Serendipity - The PTO Officers have finally gotten to the very same point,she does not want resolution, she is holding onto the anger and it continues to fuel her fire. These issues have been going on within the school for the last 3 years. First it was with Teachers, then the Principal and then the PTO. Patty - She does not feel the principal is unbiased so he is of no help when it comes to the resolution of this conflict. However, he has done this many times for others, just not this person.

The PTO did not want the nonsense, so they called for the meeting to resolve the PTO issues once and for all. The PTO has no control over her (they certainly realize that) and what she does at the school with the teachers and the principal.

Since membership is a "priviledge" and not a right as stated in the PTO bylaws the PTO Officers also stated in their letter that if she did not attend the meeting they would interpret that as her resignation.

The PTO bylaws do not have any language that addresses the removal of a member, only the removal of an officer. So she did not attend the meeting, or offer a different time/place for a meeting, and that was interpreted as her resignation.

She was removed from the committees she signed up for. Which in its self was odd, she only signed up for committees that were chaired by this one person. A person she does not like. The PTO felt that was a huge red flag for future PTO problems and was not going to tolerate it. The PTO is not the forum for people to hash out their personal agendas.

If you were to ask this person her side I am sure she would say she was kicked out of PTO, has been a victim of bullying and all she has to say goes on deaf ears. I even heard at one point she wanted to start another PTO within the school.

Our PTO is successful. They have huge turn outs at events, raise a ton of money, and always get the volunteers they need for any event. They do have low turnout at meetings but that does not bother them, their goal is not to have 100 people at the meetings (which are business meetings and boring) but to increase parent involvement. They are meeting their goals. The PTO receives much praise from the teachers, the staff, the principal and the Superintendent.

I guess what I want to know is how do you keep on going without quitting? The PTO Officers became friends and draw strength from each other and then this person turns this around and says they are a mean group of soriety sisters, a clique. No matter what you do you are going to offend her. Hello, we are all volunteers.

I love my children dearly but I think in the long run this is hurting them more than helping. They know I often talk about a wack job. They ask me who is the wacky lady? Of course I do not tell them. They see the meanness of this parent and don't understand. I do my best to stay positive and use her as an example of how not to do things.

Thanks for letting me vent, this is weighing heavy on me. It seems there are many people out there like this. Any advise is welcome.

playing games......remember "Believe nothing merely because you have been told it." Buddhist aphorism.

games -- if youre at a loss of what to do, thats what managers are for. talk to your head of school, people manangement is their job.

serendipity - you hit the nail on the head, one can only control oneself.
Elie Wiesel said it well: "Ultimately, the only power to which man should aspire is that which he exercises over himself."

PlayingGames... I would think at this point meeting with this person would solve nothing. It would appear this person does not want a resolution and would rather just continue to run around and stir up problems. People like this typically regarded as a loon, which is exactly what they did in your case. Just because someone is a adult does not mean they behave like an adult. You tried to resolve the matter, they were not interested and there is not much more you can do. You tried & now all you can do is move ahead and not worry about what she is saying, especially since as you noted no one takes her seriously anymore.

Also sometimes there is seriously a matter of mental instability. Which may or may not be the case with the parent causing your problems. In our past we had to deal with one such parent who had mental issues. You never knew on a day to day basis what you were going to see from this person. She was also on medication which she sometimes took, sometimes didn't, & sometimes took too much of. The bottom line though was that she was always irrational and nothing anyone said or did to appease her was going to make her behavior any different.

We too have a similar problem between a PTO member and the PTO Officers. There were many complaints about this one member and the PTO Officers wanted to resolve the issues and put an end to the games she was playing.

Well, the officers wrote her a letter which outlined the topics they wanted to discuss with her and she never made the meeting, nor did she offer an alternative meeting date. She claimed the officers were bulllying her.

This person has gone on to slander the PTO in e-mails and do whatever she can to discredit the PTO. The PTO's response has been to not communicate with her until she meets with them to disuss the problems. Her efforts to discredit the PTO have proven useless. She continues to embarrass herself day after day with ridiculous requests and accusations. No one takes her seroiusly anymore, not the teachers, not the principal or the BOE.

Sometimes even the best of intentions are not enough. How do you get difficult members to at least meet with you to discuss issues?