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current pto president control freak

17 years 2 months ago #136184 by mama fisher
Replied by mama fisher on topic RE: current pto president control freak
Thank you for the wonderful suggestions. As for how she became the president, she was for 4 yrs. the volunteer coord. Then as the old presidents son left the school the pres. spot was open along with vice pres. position. She was the only one on the board who wanted it and after all was said and done she got the position.The sad thing is that the old president was similar to her and her control issues and the two of them always butted heads when it came to the PTO and how things should run.
As for other members of the board, there is the secretary and the treasurer and they are very passive people who seem almost relieved that she is so,well,controlling. She has always been the parent who is involved in everything at the school and she truley has been great help for the teachers but now it's like she runs the school. Our bylaw don't have anything about removal and the principal did suggest fixing the loop holes this year. I am rallying up parents to join together in speaking up at the first meeting but so many know her and are intimidated by her that they feel it's useless. I'm not giving up just yet and I have a feeling that neither is she.
17 years 2 months ago #136181 by mama fisher
Replied by mama fisher on topic RE: current pto president control freak
I just read this and knew I was at this meeting way to many times in my life. Was one of those new parents who made suggestions with the only intention of 'being involved' only to be crushed by the control freak and unsupported by the rest of the officers when in a meeting. First of all - thank you for turning here. Luv & CC (as well as many others here) are great champions and have wonderful insight. Second - each and every officer needs to get their big girl pants on and decide what the course of action is going to be and stick to it. Third - when a good ideas come to the table speak up, discuss the idea and show your support or concerns - do not sit quietly by while the parent member is dismantled. Finally - you will not get those new parents to another meeting (or volunteer for a function) unless they are personally invited by noncontrolling members and the train wreck is discussed with them. Something tells me the event you have described has happened more than once and perception has been not been in the organizations favor for some time due to this person.
17 years 2 months ago #136171 by CrewChief
Seriously, the president got so out of control that the principal had to reign her in? She's the presiding officer ~ the one who's supposed to be keeping everything and everyone else under control. If she's unable to do so, the remaining board members need to step up and take control of the meeting.

How is it that she became president just because someone else's child left the school? Was she the VP and, therefore, obligated to finish out the term?

I agree with LUV that you have two challenges:

1. Revise your bylaws to close up loopholes. If they're loose enough to be open to interpretation at meetings then they aren't really doing the job bylaws are intended to do. Bylaws are rules, not suggestions.

2. Decide if new leadership is the best thing for the group. If the majority of the membership feels the team would be better served with a new leader, check into what is required to remove the current officer and elect a new one.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

"The ultimate aim of karate lies not in victory or defeat but in the true perfection of one's character."
17 years 2 months ago #136162 by LUVMYKIDS
How about recommending the formation of a bylaw committee-old parents and new parents included. Their job would be to go through the current set of bylaws and redraft them in such a way that there is little room for misinterpretation.

If the situation is as you state, it sounds like the parents need to get control of the group from this one person. She is ONE person, you know, and if the majority of parents want things done differently, there are ways to affect change. What do your bylaws say about removal of an officer? Are there other board members? What are they doing? Has anyone spoken to your President about her behavior and the perceptions people have of the group? Having ONE person in control of a group can only happen if the members let it happen.

Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.
17 years 2 months ago #136128 by mama fisher
current pto president control freak was created by mama fisher
We need some advise. Our current pres. is such a control freak. It's to the point that she reads the bylaws with her own interpretation. She has chased away several new parents last year for fear that they might have an idea that she couldn't take credit for. We have went to the board of education with our concerns and they basicly said they can't have say in the matter because it's an organization. At our last meeting of the year, she knew that the bylaws were in question and several parents ,who were shoved away basicly at earlier meetings, showed up. She brought the last president, who's place she took because her child left the school, show up at the meeting and let's just say all holy heck broke loose when the bylaws were brought up. The new president and the old one were totally out of control. It got so bad that the two of them were screaming at the parents who were of course in awh of the whole thing.They both were defending the bylaws from their own beliefs and when proof of other bylaws from the surrounding areas schools was brought up that's when they lost it to the point that the principal had finally decided to step in and calm them down.This pto is and has been a very tight nit one for several years and finally new parents got a chance to be a part and it has been a living nightmare. The new parents really aren't there to change everything but they do want to make suggestions and would like to be a part of their childrens school.There is sooo much more to tell but we would be hear all night. Please, do you have any suggestions?
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