doesn't have the time".
Our bylaws clearly state that all committee plans need to be passed by & approved by the President. However, they haven't done that even though they are in the middle of planning our 5th grade fun night. The memo they wanted to distribute to parents, pretty much states what plans they made (even though they were to form a committee of parents that wanted to be involved) and states if a parent is can help with the listed areas to attend the meeting. It came off sounding it was excluding anyone else from attending. This parent has now called a dozen or so people to ask them to call ME & ask that I approve this memo. She won't accept any input from other parents stating that they already know what they are doing & won't explain any of the plans to either myself or the VP.
Have you had a pushy, mouthy parent just ignore your bylaws and act on their own despite you reaching out and asking for updates? How far should I go with this? The Principal is aware they are not providing updates & she stated to me that the event will not occur unless its approved. Please HELP!