Well,tonight was the meeting about creating a bylaw commitee and unfortunitly I was unable to attend.(sick baby) I just heard that only 4 people even knew that it was being held tonight. What the president and principal decided ,amongest themselves,was that we will make up a bylaw commitee and it will consist of any pto parent member and two people ,from outside of the school, to head it. Now let me tell you that this once again seems like a control thing and the most annoying thing of the whole idea is the 2 outside people that the pres. wants to put in charge are none other than the two woman that came to the last years meeting and all holy heck broke loose when parents brought up the presidents miss interpritation of the bylaws. I am so upset that once again she is controlling the whole purpose of a bylaw commitee and knows that the board will be the ones who votes the new laws into effect. There are only 2 people on the board that have not been afraid to speak-up to this woman. My question is, is it fair to pull in outsiders(who have no children or involvement at the school) to head this new commitee? If it's up to the pto board to vote the new laws in then of coarse there will be no new laws because only two members are willing to vote for whats right.
I understand your problem. When I became involved in school and the PTO we had extremely controlling Pres. and the whole group would not listen to any new ideas. I did not give up and kept on coming to the meetings and making suggestions. As time went on other people started to see that every suggestions that was made by me or someone else was never taken into concerderation and they started to question them. I became a Board Member and the first two years I would come home and cry to my husband of how awful the Pres. was treating me and I hate it evey minute of it. They would ask me to basically do busy work while they made all descions. I would find out at the meetings along with the general membership about new things that have been set up. I stuck with this for two years and I'm proud to say the I am the current PTO Pres. and we have more helpers and attendence at the meeting that ever before.
I make sure we welcome new ideas and new members with respect and kindness. I guess the point to this is that stick with it no matter how hard it gets, because you can change things. If you have other parents who feel the same way that you do make sure to encourage them to speak up and get invloved. My husband always told me that one day you will be the Pres. and with his encouregment and support I'm here. He also told me " walk softly and carry and big stick". I didn't disrespect anyone along the way I just made sure I was heard and present at all times.
I also am wondering if it is ok to send out a type of survey to all the parents on their views about the discrepancies? Last year I asked the pres. if we could do something like that and her reply was that she didn't feel it was necessary. Do I need her permission?
I have not even considered the possibility of another break out. We had our first meeting last week and she let members know ahead of time that we were not going to get to the issues about the bylaws at the first meeting so it was not brought up by any of the parents but the principal did ask if we were going to attend to the issues of the last meeting and she said not at this time. Personally, a hand full of us think that she is just putting it off in hopes that we go away.Does anyone know if we can vote in a bylaw committee and make it happen for this school year? We also would like to suggest that we open up other positions that will make things run a whole lot smoother such as a carnival committee, a bakesale committe, bookfair committee and so on but I'm afaid that she will say that it won't happen this year and it truely needs to be done. Can it be done with out waiting till the end of the year at election time?
Don't try and get a possee to confront her. Apparently, she will cause a scene rather than conduct herself in a professional manner. Bylaws should be clearly written and if they are not and are open to interpretation, then they should be revised. A committee should be formed early on in the school year since you need to announce the vote on the new drafts, then vote on them at a meeting---one by one. Some may pass and others may not, but its worth a try. Since you have the principal that side with making clarifications, that's good.
At your next meeting, simply ask to chair the committee to revise and clarify the bylaws in light of the recent disagreement on the interpretation of some passages. Others attending would need to volunteer to be a part of the committee. If she insists on being a member of the committee, she cannot overrule and only put her ideas in. The majority of the committee would rule and those ideas put to a vote at the advertised meeting. 2/3 vote would change, add or delete an item within the bylaws.
Unfortunately, no one else stepped up to run against this person and you are stuck with her. Parents need to realize that if they want a PTO that is open to new suggestions, welcoming to new members and pleased at parent involvement, they need to run & elect a person that represents that.
It's a sad fact that many groups end up with people serving as leaders who simply want to be in control and that many times it's easy for them to step in and take it because there is no one else willing to take on the job. Good luck with your quest for more member involvement and control. An organization does its' best work when everyone involved has a voice and a choice and work together for a common goal.
When you're rallying those other parents and one of them voices their concern about being intimidated by her, tell them that this is their child's school too and then ask them if they really want that one person deciding what is best for their child. That should get at least some them stirred up for action!
