I also have a special needs child. He has PDD(autism), ADHD, mild CP, and MR. I know how hard it can be. My son will turn 13 next month and it doesn't get any easier.
I am the pres. of the PTO and I know it would not be received well, if I ask for funds to send a teacher or teachers to a seminar on special ed. I have a hard enough time getting them to agree on paying for pizza for the 2 life skills classes that moved into the building this year. I have even had several parents comment to me that they don't feel these children should be in areas that the younger students can see them! Let alone go on a field trip with them! Some tend to forget that I have a special needs child! I try not to get angry with them though. It is just a lack of knowledge, so I always try to see it as an opportunity to educate them.
Anyway, I think the others have given great advice. Find out what seminars are available, websites that might give the teacher useful resourses or advice. The thing that I strongly recomend is....try not to put the person you are trying to make understand, on the defensive. This usually will get you nowhere. Try to compliment the person in some way or say thank you for any input or advice they may have given you (yes...even if you know it already). It is not always easy and you may have to bite your tongue or sit on your hands!
When I changed districts several years back, it was very difficult. The school district that I was leaving did a wonderful job providing services for him without me having to even ask for it! I had heard that the new district's special education program was not very good. So,I was prepared for a fight right from the start. I started working with the new district several months before he was to start at the new school. It was a difficult journey
The administrators were very nice. I did however have a problem with the school district's speech therapist.
We didn't get off to a very good start. At his old school he was receiving individual speech therapy, 3/40min. sessions each week. The new sp. therapist said she evaluated him and felt he only needed 2/30 min. group sessions. I was not happy with that and let it be known. How could she justify going from 3 one on one sessions to 2 group sessions. By law, the district was to provide him with the same services he was already receiving at the old school and if they couldn't, then they needed to send him to a district that could. I appealed the decision and they had a county agency come in and observe him. (this happened to be a supervisor from the same agency that helps employ the therapist) So you can guess who's side she stood on! Any way, I decided to let it go and just added another day of speech at the hospital. Her and I had a few more disagreements in the months following. It was to the point we did not speak to each other any more. I decided that I needed to do something about this because it was not helping my son in any way. I took baby steps to try and repair this relationship. One thing that really help was when I sent her a note saying thank you for sending me info. on a web site for stuttering and how useful it was for me. (even though I already had the site bookmarked on my computer
) This worked so well that she even started working with my son one on one an extra day each week! It has been almost 4 years now and we get along so well!! She was able to stop her defensive mode long enough to see that I was just not a pushy parent who thought my child should have every kind of service available, but as a parent who was knowledgable and active in the role of helping my child succeed and I, was able to stop and see that she was concerned and interested in helping my child overcome. We work together now to educate each other. She just informed me 2 wks. ago that this will be her last year. She is retiring. I am very sad to see her leave!
My point is that sometimes you may need to "suck up" in order to achieve your goal. I have had to do this so many times, that sometimes I make my self sick just listening to me
Believe me when I say I wish I didn't have to do it. It is a real shame that you have to play the "game" in order to get your child the services you need.
Also, make sure you follow the proper chain of command! The worse thing you could do is to go straight to the super. or board before you speak with your principle! Even if you know he is not going to agree with you! That way they can never say you didn't follow the proper channels. I have had to go all the way up to the school board to get services, but I never let our differences of opinion prevent me from having a friendly relationship with everyone on the way up the chain. They know I am just looking out for the best interests of my child and I know that it is almost never personal. Sometimes they have someone higher up making those decisions for them. They just happen to be the one that has to deliver it.
Well, enough of my babbling....
I hope I helped even a little? If you ever have a question on anything, just fire away. I have gotten to know the laws of special ed. fairly well. Although, every state is a little different.
Good Luck!