This is my 2nd year as PTO president. The first year I worked here and there. This year I work full-time. It was a very hard adjustment to make. But, I made it clear before elections last year that I would not be responsible for everything. I made it absolutely clear that members would have to step up and chair committees or events would be cancelled. It was very hard to let go of being involved with everything. But, I'm not near as stressed out and burnt out as I was this time last year. I have decided that this is how it should be done whether you work or not. I spent the summer getting together committee folders and asked for chairpeople at the beginning of the year. So far, things are going very smoothly. I'm sure people still talk about me not being available for events but, hey, no one else stepped up for the position. Don't worry about it. do the best you can within reason. Don't burn yourself out. Communication is key. I have made it clear time and again what I am able to do and what I need others to do. I have learned to be more assertive in delegating tasks. Most of our volunteers are willing to do anything but, you have to ask and tell them what to do. That was hard for me too, but if I don't do it, we fail. Good Luck to you!!!!!!!!!!!

I am in similiar issue here but opposite sitaution. I have 3 kids under six one is my dd 14 mths. Well no one would step up to the plate to be pres. So I said I would do it but the baby has to be here at the school for many things take it or leave it. They took it.

I cant do all that stuff as you have mentioned, I do some what I can get to. The key is to delegate. DO what you can and sift out the rest and don't beat yourself up about it. There will always be something. My feeling is a lot of parents dont want to be bothered or FIND the time. They always ask me how do you do it with 3 little ones if you make it a priority to make time they will.

My adivce is ask, ask, ask. There are people out there that want to help but just were't asked. Thats how I became Pres and I'm sure a lot on this board same way.

Also I asked them to create a CO PRES best idea ever. We SHARE all the responsiblities and it has worked out awesome. Just a thought that maybe the pres thing wouldnt be so intimidating if they knew they had someone to help.

Good Luck

I'm sure your doing an awesome job!!!!!


Cindy

Dear Critter: Thank you for replying. I think that you are right, it is the culture that needs changed to be more inclusive of others and others with different perspectives experience etc. It is not fair or a good idea to make one person do it all, plus you lose creativity and fellowship that comes from having a group effort.

You are absolutely correct as to why people run to escape taking on a leadership role in our PTO (whether it is just a committee or on the Exec Board) because it is such an all consuming suffocating responsibility. The people who have done it in the past tell me that. One of the past presidents told me it took several years to get over it and none of the past presidents will volunteer for anything. Last year's president told me no way re: big responsibilities this year.

I really hesitated when they asked me b/c I felt as a working person that I wouldn't be able to do the job and that they would not accept me since I didn't know any of them personally. Our school is in the plush neighborhood of our town and most of the moms have huge beautiful homes, don't work, drop off the kids at school and then go jogging with their friends or off to tennis. I guess I am a poor weirdo but I like to work plus I need the money and would probably go crazy doing the stuff that they do, I don't know I never tried it, when I stayed home for two years I worked my behind off taking care of two babies the house and having a home based practice so I don't know. I have been pretty upfront about how I am, and surprisingly they have been pretty nice to me, probably because I took the good offensive approach and laid it out that I am not a fancy girl, I work and I don't do nice and I told them flat-out that I almost didn't do it because I didn't think that they would accept me b/c I thought they were all rich girls. I also told them that I had not volunteered in years past b/c I felt that they would be mean to me b/c I worked. This was a good sharing b/c they said they were afraid to ask working women to take on more so they didn't ever approach any of us.

I have emailed my Exec Board using your suggestion. We will meet next week and talk about some changes. I am really glad I found this website! Thanks, your school is lucky to have a smart woman like you in charge.

I'm a stay-at-home mom and PTO president, and I don't do that kind of feel-good stuff you describe, nor hold long daytime meetings. Don't beat yourself up. It's not all your responsibility. Did you ever consider that the root of the word "president" is "preside", not "do it all". The feel-good stuff should be the domain of a staff appreciation committee. The long daytime meetings can become short evening meetings and still acccomplish their agenda.

If others want to complain, they can of course be president next time. They aren't. You are. Set the tone that works for you. Delegate and empower. Put your VP to work (we use ours as the liaison to the committees.). Set appropriate expectations for the other offiers. It may have been your PTO's culture that the president does it all--- probably why no one else wanted the job. Now it's your chance to change that culture and spread the responsibilities around. In the process you'll take the burden off your shoulders and develop future leaders.

Don't let it bug you that some of the other moms consider themselves "too busy". Busy-ness is subjective. If you can find even a few like-minded parents, you can build a strong base for your PTO. Maybe they are hiding because they didn't feel comfortable with the way the PTO was run in the past (too social, too loosey-goosey, too cliqueish--whatever).

Your school is lucky to have you. Obviously you want to do what's right for the students or you wouldn't have added this to your plate. Hang in there and remember the basic purpose of your group.

This is a cry for help to any PTO Presidents out there that also hold down full-time jobs outside the home. Are there any? (besides me????)

Doing my full-time job as an atty,which is very demanding, and trying to be PTO President is a hard juggling act. I am getting the money raised that we need to raise but I just don't have time to do all the "feel good" stuff that the past non-working Presidents did, like plan little parties all the time and cocktail hours with the teachers afterschool and have meetings all morning b/c I have to work at my office. I like to do stuff like that when I have time but I don't have time.

I feel this knot of annoyance really growing in me b/c I feel like people think I'm not doing a good job b/c I can't do all that "feel good" stuff. I was drafted to be the President and I feel like I was a good sport to take a job that no one else wanted to do (I think that they asked everyone but the janitor and they all said No way) (the person who was supposed to be the President dropped out to go back to work)

If you are also doing PTO President and working full-time, do you experience difficulty in dealing with the other moms who say they are too busy to help, but that you see out jogging, lunching, shopping while you are working at your job all day and PTO all night?
I am having so much trouble dealing with it and I could really use some words of wisdom. It is very hard not to get snippy when people say they are too busy to even help at all, when you know that their schedules are much more flexible than yours.