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Stressed out in Parent Involvement

19 years 7 months ago #111979 by kmamom
I hear ya! It takes so little to do so much -- I'll never be able to fathom why people don't understand you don't have to take on the weight of the world to just help out a little! The nay-sayers used to really get under my skin, but I'm beginning to let it roll off my back. When any of them start with their Monday Morning Quarterback talk or laughing as they say something just won't work I can usually pretend they didn't say it (though I'm dying to give two thumbs up to them while saying, "HEY--THANKS for the crappy attitude!" I've noticed these people tend to be the biggest whiners when they don't get their way and also seem to be "too busy with [fill in sport]."

With my group it's basically the same core group that helps and actually comes to meetings and runs events, though we do occasionally get a mix depending on schedules and sports' season. Our PTA is just limping along. The poor president gets NO help from her officers, and she works full time. The problem there is that people stake claims, then don't put themselves out or do a half-assed job--but take away their fiefdom? You'd have an easier time getting a dog to give up a bone.

Thank God for the good ones! We're having a fundraiser for our playground, and one of the moms is just amazing. She's been cruising around her office building when she gets a free moment and is collecting donations for an event. On top of that, she's bothering to take advantage of her company's matching donation program! We're looking at a possible $4,000 when all is said and done just from HER! Can you imagine if EVERY parent cared HALF as much? :eek:

[ 04-04-2005, 08:08 AM: Message edited by: kmamom ]
19 years 7 months ago #111978 by pam1500
You don't say how many events and programs your PTO currently runs. I agree with a number of things in the responses already posted; most of all I think that it's a fact that it's time, work, and effort to cull and manage volunteers. Maybe it shouldn't be that way, but I think it usually is.

If there's a general and serious lack of participation, you might want to try for an all-out volunteer drive (which needs time, work, and effort!) As another person already posted, point out that parental involvement does a lot! The PTA website has a lot about how it fosters community which in turn helps behavior, cuts down on bullying, etc. Maybe ask people why they don't volunteer? Ask what kinds of projects they could get behind. That 'Three4Me' program that was posted in another thread seems to recognize some of the realities of getting parental involvement going. I say: Challenge people, and see what happens.

Also be mindful that a bad volunteer experience can turn a person off for good, while a good one can make them 'lifetime' volunteers. I have answered at least one 'volunteer call', only to show up and find there was nothing for me to do! Big waste of my time. I answered another, for an event that was some months off, and on the phone the person seemed quite pleased to have a new volunteer. Then I saw that the event came and went and she never called me! She probably lost my number, but to me it just says that I wasn't really needed anyway. Try not to let that happen. Much as I love to be in the school, I will not get involved with those people again, and if they had been my only experiences, well...

Someone recently said to me "the PTO isn't run like a business. I try to remember that." True, but it doesn't have to be run like a business to be run pretty well, and inclusively. It's volunteer, not forced labor. People who want to be in charge of something, but don't have voice mail or have email addresses that go nowhere: all bad. I'm not saying that it's someone's job to ensure that all parents should have loads of fun helping out, but neither should a parent show up as asked and walk out thinking "there's an hour I won't get back", lol. Honestly, it's hard to see how people could NOT want to volunteer once they see how it makes a difference to their kids.

My 2 cents.

Three4Me program website: http://www.three4me.com./

PTA website: www.pta.org/aboutpta/index.asp
19 years 7 months ago #111977 by SHC
Replied by SHC on topic RE: Stressed out in Parent Involvement
We just sent out this long school survey and many parents who said they didn't volunteer liked to blame the fact that they work, which we all know does not preclude you from contributing in some way. So, now, when I'm looking for volunteers for something, I make a point of saying "good job for working parent" so they can see that they can, in fact, help out.

One little trick that I think does help in finding volunteers, if you're within a few weeks of the event: I type up a "Looking for volunteers" sheet and xerox it on bright paper (it must be a loose sheet, not stapled on to the school newsletter). Detail on the sheet exactly how you're looking for help i.e.: 2 hour shifts on Friday, April 9th from 8-10 a.m. or 10-12 noon, etc. People are 10 times more likely to fill this in and return it as opposed to just putting something in the school newsletter that says "call if you want to volunteer". They just won't call but, if they know the exact time commitment and the date, they are more likely to volunteer. Just my observation, for what it's worth!
shelly
19 years 7 months ago #111976 by substitute
Replied by substitute on topic RE: Stressed out in Parent Involvement
This year was a challenge to get volunteers for our PTO. I asked everyone to do just "one" thing to help out and that would help out tremendously. I got looks like I was nuts but in the long run it worked out. If you ask one person to do just one thing and don't ask them for a long time for help they really take you seriously.
When it boils down to it, most people want to be personally asked to be involved and if they say "no, maybe next time" you try them again the next time. Eventually they will ask if they will be asked again to volunteer and if you say "NO" only one time they may say yes.
19 years 7 months ago #111975 by C. Brooks
Replied by C. Brooks on topic RE: Stressed out in Parent Involvement
Keep talking, perhaps through the laughs you had a couple of them thinking "Hmmmm, maybe there is something to this parent involvement stuff." Don't expect other parents to be as gung ho as you are about it. I too share your passion and get very frustrated from time to time. Keep informing your parents about how important it is, what it means etc. Pitch out statistics everynow and then.

I've had parents come up to me telling me they wanted to be more involved but because of work or personal issues they just couldn't. These people were sincere. Parental involment is much more than setting up booths at Fall Festival. Many parents do not realize that. Reading a book to a child, helping with homework, or simply asking about the child's day goes a long way.

Another place you might can find help/advice is www.ncpie.org.
19 years 7 months ago #111974 by Lanette
Replied by Lanette on topic RE: Stressed out in Parent Involvement
I can feel for you. It's the same everywhere. We race dirtbikes & it is the same group of people that do everything, I just happen to be in that group also. My husband & I both hold board positions in our racing series in Texas & in our local dirt bike club that has 200 families as members. I am fortunate in my cub scout den, I am the leader but the parents are wonderful and really go the extra mile. But as far as the general public in my school it's a joke. We have almost 700 students in our school & for nominations for the 2005-06 board I got back 5 forms; 3 of whom are already board members & one of those is mine. It is very frustrating. We can't even get all of our board to show up to our meetings. I have learned a lot of things reading these forums & searching over the PTOresource sharing website and I'm hoping to be able to make some changes next year that will make parents want to be more involved. Hang in there, if it weren't for the few of us, the kiddos would really suffer.
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