Ah yes, the PTO drama. I'm a 2nd year Prez, and have had lots of messes to clean up from the past PTO's drama queen Prez.

If your bylaws state that everything is voted upon, then your President isn't following her OWN bylaws & should be called out for it. If you've all voted on something, then that's the way it should be done. Just because she's the President doesn't mean she has the "it's my way or the highway" right.

I would definitely discuss this with your board at a private meeting, and I do like that others have said to include the Principal. I think he/she needs to see how things are being run.

Before I came aboard our PTO, our board members decided to air their "dirty laundry" at our official monthly meetings when parents were present -- not professional AT ALL!

I really hope this issue gets worked out because there's nothing worse than a board not getting along! Just remember that we're all here for you!

Good luck!

Thanks for all your advice....I would really like to take Shawn's suggestion, sounds like much more fun:D ! We have a board meeting on Monday so between now and then hopefully I will figure out the right thing to say to her. As of now she returns none of my phone calls or emails so come Monday she has no way to avoid me. It's sad when you are sick to your stomach over such a thing....

If you are feeling frustrated, maybe that is why others don't step up to help. Since it will take a while before you can vote her out, in the meantime, take notes. Anytime you have a discussion with her, take notes and then create a "to do" list from that. Before ending the discussion, repeat back to her what was discussed (recap of topics-no details), decisions and the to do's. Ask for her agreement or changes.
If she flip-flops on anything, you have it down in the notes and she verified that accurate notes were taken. After being "called out" on her change in plans, it make sink in how she is the problem and her communication skills are severly lacking!

sounds like the person might have some traits that adult female bullies have....search these boards under bully and you will find lots of book and web references for dealing with difficult people.

you cant change peoples behavoirs but you can change the way you see them, and once you understand their motives (usually root problem is low self esteem) you can learn to deal with their antics.

or just follow shawns advice. LOL

or tie yourleft wrsit togehter, get those military spongy batons, whack the snot out of each other, double elimination tournament and charge admission.

After all are exausted, etc - have a pleasant moderated chit chat.


You'll have gotten the frustration out, raised a little money, had a good family event and moved past your problems.

Tell her that. At the next meeting let her know that you think relationships have gotten off track on both a personal and professional level and that you'd like the "group" to get back to the business of creating good programs for the children. Perhaps invite the Principal to the meeting but there's no need to pussyfoot around the issues. If she takes offense - don't join in. Let her know that when told to proceed with a decision you make as a group, you respect the board enough to move forward. Any individual shouldn't be changing things without an open dialogue. If that doesn't seem to be the way she'd like to work things (sometimes it is easier to do it yourself) then let her know your unable to continue with your full support of the organization and perhaps there is someone more able to be on board with the way things are moving.

You don't need to be rude, or untoward or even unpleasant, but too you cannot get wrapped up in this "he said, she said" sort of stuff...if you listen to and act on gossip then you've fallen into that downward sucking motion that many PTOs get caught in...and frankly there's not way to come back up.

So decide now while it is early if you can broach her on this or if it is time for you to move on. If you don't like the drama you're in then move to another theater .

Good luck
d