I agree, there are many rules you can play in your child's school-- and I am on hte board and have had those bad days, where not meaning to, I have come across rather rude-- or disinterested-- but that truly wasn't the case-- I had a milliion things on my mind and didn't realize until later how what was done in a pto room made a few parents feel unwelcome since they weren't welcomed with open arms at the moment they walked in-- First Impressions do mean a lot-- I learned that first hand-- talk to the board member again and see if there is anything that can be done at home or in the afternoon-- there's always something...

Marylynn,

Another route that you can try to go is to investigate what programs are presently being run at the school, by the PTO, and what is not. Find a good one that is not being utilized, such as BoxTop$ for Education or something like that. Obtain the information that is available on the web, then approach the President, but with the idea of taking on this one new program. This way your time is being utilized, you get to play a key role, you get to show/prove to her your value, and you get to make a difference.

For example, our BoxTop$ program has thus far this school year brought in over $3000, so something like this would be, or at least should be, very appreciated by the current board/members.

Good luck,
PresidentJim

Marylynn8;141490 wrote: When I went up to the PTO prez at my son's school to inform her I would like to help more with the PTO in the Parent Center and that I was available after 11:30 as I am an am preschool teacher, she point blank told me that she and the other parents did most of the work in the morning. She said I could look on the white board for when they needed help or wait for flyers to go home. Why would they not want help? Can they just turn a parent away like that? I am just as much a member, am I not?

Maybe I can provide a different perspective, with the caveat that I do feel that the way you were responded to is too bad. I hope you don't give up on getting involved.

This leader you asked is just a mom like you. I bet she wants help (and more involvement) and doesn't realize what kind of message she gave with her response. Maybe she's insanely busy this week. Or had a really bad morning. or maybe the last 5 potential volunteers who started with her really let her down or didn't come through.

Or maybe she has no/few natural abilities at being welcoming or hospitable. You know how there are some people who are amazing/natural hosts? They make you feel welcome all the time? They listen to all your updates and it seems they really do want to know all about your third child's second-grade spelling bee? They hang on your (and everyone else's) words and make you feel great? Maybe this president doesn't have that gene.

She's also a volunteer and i bet she's trying her best and giving a lot of herself to make the school better. I hope you won't write her off or give up your volunteering interest because of this interaction.

Rather than thinking about becoming the next officer and drumming her out, how about sticking at it and getting involved despite this first interaction (it may take some doing on your part) and then making it one of your goals to subtly and steadily help the group become better at welcoming new volunteers. Especially if you do have that gene. Or if you don't have it, maybe you can help someone who does get in that role.

A ton of the best officers I've met had this kind of first experience. It can be frustrating, but I'd wager this person didn't intentionally try and send you packing.

Please don't go packing. Your sticking at it will be great for your child and for the school.

Tim

Luv is right Mary ... go to the teacher(s) of your child(ren), let them know you are available and at what times. It may take a day or so but as a teacher yourself you know when a parent offers to volunteer you take it. I can honestly say I now prefer working in the classrooms with the kids more.

I'm sorry to hear about your negative experience Marylynn. Unfortunately, there are many similar posts on this board.

It could be that truthfully most of the work is done in the morning before you are able to be there, and maybe the President just didn't use any tact when explaining that to you, thus your negative impression. It could also be that this group is a clique and they don't feel they want or need anyone else to help. If that's the case it's a sad thing and they have probably pushed away other parents too. What kind of image does the group have in the school? That may be the best way to know what exactly was meant by the President's comments to you.

As for resolving the issue and becoming more involved in your child's school, you can go in and check that white board and perform the duties listed and respond to all the flyers asking for help. You could also go directly to your child's teacher and offer your assistance with whatever she/he might need.(That would be my first step.) Hopefully the President and her group will see that you are serious about being involved and open up to you, but if they don't you will still be there doing what you can. I'd also keep politely reminding the President and the rest of the board/volunteer group that you are available and ready to help.

I hope that you can find a way to get involved, and maybe you should consider running for the board sometime and work to put together a volunteer program that is accessible to more parents. I'll bet there are others in your school just like you who would be happy to be involved but can't meet the morning requirements.

When I went up to the PTO prez at my son's school to inform her I would like to help more with the PTO in the Parent Center and that I was available after 11:30 as I am an am preschool teacher, she point blank told me that she and the other parents did most of the work in the morning. She said I could look on the white board for when they needed help or wait for flyers to go home. Why would they not want help? Can they just turn a parent away like that? I am just as much a member, am I not?