AnnieGirl....did you say in a previous post that your by-laws expire??? That sounds rather strange. I'm hoping I didn't misread that because your by-laws shouldn't expire. You should review them periodically to make sure that they're up-to-date and reflect currently upon your Parent Group and the school. Your by-laws should remain consistent and be the basis for your group. Changes will happen but those should be addressed and action taken only if warranted and approved by the general assembly. Think of your general assembly as the House of Representatives or the Senate.....your bills (by-laws) should be reviewed, discussed and approved by them before they come to the President (along with the rest of the board) for approval. You have to remember that your groups board is merely the management for the group. A unified parent group board will get more done than a divided group. You have to find a way to get everyone on the same level.
These discussions are wonderful. I see so many things that help my group and I also see alot of references as to the way our group use to be. It's nice to know we're not the only ones out there having problems. If you think of the group members as friends and treat them as such, you'll go a long way in setting precedence for future groups who come along behind you.
Will keep checking in with you all periodically and thanks for all the helpful info.
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Boy was I upset when I wrote that last post. I have since had a meeting with the other members of the board and it was both good and "a little wierd". I sold them on two events, Family Fitness Night and Girls Night Out. I am applying for a grant for Family Fitness Night. I have yet to hear back from any of them on my drafed letter. I guess I'm on my own for the grant writing.
As far as the attitudes, they tried to nail me with one thing they thought I did wrong out of the 147 things I did right. I apologized if I had offended anyone and told them that it was never my intention to go behind anyones back or over anyone's head. I also told them that I was not being nasty to one of them when I simply asked a question. I asked a question about an event and when it was changed and she took it as a personal attack. I told her to please not take anything personally. If someone poses a question to me about an issue or event, I don't take it personally I just answer the question. It's o.k to have a disagreement, that's bound to happen.
My other clarified issue was the By-Laws and how I haven't received a copy of them since September when I came on the board. They got so nasty with me about how we don't always use the by-laws like a bible and we don't go procedure crazy. That's fine with me, but I had to explain to them that often times on a board of 6 women, you will have different personalities and you will have 5 of them that don't follow procedure to the T and there are those of us who like to have our rules in place and know what procedure is. That's not to say I'm not flexible, but people have to leave room for personalities like that.
I asked them to respect the way I am and I will respect the way they are and if we all understand how each other operates, we'll be fine. I think they understood where I was coming from and that we have bigger issues to deal with than the petty stuff. The kids need us and that's the main reason we are there.
Thanks for all your help ladies and gents. I'll let you know how the nominations go.
Come on over soccermom, we'll start a whole new organization of put up or shut ups! LOL. I'm going to keep the vocals up and make sure change happens even if it happens slowly. And I'm going to start with the 6-year president. She's been good but needs to move on. She's gotten "stale" and "lazy" because things have been done the same way for years so she just doesn't have any fresh ideas left in her.
I just requested a meeting with the board at my house to clear things up and to go over a calendar for next year. Should I serve "punch"? No punn intended. LOL!
Can I move there? I'm sure that we'd get along spledidly!
Things WILL work out for the best! They always do! Even if you can't understand at the time WHY, things do happen for a reason. And remember, next week, there will be some other issue from another person that takes center stage. When we're directly involved, it seems like all eyes are on us, just waiting for the "slip". I'm certain that your vocal-ness (is that a real word?) in questioning procedures has reached other people, and they are in agreement, even if they aren't saying so aloud. Many people simply aren't as strong as you are, and aren't confident enough to give their true opinions. Stay strong and keep vocalizing your opinions until someone listens!
I agree about answering questions when asked and not taking things personally. Unless someone attacks me personally, I don't take it personally. Some people just aren't like that.
I will deinitely clear the air with the rest of the board so it doesn't interfere with future plans and relationships where we can't work together. That would just make the kids suffer.
It's nothing new that women working with women don't always work perfectly in harmony because you do have that conflict every now and then, or power struggle. But if we try to get along and see each others differences and stop being catty and childish and not take things too personally, then it will all work out. And you will see the way every persons unique talents and gifts could contribute, it could really make a harmonious group. But hey, that's again reverting to my perfect little world that only exists in my head! LOL.
Some people just don't like to be questioned! It's amazing...when someone comes to me with a question about procedure, I'll simply explain it to them, and show them how it's worded in either our by laws or standing rules, procedure book, etc. It's never taken personally! I only take things personally if someone comes to me and says "Why did YOU do this?" It would probably be beneficial for you to have someone there from the county (a liason) to clear up procedures that have questions. It's a shame that your PTA has willing and able parents that are willing to lend a hand and offer support but they are too focused on personal reasons to allow for that. What will your PTA do when those in office now are long gone if they don't train others to do the job? Some people really do need to feel needed...
And it would be a good idea for you and the current president (no one else) to sit down and work things out between the two of you. She needs to see that you don't have a personal vendetta against her, that you're truly just interested in serving your child's school to the best capacity that you can. Who can find fault with that?
It can be such a double edged sword, people don't want to admit that a PTA/PTO/Parent group is a clique, but it's silly to not agree with that label. All are (supposed to) be encouraged to join, but when a board has been established, there is a comfort level there...meaning you know who's who and what you can count on them for. And generally speaking, it's easier to ask someone that you know for help than for a parent that you don't have a "history" with. And heaven forbit there's a "personality conflict"...Generally speaking, (and I'll probably get in trouble for saying this)...I find that it can be difficult to work with a group of women! Everyone wants to be in control, and they can be so darn competitive! (And don't EVEN get me started with the "catty-ness!)
May the force be with you, girl. You're doing the right thing. Just hold your head up high and smile!
