This is one of those times when are {Hoover}damned if you do and...well, you know the rest!

Also I am voting "yes" on the other problem/issue theory. What is the first thing we think of when we yell at our kids or hubby? The dishes that were left on the coffee table but don't mention how we are really upset about the phone call from his mom or something much bigger.

No you shouldn't have to explain yourself everytime but this is also when you have to pick your battle too. But you know that too.

Hang in there Melissa. I don't think she is a lost cause, just not sure what to think and would love to hide....and feel better!

Then I suspect Melissa--that she is a lost cause and you're unfortunately not going to feel comfortable around her again. Best of luck to you as you seem to be doing more than you ought to...and if you ever want another job you can certainly be on the board with us... [img]smile.gif[/img] ...d

I am also the treasurer and all I really do on the night of the meeting is make my copies. I give one to each board member and put some extras on the table for membership if they want it. The president pretty much handles everything else. I can't imagine what she's talking about either.

Do you have a working meeting (just the executive board) before hand? We usually have one a few days before so the president can go over her agenda with us and we can all put our two cents in as to what we'd like to add or leave out. But again, she runs the actual meeting so if you there is nothing for anyone to do, I don't think it would be your fault.

Maybe before you do something to help her out, ask her first. Give her a call and say something like "I saw a pile of mail in the office for you. Would you like me to pick it up for you next time I go in?" or "I know your going in the hospital next week. What can I do to help you out?". Maybe she's upset that you are doing things and not giving her a choice. Even though she may not be able to do it herself, she may want the option of delegating. Some people don't want to come across as helpless and aren't sure how to take an act of kindness as just that.

Hope this helps!

(don't say it is due to her illness....if you took on more than your fair share that was your decision)

I think you misunderstood what I was saying, Dianna. I haven't taken on more than my fair share, I just covered her back. Reminded her to send out emails when she was past the date that she normally would send them out, checked her in-box when she was in the hospital to see if there was anything that needed immediate attention, stuff like that. I wanted her to be able to save face because many people thought she shouldn't be pres due to the severity of her health issues. And, BTW, I HAVE apologized for anything that has hurt her feelings. AND, as I said, I have not bad-mouthed her. As a matter of fact I have defended her to the bitter end when anybody else attacked her for letting things slide.

I just wanted to get a feel for what other groups do at their meetings.

Yeah--there's something else going on. This probably has NOTHING to do with making copies. Sounds like the "talking behind the back" thing has things very personally tainted. If you guys were friends, and if you did do something that may have been misread as malicious, or even if you were a bit malicious, all you can do is say you are sorry that there was a misinterpretation and that you'd like to move on in a positive spirit. Everyone is a grown up and this isn't high school any more. People make mistakes and we just have to learn from it all and move on. The PTO isn't a place to air or carry personal grudges. It detracts from the overall ability of the group to help the children. If you can reaffirm that helping the group support the children is the reason you are a part of the group, make amends for any bad stuff that may have gone on before (don't say it is due to her illness....if you took on more than your fair share that was your decision) and try to get things back on a professional track. That's the best you can do...Good Luck...dianna

Melissa, it sounds like you don't do anything out of the ordinary. Maybe if she harps on you doing too much again, you could ask her what that is. If she has been ill, is it possible that she feels guilty about not being able to complete her job and is just taking it out on you for some reason? From my own experience, I think the reason most people decide to leave their group is because it reminds them too much of high school. Some people think that's the way life is. Just hold your head up and keep doing what you do.