Lots of good tips from the other posters and I agree that you need to politely ask some questions about how to get involved. Maybe you could offer your services in getting a volunteer program going. There are probably other parents out there just like you. In the mean time, have you approached your child's teacher about helping in the classroom? That is sometimes the best place to start if you want to get involved in the school.
I can definitely understand your frustration Dawn.
Some questions first...
Do you know if this group is independant? If so then they likely have Bylaws. If not, then they probably fall under the school, and ultimately the Principal's control.
If there are Bylaws the tough question would be who has them and what it would take to get a copy. What is the requirements for being a "member" of this group? For example, is everyone automatically a member or do you have to pay dues?
It seems as though the lead officer is controlling her little click. Maybe try talking with some of the other members and ask innocent questions, such as "why don't you guys have meeting?", "What do I need to do to become a member?", is there any place where I can fill a need?".
Worse comes to worse, then is it possible to wait her out? Meaning, how old is this lead officer's child and how old is yours? Will she be gone next year, or will she be around for a while.
Depending on the situation you might be able to try to start your own group. You could even front it as a "dads" group, with your husband acting as a figure head. The point here would be to try to establish a new, functional group that the Principal would be willing to allow and then making it so successful that it can either incorporate the existing group, or change into one.
Now here is the last resort. If you can't get anywhere with this clicky group, and you're having no luch with the Principal, you may need to move up the chain. Likely the Principal reports to a Superintendant of Schools or a Town School Council. Contacting these groups about the situation would be a last resort, but would definitely get a reaction. I've even heard of a situation where a parent ran for, and was elected to the town's School Council because they wanted to be involved and the parent group was not letting them.
Hi Dawn - there are many on this board who have been in those very same shoes. One question to ask yourself is if they are the only way to be involved and will it be the most positive for you at this moment? Many take the cold shoulder as a challange and many choose another avenue of volunteering - I've seen both and have done both. First couple of years was very active. Once the shinny new smell wore off and true intentions of some were revealed it was another story and many parents switched to helping in the classrooms. Both choices of volunteering are rewarding but you have to know how much you want to go through ... politics is not for everyone and unfortunately it will play a part with the organization. Take your time, look at the pros and cons as it relays to your life & happiness and keep in touch.
I am very frustrated and looking for help to figure out what someone else would do in my situation. My family and I are new to the area, and this will be our first full year at our school. I am a stay at home mom whom really wants to be involved in the PTO. I signed up, introduced my self to the Lead Officer, whom told me 'they wouldn't need any help until the 'Family Fun Night' in the Spring.' Which defeats the purpose of having a PTO, she told me that they don't hold meetings. I have spoken to the principle who seemed to stick up for the 'Lead Officer,' and is very passive or non caring as I would put it. Since coming to the school I have heard nothing but complaining about not having Parent Involvement, but no one seems to want to let the parents get involved. I believe that the principle hand picked these officers himself, as they all seem to work at the school, and are parents. I feel as if I am not good enough, as they seem to have their own little 'Click.' Can anyone help me figure out what to do?? I am torn, part of me wants to drop it and walk away. Then there is part of me that wants to complain to everyone as to why this school, which is only 6 years old does have parent involvement. They blame it on low income families. Not once in the 5 weeks that school has been in session have I heard anything about joining the PTO, but there is a fundraiser in the works. How does that work without a comittee of parents??? Should I stand up and fight to find the answer? Or should I just walk away??
Totally Frustrated, Dawn
