You all might already be aware, or perhaps are surprised to hear, that relational bullying seems to be growing among boys too. As more and more focus is being placed on physical bullying and agression, boys are finding new ways to hurt each other.

The old, "stick and stones" addage just doesn't apply anymore. Words can hurt you.

you could suggest toyour principal or pto events coordinator, to host a bullying talk, geared at relational agression (in schoolgirls, but some adults never grow up) to learn about the topic, how it can and does hurt kids, including gossiping at any level.


I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult. Fran Lebowitz

dont know who said it: Silence is the air that bullying breathes, denial the water it drinks and passivity its sustenance.

good point above,,,,,gossiping IS a hallmark of female bullying tactics, and it is best to not tolerate it (especially if your child is the target of the gossip).

would be good to have a nice civil chat with the parent you THINK is gossiping about your child , and nip it in the bud. dont sit idly by and let that continue, and dont count on the admin to fix the problem. this is something you must handle and direct, calm, communication is the best way to make for understanding, get the facts, clear the air, and prevent further verbal abuses directed at your child.

What is also unfortunate is many times kids will model their behavior after their parents. When the parents are gossiping about other parents and kids, the kids begin to do the same. They begin to exclude people from their circle of friends, spread rumors and belittle others. Thus, bullies are born!
You cannot stop them from gossping, however, confronting her on the comments said may make her think twice about doing it again. Once confronted, she may realize that either someone didn't keep a "confidence" or other parents may pay her a visit as well! Just take the high road when you speak to her and make sure you know the facts of who said what (how you heard).

Wether someone opened their mouth or it was overheard, or seen she still shouldn't be gossiping. I would go to the principal and tell them you want it rectified. Not sure if I would approach the person directly if she is bad mouthing a child she might not be the type of person to handle face to face.

I know I have seen and heard many things at our school but I would never think of yammering about it all overtown. Our school also has a volunteer code of conduct and its forbidden.

good luck

Luckymom, Let me say how sorry I am that you and your child experienced such inappropriate and hurtful treatment! My heart just hurts for you!! As adults we are able to deal with such issues and understand they are no more than mean and petty, but to do it to a child is inexcuseable!!! Shame on whoever opened their mouths!
Its a sad lesson to learn, but we all learn it. There are some people in the world that who are mean and spiteful, and don't think of how their words or actions will affect others. Rise above it, teach your child that he is not defined by others heartless words. Hang in there!

~what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger~