You know I have to admit that I worry about this routinely. Not because anyone wants to, but because as CC said, sometimes you become privy to issues that you just don't mean to step into. Personally I have turned and walked away when I've seen the principal or ap doing their job with a child cause I just don't want to know. I thought mightily the other day when a good friend of mine had a son in tears in the front office for a school issue. Of course it was nothing huge, but I had to struggle with whether or not to call the mom and tell her what I'd seen. In the end, because I trust the system at our school I didn't call...in fact I left the office immediately and distanced myself from the details. It is a very fine line.
That maturity thing that we adults get credited so much with is sometimes not a label we deserve and in this case seemingly DO not deserve. I would personally, if I had good information, broach the INDIVIDUAL doing the talking. She/He is the one with the issue and his/her position as President gives her no absolution for poor behavior. I would treat her as any other parent that I felt were hurting my child and address her directly. But I'd do it in a manner that would bring the issue to light as a hurtful thing not as a gossip thing...and let them know that as adults we should expect more from ourselves...
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LuckyMom2 - I'm sorry for the injustice done to your son and to you. I believe you handled it well by talking with the principal and your son's counselor.
I agree with pals that the confidentiality issue is a staff concern. The principal should make it clear to everyone that it's their professional obligation to maintain privacy.
It's true too, though, that many PTO members are in the school so much that it's inevitable that confidential information becomes known to us. It may be a deliberate act or completely by accident. At that point, it becomes a PTO issue. Any PTO members who become privy to this type of information should act in the best interests of the child and his/her family and keep it from spreading any further. Many schools have a volunteer code of conduct that address this.
Yes, words hurt. And yes, most adults do realize this. From your post, it seems that you have general concerns about how the adults at your school behave outside of this one incident. Please remember that it wasn't the "PTO" that attacked your child. It was an individual who seems to be using her position within the PTO to gather and abuse information about the kids and families. Perhaps she isn't the right person to be leading this team. A new leader may bring a more positive attitude and help change the clique mentality they're working under right now. If elections are coming up, consider supporting candidates running against her. Or, consider taking on a board positon yourself to help change the culture from the inside.
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."
"The ultimate aim of karate lies not in victory or defeat but in the true perfection of one's character."
This is not a pto issue, confidentality is a staff issue, if your president is getting such info then the principal needs to address this. Yes you can say the president shouldn't say anything but the staff shouldn't be talking to any parent about students. shame on both of them! A few years ago we did a teacher survey and this was their number one concern when it came to volunteers in the school, I would even have someone point out to your president how much this can hurt that volunteer ablility in your school.
"When you stop learning you stop growing."
How do you feel about a PTO president gossiping about kids in the school? Confidential information has been leaked to the PTO president. She took it upon herself to distort and slander a child (and others) in the school. What do you do? I live in a very affluent area with corporate moms who decided to be stay at home moms. They use the PTO as their corporate board room and buy lavish gifts for the staff.
When I complained to the school about the slander, they called an emergency staff meeting (pto was not included) to discuss confidentiallity. I told my child's guidance counselor he was disgusted that the PTO president was lying about a child. I am still reeling from the invisible attack of the PTO on my child.
When I walked through the halls of the school, just last week, I heard them talking about another child "who has a problem".
Please Please advise on how to deal with this. This competition has to stop before a child is hurt beyond repair.
