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Past president attitude at our first meeting

22 years 3 months ago #96744 by <CountMeIn>
Replied by <CountMeIn> on topic RE: Past president attitude at our first meeting
Let me get this straight. Just because a few people always volunteer for your PTO that makes them a clique? I'd bet that most of them don't even talk to each other outside of your meetings or even know each other except by name. Does that also make you and any of your friends that volunteer another clique in the group now?

And by the way, the same parent's that do things all the time might actually ENJOY being involved. THAT and the CHILDREN is why they do it. WHY is it such a crime for one person to do more than one thing in the PTO? If other people want to be involved, they should come to some PTO meetings once in a while and get involved instead of complaining and making excuses. I bet when the time comes, and you need help with something and can't get help, the so called "clique" can do all they want and it will be no problem. Did you ever think that the same people have done it because no one else ever came or showed up or bothered to work with the PTO (don't tell me - the clique right)? I guess when your term as President is over you aren't going to stick around, that would make you one of the "same people" all the time.

Anything that anyone goes into that they have never been involved in is intimidating. That's not the fault of the people that are already in the PTO or club or whatever else it might be. The first PTO meeting I ever went to I was so nervous I could have passed out. Once I came to a few meetings and felt more comfortable I was fine. I never blamed that feeling on anyone else. Yeah, there were groups but I wouldn't call them a clique. They were either people who had worked together in the PTO before or friends that always sit by each other. In a perfect world, everyone would agree on everything and there would be no need for voting. The point of having the group IS to get everyone's opinion and point of view, whether it is good or bad or whether it agrees with your opinion of things or not. The PTO is not a dictatorship. Everyone there has ideas of how they would like to see things done and has a right to voice their opinion.

How many people that you've heard from repeatedly have actually been to more than one meeting and how many of them are your friends?

No matter how big your group is, there is bound to be little cliques in it. There is in any group, whether it be a clique of two people or more. Like I said before, you and your friends (if you have friends in the PTO) in one group could also be considered a clique.

As for respect and cooperation. Where there is no respect, there will be no cooperation. I know that I wouldn't do a darn thing for anyone if they were going around badmouthing me, accusing me of being in a clique or blaming me and the other members that have worked their butts off for the reason they never come to PTO meetings. Everyone has an excuse don't they? It's always easier to blame someone else. I would almost bet that your past President has a huge ORGANIZED box, file or whatever he/she keeps stuff in that is full of PTO information but for some reason or other (maybe the way they were treated) is not willing to hand it over.

Did you even THANK your past President for the great job she did for your PTO when she left office?

Have you done anything to bring the new group and the old together? What did you do when you joined the group? Did you try to take over everyone's position or something that would have made them mad at you? Did you change things around to suit you and what you want only? When a position came open or help was needed did you only ask your friends to do it or did it go to the group to see if someone else might have an idea of a person they thought could do the job too? I've seen that scenario happen in our group. Some people volunteer to actually not only help the kids but to have something that they think is fun to do to them. If the President does all the work, what does that leave each committee member or chairperson to do? Why even have committee people or chair people? Not saying that you did any of this, just trying to mull around some ideas.

I would also bet that the past PTO did lots of good for the school and the children. You make it sound like they didn't and that YOU will be the one person to come in and do anything good and turn it around (whether it needs turned around or not). Maybe that attitude is a turn off.

Also, just because someone sounds negative doesn't mean they are. For instance, if someone wanted to do something and I saw things that would make it a bad idea, I wouldn't hesitate to bring it up. I don't feel that I need to bring up the good points as most of the time those are obvious, where different people will see reasons why something wouldn't work that you or the others might not think of that need to be brought up and discussed. That wouldn't mean I am against any ideas.

Just remember, someone will complain about you when you leave too. Maybe several already do because they know you from some other group you've been in. No one is perfect, and I mean NO ONE (though some definitely think they are)!
22 years 3 months ago #96743 by TeachersPet
Replied by TeachersPet on topic RE: Past president attitude at our first meeting
MOmom Perhaps I don't understand your situation. You say parents didn't volunteer in the past because of the clique, and cliques are defined as a small group. So am I to understand that your school never has carnivals, or sports nights or anything that would require a lot of parent participation, because the clique would do all the work necessary to make the special event successful? You must have a really small school and a very small board. I don't understand how parents can be so intimidated that they wouldn't want to volunteer to help at their childs school.

Since you are president this year you obviously served on the board in the past, how did you overcome the shadow of the clique? If there were so many parents intimidated, how did your PTO recruit new board members, or are you still stuck with all of the clique members?
22 years 3 months ago #96742 by Lisa@Tx
You GO GIRLS!

I do have a suggestion, however. Perhaps your parliamentarian can say a few words at the start of the next meeting. Take it as a positive thing. Let her explain the "rules" of a proper meeting. Some do not know how a meeting should be held. Remind everyone, that the mtg will go quicker if you stick to your AGENDA. Everyone gets their turn, its just a matter of respect while someone is speaking, and even tho their comments are welcome and appreciated, there is the proper time for that.

And, after the meeting has been adjourned, everyone can stay to mingle.

Hope that helps some!
Lisa @ Tx
22 years 3 months ago #96741 by MOmom
TeachersPet- Wow !! Both guns blazing!!
let me say this- respect is not the problem, cooperation is. And respect goes both ways.
As for the clique- people are intimidated and do not volunteer. I have heard this repeatedly !
A clique is generally a small group- how could encourageing parents to volunteer each year encourage a clique? I would hope to get LOTS of parents involved, therefore we could be considered a clique no more.
I believe more parents involved= more resources=things only improving for the kids and school.
22 years 3 months ago #96740 by TeachersPet
Replied by TeachersPet on topic RE: Past president attitude at our first meeting
I can't help wondering if the problem with the lack of cooperation between the incoming and outgoing presidents is the attitude displayed with the changing of the guard. Could it be that those of you who are having problems are treating the expresident with little or no respect for all the time they spent while they were in office. If projects have been accomplished at your school, then he/she must have had some skills in order to get the cooperation and work out of your board. Perhaps you get upset with what the ex is saying during meetings because you don't want the ex talking at all. Maybe its just a lack of self confidence on your part that makes you so uncomfortable and encourages all the anger within.

At my school we would also be guilty of cliques because there are just a few of us who are always willing to say "no problem, when do you need me". I can't see where this type of "clique" would anger people not to ever volunteer. You say you want parents to volunteer every year their child is in school but wouldn't that encourage the cliques you are so opposed to? I would hate to think that my time spent was as appreciated as yesterdays trash.
22 years 3 months ago #96739 by MOmom
Shelbyto- You are soooooo lucky to have a president that was organized AND passed the information along !!!!! What a jewel !!!! Too bad this is the exception and not the rule.
Hope you have a great year !!!! :D
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