I feel your pain--in fact, I came on line because we're having similar problems with a trio in our school--one is a former HSA president (our version of PTO) and major event chairperson, one is a board member and one started as VP and dropped. . what we've discovered is that all three of them have agendas that they've used their positions (or tried to use their positions) to further their causes--all of which are very personal, very nasty, and very vindictive and have nothing to do with our school--though they've tried to create issues that weren't there to bring the drama into school. They've caused scenes at meetings--just to put people on the spot and be rude, or get people to say things to validate their positions. They managed to embarrass themselves even at a school fundraiser, caused a scene, and they've since tried to claim they were the victims. And, sadly, those who weren't there, or weren't seated up front to understand WHY the pastor had to tell them to settle down (they were rowdy and loud when he was talking) and show respect to the speakers, have shown them pity. While our principal and pastor have both been victimized by them as well--there's really nothing we can do to keep them out of the school. They can't punish the kids by kicking them out (and none of us want that--though they've tried to do this to others themselves) and we can't stop them from participating in school activities. And the PTO members they create drama for? All of us have had to be treated medically this year for stress-related ailments. As president, I've tried to make sure to deal with them professionally. . they THRIVE on drama, though, and even quiet conversations of any kind just get twisted and repeated back so that those of us who are trying to keep the school families unified because they just cause more disension and create problems where none existed before.
The problem we have is they buddy up with a number of people who think they're just sooo nice and don't understand why the rest of us dislike them (or avoid them). Two of these women in particular are dangerous. With one, the only difference between her and a predatory reptile is she'll be your friend first, before she strikes. She has no boundaries--she's flirts inappropriately with ALL of the fathers--including those who are married. She's loud and has to be the center of attention EVERYWHERE--even on a field trip or in a meeting--unless you call her out to recognize her for something she did good--then she gets upset:confused: . The other can be downright vicious if she doesn't like you--to the point that she'll refer to children whose parents she doesn't like by vulgar terms or just be rude to them:eek: . Unfortunately, she's never been caught by any one in authority, like a teacher or administrator, and she's denied it when it's reported so it becomes here-say.
No one seems to be able to stop them and it's ruining and dividing our school. Our incoming president is one of the ones that they LOVE to attack for reasons, again, that have nothing to do with our school--and she's just downright frustrated to the point that she's almost resigned every other week.
I had a call from one mom I was once friends with last week crying about how the school is so divided and blaming ME because she heard, from someone (and we suspect it's them), that I wasn't defending what a good job she did on a major fundraiser when someone else was offering a different opinion. She shouted about how everyone is leaving the school because it's divided--and blaming everyone but them. After I talked to her for awhile, and hopefully convinced her that I thought she did a great job, no one was trashing her, they just had strong opinions, that I talked to them privately about what I didn't agree with, etc. . I ended the call and felt like--why do I bother anymore? No matter what I say or do--because of these three and their desire to play games and create drama where it doesn't belong, this school is hurting. And the kicker: After telling all the other parents how bad this school is going to be with the incoming board and getting people to reconsider registering their kids--THE ONE WHO CAUSES THE MOST DRAMA RE-REGISTERED. If she's that unhappy, feels that victimized, is calling for the priest to PUBLICALLY apologize to her when he did nothing wrong and she kept taunting him at an event, feels the incoming board is a joke, hates the teachers and school policies, etc. . .why is she coming back? What trouble is she looking to cause? It's never ending. . .
Believe me, I feel your pain. We've tried everything--including just being professional and IGNORING. It still doesn't work. . .they find something new everyday. My incoming president and myself actually will avoid any calls from the one mom because we know she's looking to create drama--even if her message is seemingly innocent--it never is. Once she gets you on the phone, she'll ask the easy question, then launch into an attack in which she stars as the victim and we're the bad guys--even if the decision itself has NOTHING to do with her. If anyone knows of any policies that could be applied to get them removed from participation. . .let me know.
