We have an extremely high rate of volunteerism at our school (we require 20 hours per family and we are a school of choice - which says we have parents who are paying attention to education). There is also an abundance of activities which the parents organize and provide. Yet, at our PTO meetings, the attendance is about 10 - 12 people, mostly all Board members.
I have come to the conclusion that if people have a beef, then they will attend. If not, they leave it up to the people who are already doing a job of which they approve. I measure support by participation in our fund raisers and social events, not by meeting attendance. Also, if I need something, I call and ask. Usually, it is not difficult to find someone to help if I define the task and tell them what resources they will have.
We have scheduled meetings in the morning, and in the evening, social and business. Teacher attendance is almost non-existent either way (we hear the comment that "we are not being paid", with a few exceptions), and usually it is the same parents attending with maybe two people who are different. Also, we've tried food, guest speakers, informative discussions and important decision-making. It doesn't seem to matter. Those who care enough to voice an opinion will voice it. Quite a few prefer email as to committing the time to attend a meeting. We share their comments, but when it comes to a vote, they choose not to be there. I take that as they want to be involved, but are satisfied with the outcome of those who are going to see the project through.
Door prizes, food and the like are a lot of work for one or two parents who usually are doing so much of the work anyway. I think if people want to get involved, they will. Food or prizes won't lure them. I'd rather use the door prizes we ask our businesses to contribute to give to our teachers as gifts at Teacher Apprec or Christmas, or as raffle prizes for raising money and drawing people to other events - not meetings.
In short, our meetings have low attendance, but we have extremely active parents throughout the school, doing what they can in other ways. We provide good communications as to what is going on, with a multitude of opportunities to come to meetings or get involved. As long as we provide opportunity, parents can't complain about direction or ignorance (or we put them in charge). We have added more positions on our board to encourage more "brains" at our meetings.
Just a note to Towanda: I could not agree with you more about parents not taking responsibility for their child's education, or behavior. (Don't get me started on my soap box). The truth is, if the parents don't "get it", I don't think we can make them. Those parents will never be "involved" and if they are, you'd probably prefer not to deal with them as they're not thinking in terms of "doing good" for the school or for any reason other than to make sure their child is taken care of. Many people are not programmed that way (I think it is taught).
While it seems there are many "excuses," I think this is reality ( and yes, they sound like excuses to me, too.) I have very high expectations and have to lower them in order not to be frustrated or disappointed and to learn to be flexible. This is where we have to consider the "excuses" and give them some validity. It allows me to enjoy my job as PTO Pres so much more.