Hi all,
I am new here. I am just a member not the actual prez..but we have the same problem. This person is the ex prez's wife. They had a core group of 3 couples that basically ran the meetings and the whole group. My daughter is in 1st grade and so was my first year last year. I tried to get involved since I am basically a stay at home mom. They didn't make anyone feel welcome. You had an idea and they acted like nothing was said. So we voted them out. The group was very successful in raising funds and had over $12,000.00 in the account. This year they are not willing to help out and give us ideas on what was done in the previous years so we at least know where to start.The major proplem is this year the "wife" is acting like the $$ is hers and is negative about almost everything that is brought up where it involves spending some of the money. She is a very negative person in a group that is trying to start over and we are trying to get more people involved and trying to make it a fun place to come and try to make the school better for our kids.....
Thanks for the ideas and sorry for the long vent!!!
I agree with C Brooks, I know when I first started running our group I would see the old President watching and I was thinking that she was judging me, after a year I asked her if she wanted to volunteer! Now we talk every time we see each other...
"When you stop learning you stop growing."
I tend to agree with mykidsmom, as usual (cause I sure woudln't want to be on her bad side. [img]tongue.gif[/img] )
Perhaps this woman is a little jealous of the things you are doing and wishes she could of done that good. You could ask her what she would do in that situation and call for a vote or tell her she is taking up time with her pettiness and you would like to stick with the business on hand. And smile REALLY big while you are saying that.
I too have a parent that totally dislikes me and she doesn't care to show it. No love loss. She has shanghied a a couple of meetings and I felt her actions were inappropriate. Then there was an issue of an event she wanted that no one else wanted. I finally told her that I would put that on the next agenda. I did. I was nervous as a cat. She brought up the event, no one seconded. I explained to her that according to Robert's Rules that meant her motion was dead and we couldn't go any further and she was very nice about it. But I saw her at another event and she wouldn't even smile at me. Oh well. The most we can do is try to be the better person and not stoop to someone else's low levels. If she wants to be involved I do not want to stop her because she has kids too. But we do have rules and hopefully social graces to follow.
It is easy to get caught up in the pettiness. But I've learned from experience that looking at the big picture is the way to go. I feel alot better about things too. I don't think my foot stays in my mouth as much. I still need to work on a few things though.
Complain about your president tactics??? What??? I would personally address this person and inform them that this is the freaking PTO!!! You are VOLUNTEERING your time to do what she gave up howevever many years ago. No one does everything the same way, but I bet it's getting done, right?? The next time she started at a meeting I would say, "Your concerns sound like a personal matter and I would be happy to discuss them one-on-one after the meeting." and MOVE on. Sounds like she needs to!! I am so tired of this type of person. I mean really, there are so many other more important things than how someone handles the "role" as PTO president. As long as things are getting done and nothing is going terribly wrong, who cares!!!
You could ask for her advice and then tell her to put her money where her mouth is and help out instead of complaining!! You have no idea how much this petty stuff aggravates me!!
Talking to her would be the ladylike way to handle it....handing her the gavel and telling her where to use it is kinda what you would rather do?! :eek:
When parents stop coming because of the personal conflicts that arise are when there is a problem, well yeah, including the fact that you have to sit throught this!
I "handled" my bully by asking for help/re-enforcment from the school's staff. One of the members of Administration came to a meeting to see what I was talking about, she reported back confirming the situation, the issue was discussed and for the rest of the year there was a member of Administration present. Yeah, this was a lot and kinda a pain but she backed down from me and turned her attention to the Admin of the school and how THEY were babysitting her. Never accured to her that I called first! This was four years ago and she is still an active member but we now agree to disagree (I want a schedual for picture day and she doesn't, hhhmmmmmm ). Eventually I did earn her respect and that is what this alll boils done to R E S P E C T
I kinda have a similiar situation, I had to fight to get the checkbook from my x-pres. I'm trying to be compassionate, I'm not sure how well I'm doing....
You understand how much work being the president is, how much of your time it takes, how much of your heart you put into it.
How will you feel when your done? and the next person comes in changes things you've set up, tries to improve on things that you thought were great? All that time on your hands, maybe even having to watch the new pres do a better job?
Every time my ex-pres sends a message though the grapevine, or says something at a meeting. I think about those things, and realize I'm doing a kick ass job (because I am) and it's probably not the most pleasent thing for her to watch.
who likes being one upped?
she is your cross to bare, as my x-pres is mine.
remember this, for when you are the X. Learn how to be resource and a cheerleader for your replacement. I have.
:eek:
