I think we all need to step back and look at the big picture of reality...the PTO and attending meetings are not the priority of every single parent. [GASP!} Those of us who post here obviously feel that the PTO/PTA/PTSA is very important and we donate a lot of time and effort into making it work. Are we better parents than those who don't? Of course not. There are so many different ways of parenting and who are we to say what's the best way? Some of my best parents have NEVER attended a meeting. Some of them never substitute or participate in parties. Some never volunteer for anything. BUT they are hard working parents trying to make ends meet. Some volunteer in their church or for other charitable organizations. Some just help their child with homework. This is my last year on the executive board and we will probably move to another international assignment...will I immediately jump in and be involved like I am here? Probably not. Does that make me a bad parent? Until we can all be more open-minded to the fact that people are different, respect those differences, and start to work around them only then can we work with the parents we do have and use them to their full potential! :cool:
I will have to defend mellower. First off, this is a forum for us to come to and speak quite frankly about where its at for us. Just because she is being frank about "how things are" does not mean she comes accross that way outside this forum to others. Lighten up a little. I am sure there are a lot of folks reading this forum who are in the same place she is.
And for those who don't even have a spare hour or two in the ENTIRE school year to make a difference, when everyone else is doing for THEIR child's benefit....shame on them.
Mellower: I don't want you to take offense to the following, but after reading your post, I had to respond, if only to defend those who can't attend meetings - or those who won't.
Maybe they don't come or offer help because you feel so strongly about your points of view. Just reading your post made that very clear. Your actions and attitude must be even more clear. In one sentence you say you don't buy that they don't have an hour or two a month. Who are you to decide for them what should be their priority? You yourself mention your family as a priority. It isn't up to you to decide where on the 'priority totem pole' someone's family vs PTO meetings should fall. And who cares if you buy into their reasons? They might just be trying to be nice and not hurt your feelings. I would do the same... Your opinions come across very strongly and the people who aren't coming are probably picking up on that.
Attending a PTO meeting is not a mandatory thing. We who are active think it should be, but the fact is that it is completely voluntary. No one owes you an explanation of why they don't or can't attend and no one should have to reset their priorities to be in line with yours.
Part of getting people to help you is being able to identify with their issues, or at least appear to. It is kind of like the saying "you get more flys with honey than with vinegar". If 200 people payed $5 at the start of school, and you are getting less than a quarter of that at your meetings, maybe you should try some honey. Obviously the vinegar isn't working. I know it wouldn't work for me on any level.
This is so sad.....but you have to bribe them. That is about the only way you can get parents who aren't already completely involved in. I don't buy the 'I'm a working parent and have so many other responsiblilites' gig when as little as 1 to 2 hrs a month is a huge help to the PTO, if you can't give that much you got some problems. You can do things as 'the class with the most parents at a pto meeting wins a popcorn party' and don't I know how pitiful it sounds to do that but hey you gotta do what you gotta do. I know a lot of people here say it's not as important to have people at the PTO meetings but I repectfully disagree. The more people that attend a meeting the more likely you are to really get help. I shouldn't have to call all the 200 names on the list that paid 5 bucks at the beginning of the year every single time I need help, on top of what I'm already doing I don't have the time to spend another night on the phone instead of with my kids and husband. We send out a PTO newsletter letting parents know when we need help......ask me how many responses that generates...0. It really is important to get to the PTO meetings. On top of that it cuts down the complaints to me (fundraising chair) because they are there and they actually comprehend the whole picture.
I wasn't offended in the least. I know it's frustrating and even at a council level, 30 schools and 2 people attend from one school, it's frustrating but we are accomplishing things.
I really believe that people want to be part of something that first, looks like fun. If you hear someone saying, "That fundraiser was so hard, everyone was so rude and we didn't make nearly enough money", would you be the first to raise your hand and help next year? Or even gossip and backbiting, leading the clique mentality, It's important to remember that your board is setting the standard by which you want your volunteers to aspire to. Be open, warm and friendly and people will react in kind.
Our most successful PTAs gather their volunteers from a "captive" audience. Someone is there at registration, with a sign-up sheet and memberships. And even more important, they are contacted early on to acknowledge that they have volunteered. Of course, people remember that they have volunteered to do something, even if they don't remember what for. If they aren't used, they'll remember that. Make certain everyone who volunteers gets a chance to do so.
Those who are involved need to show that they are involved. I've seen so many PTAs fall to poor involvement because people don't think they are doing anything. Fun nights, bingo, "Reflections" is very popular. One school does a multicultural night that is very popular.
I use an e-mail database of members also. I keep them informed as things happen. I have seen the excitement grow within my council. Other PTAs do the same and it makes the members feel more connected. collect e-mail addresses from your members and use them. It creates a world of difference.
Towanda, Another thought - are your parents treated as equals? Do they chair events or do you set everything up and then just ask for their help? One of my frustrations at our ms was that the parents group was run by the Principal. The one parent that really helped her didn't have kids in the school and was in charge of every single event.
We were able to break it down a little but it was an uphill battle. Of course, that may not be the case at your school, but thought I'd throw it out.
I'll also echo the comments about the health of an organization is not always measured by meeting attendance. Are your parents welcome in the classrooms? Often parents feel that if they're going to put their time in volunteering they want to do it in their own childs classroom. good luck!
