1. You believe in Santa Claus.
2. You Don't believe in Santa Claus.
3. You are Santa Claurs.
4. You look like Santa Claus.
Success:
At age 4 success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is...having friends.
At age 16 success is...having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is...having money.
At age 50 success is...having money.
At age 70 success is...having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is...having friends.
At age 80 success is...not peeing in your pants.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; but never forget the blessings that come each day.
Have A Wonderful Day With Many Smiles.
Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short, Dance naked!!!
Here's some more funnies.(My Dad emails me these things)
Great Truths That Children Have Learned:
1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. Never ask your 3 yr. old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Never hold a dust-buster and a cat at the same time.
8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
Great Truths That Adults Have Learned:
1. Raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don't hurt.
3. Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
Great Truths About Growing Old:
1. Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5. It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
Shawn- what's up with these idiot judges? They are every where. It's like they put on a robe and their common sense goes right out the window.
d- poor you and your pup.
My husband was out weed-whacking and scared my basset(who was inside) and well, he pees when he's nervous. Unfortunately my dog is a bit shy and timid. My crew went fishing and caught a bunch of blue gills and a 14" bass(with a scooby doo fishing pole and fake worm) so my husband holds a blue gill for the dog to check out, well, he tried to take off with it. He didn't want ot give it up. Yet he is afaid of his own shadow.
I caught that rabbi show the other day and what a hoot! I really felt good about myself and the kids! Then I turned on Dr. Phil and should have left good enough alone when I had a chance!
Gas just went up to $2.71 and my trip to Iowa has been officaly cancelled. I wanna go home (miss my mom) but there is just now way. ugh.
hey d, your puppy story reminded me of my little brother and the first time he pee'd outside. It took 15 minutes for my sister and i to stop laughing long enough to tell mom why our bro was crying and didn't want to go outside! He'll be 30 in October adn still doesn't like to pee outside!!
