I joined the board last year because no one else was interested in doing it, and they needed two more people or there would be no group. No wonder people didn't want to do it. The Board was not the most inviting group I ever met. This year that board is out. No one was interested in running again. The new board turned out to be the absolute best people I have had the pleasure to know! We started a new PTO and our excitement will surely spread through our school...I just know it! Hang in there Mel, It will get better!
First off, try to remember why you are involved in the first place. So try to play nice, even if they don't seem to be the types you can do that with. Eventually, they end their terms and it can go either way.
As to why this happens, I believe that even us humans, are pack animals. We gather in comfortable groups with the occasional social butterflies. Sometimes these groups are welcoming and are happy to expand and others are territorial and feel threatened when anyone tries to enter but there are groupings just the same. Perhaps you can "suggest" a no-gossiping policy for members to implemented. (not that you are targeting any one person but to be a good example to the children and each other) or in situations of gossip that have targeted me in the past, I have confronted them (in a non-confrontational manner) for truth, with a witness of course, and as an adult, explain why this is hurtful and non-productive. Perhaps, they are even unaware of their actions. I have met bullies later in my life that had no idea that they ever were a bully. Draw attention to it in a constructive way to allow them to work on this issue. But stay positive and friendly at the same time. Like it's been said, kindness is contagious. I understand from your previous postings that you have tried to get in there, as Metzy suggested. It's unfortunate that they don't see your value as a leader but don't throw in the towel. If being a volunteer was easy, everyone would do it! [img]smile.gif[/img]
mel, if you let all those little knit picky things get to you then it turns into a BIG ball of yarn. Just think postive, it is just as catchy as nastiness.
In other words..
you gotta know when to hold'em
know when to fold'em
know when to walk away
(and in PTO world) know when to say "No, maybe next time."
Words I have learned watching Kenny Rogers perform and Grandpa playing cards, and somehow they work now as a volunteer. Believe me, I've seen and met the kind of "gals" you are talking about and I did what I did in JR and High School, walked away.
You will find youre niche and have a great time. Most important, THANK YOU FOR WANTING TO BE INVOLVED!!! yes...really!
You might want to rethink your position and attitude. I know that joining a group is hard and that there are millions of ideas that you will put up and they will shoot down. However... If the officers were elected in, someone must have liked them. Even the bad ones. You do not want to start out with a label that says you are difficult. If the group is not run well, then get in there, become part of the group, help out when and where you can. Hold your tongue and try to 'get along with' the people in charge of the group. It has been my experience that in this type of situation, you have to work from the inside out. You don't have to be friends with these people, but you do have to get along with them. Trust me, it will all come out in the wash. I know it is hard, but what goes around does come around, especially in a parent group.
My advice to you is to get in there, volunteer to help anywhere and everywhere. From there you can show others how it should be done, even if it is after the fact. Spend the year working hard and when elections come due, stand up and tell them you'd like the opportunity to serve as an officer. Lay out your plans. I'm pretty ballsy and would probably go so far as to explain that you need a leader, not high school gossippers (OMG! SOOOOO not a real word...lol...).
Anyway, check your attitude at the door and smile. Volunteer for everything you can and start on the road to your 'Group Recovery'.
i am new to the pto process and am rather shocked at how they are run, at least at my nephews school. i need help understanding the rumors and backstabbing that are running amok in the pto. i want to help as much as i can but am about ready to throw in the towel because i am not used to dealing with people that are my age (32) acting like they are still in high school. i am already at the point of telling the president that i will NOT deal with her and that if she has anything to say that she can just relay a message some other way than talking to me in person bacause of some things that have happened and how do you do that and still have a successful pto year?
