I just moved to a new school district in February. I went to the first meeting and you could tell, they were used to doing everything themselves. But being the person I am I showed up for everything, voiced my opinion and one month later, they realized I was an asset. What I am trying to say is get involved even when they don't ask you to, most smaller pta's are just used to doing everything themselves and get tired of asking for help with no re pore. I haven't met a group yet who turns away active help. However change is hard for some but with the right smiles and gestures it always works out. Lots of luck!!!

~Amanda

Great post ptrrabit!

Moved and Shaken hang in there and just keep going. I have been at this for going on 10 years now.. it took us 8 years just to get actual meetings and then the "clique" managed to stand tall and shew good help away. There were a few of us that kept going to all events and going to all meetings and watched as they manged to run everyone away and now have no help and turned out spring fundraiser into the biggest loss ever and even when I offered to help they refused and then complained no one would help. I was running late for the May meeting and received a text to see if I was still coming. Of course I was but again was running late and when i showed up it was again our "officers" (only 2 ladies a president and treasurer) me and one other lady that was at almost every meeting. We received the treasure report (our financials written on notebook paper and copied) and then they talked about what they were NOT going to do for teacher appreciation week that was that week and if we wanted to go get meat and cheese trays for the teachers that was fine but they couldn't they were too busy.. then finally they asked do you two want to take over because we are not going to do it next year just too much work and no one wants to help.. Oh and all the dates need to be set immediately for the fundraiser people that keep calling, the skating rink and so on and so on.... We both immediately said YES and now we are struggling to get the information from them because i want the financials looked at by someone prior to us taking it on. Moral of the story don't let the bullies get the best of you hang in there and keep you chin up!! you have the power over them just don't back down just keep volunteering because when you stop they win!! Don't let them win!! Just keep letting them know you are there no matter what... Good luck!!

this is all good stuff. wish i had found this resource earlier.

it's too late for our family as we are so done with the toxic atmosphere we are gettin out of there. but it's good to know if we get this same treatment again. the clique keeps complaining about how no one will step up but i think they don't really want for anyone to step up... i think they are enjoying their power and try to sound like they want participation but they are very good at rebuffing anyone who ventures near. other volunteers not in their clique have told me they show up to help at events and are not given anything to do so they stand around feeling dumb and then leave. there was one person who had lots of experience and she knew how to make people feel like they were included but she got tired of their games too and left. the pto bullies have a really good gig going on, and they are not going to give it up.