About the same people always being the ones to volunteer--you sound normal, and like you care, so I seriously doubt this is what's going on in your school (or the others), BUT, in the school my son attends, the PTA board very affectively manage to paint themselves in a corner. They totally disagree with this (YES, it was brought up to them in the hopes of making things better), but the truth is they just weren't welcoming and friendly, nor were they open to new ideas. "Sot in their ways," so to speak. When it was brought to their attention that they NEVER spoke to new people, especially the ones that came to a meeting (usually that person's one and only), the response was, "well THEY could have approached US you know!" Their reply was that anyone who felt they were being kept out by the clique they had garnered was being "childish." Needless to say, this attitude hardly calls people to help. Nor does IGNORING anything that has to be said if it's outside their agenda--most parents are of the mindset now that it's not even worth trying. I feel for the new PTA pres--she really got handed a crappy hand to play! She's got her work cut out for her, and we're hoping that being overwhelmed doesn't reduce her to acting like the previous board just to feel like she's in control!

ANYHOO--PTO Today has some great articles about getting people invovled, and has been promoting the idea of bringing people "up the ladder." I think this is a great philosophy. I've also found with my own group (we're almost like a booster's for my son's school right now), a lot of it is trying, trying, trying until you find the right way to get through to people. The "Black Hole" of volunteering really freaks a lot of people out--as Tim said at a PTO show, "not everyone is as crazy as you are, so expecting them to help is one thing, expecting them to be like you is another!" --or words to that effect. My group seems to be having better success with being specific with what we need help with.

I can only imagine how stressful it must be to have someone else controlling your money!

Thanks for posting guys!!!

I just get all worked up sometimes worrying about things I can't do anything about!!! I am hoping we get a good Principal and I guess I will just have to be patient while the new secretary learns the ropes!!! I absolutely hate our money being in their control and I don't even know them yet!!! Our Principal won't be anounced until July and I guess I will just make a special trip to school to meet him or her before our PTO meeting.

As for all my other activities, I guess I managed last year and will somehow do it again!! I just hope we did enough last year to bring parent confidence up and maybe we will have more volunteers. I don't understand why it always seems to be the same people volunteering over and over. I see it all over the Buletin Board with other PTO's too.

Good Luck to All of Us!!! :eek: :eek:

I don't!! ONLY KIDDING!

Michelle has it right--saying no is hard to do--BUT--it's gotta be done. I've found that saying "no": doesn't make you a bad person, it doesn't make you not a team player, and it gives you control over your life. Don't get me wrong--I'm not one of those "It's all about ME" people who rationalizes selfish behavior by saying you're entitled to say "no" all the time. That said, YOU have a right to be happy, and no one else has the right to take that away.

I too am one who HATES asking for help--I fear looking like I can't do things, I fear losing control to someone who can't do it, I fear looking like I'm too good to do something and am passing it off, and I fear having to "owe" people. Prioritizing is a definite. Lately housework and homecooked meals have "unfortunately" taken a back seat to researching potential donors for our playground fund. My friends and mentors in this parent group thing have been teaching me lessons, and I think the ones that affected me most had to do with: realizing that not being able to please everyone means you're going to be the "know it all," "power freak" or main source of gossip in some circles at least some of the time, and that saying "no" HAS to be done--as diplomatically and nicely as possible, but it DOES have to be said.

I myself have been having a VERY difficult time with juggling family, husband and my group's needs. Right now the family is taking a bit of a bumping down on the priority ladder because fundraising for the playground is hitting a critical time crunch phase. I figure once this part is over I go back to "normal." The pleasing people part when it comes to the group is killing me--because my first instinct when someone bitches about something is normally to have a pithy, caustic and sometimes sarcastic comeback to make them realize how selfish or stupid (YES, I say that word) they're being. Having to bite my tongue all the time is pushing my blood pressure to the max. Bertha has been wonderful in helping me calm the hell down and trust my decisions, and teaching me how to let things roll off my back!

When something is too much, it's hard to do, but you have to STEP BACK and look at what's REALLY important in the mix of things. Naturally, family is important, but you know what--I've found that as long as you don't take them for granted they don't ALWAYS have to come first. As far as the other groups go, that's a call only you can make. I looked at what took up the most time, and what I LIKED doing the most, and made my decisions based on that.

Again, as Michelle said, it's a growth process. It's OK to make mistakes as long as you learn from them and apply what you've learned. I found the naysayers are usually people you'll NEVER be able to make happy. They are people who, for whatever reasons, have control issues and are unable to move on past whatever is bothering them.

Isn't being involved fun? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

As hard as it may be, you have to cut something back. When I took on Council President, I was a den leader, Newsletter at the school, church activities chair and legislative captain for the American Cancer Society. I also took on TV Turnoff week and on top of that, I automatically serve as a member of the Board of Managers for State PTA. I also have a real, pays me to live, job, the husband, child and also a disabled mother who lives with me. I tried to keep it all but it was too much. I gave up the cub scouts leader (and only volunteer to help occasionally), newsletter (but took on a smaller job as a committee chair instead) dropped activities at church but took on a smaller job there. (one day of work a month, all phone). I'm still busy but not crazed! I say scale something back before you lose your mind. It will still be a bit crazy at first but as you get a little more comfortable with being President, it will settle down. don't be afraid to ask for help either (and I was one that would rather chew off my own arm than ask someone to help me out of a trap,) it's a growth experience.

been there, going through that. this has been the pto year from hell. I actually quit the other night as leader> My principal wouldn't talk to me until just now I put out the olive branch. She told me our problem was her and I got to personal, which looking back I agree. I have been the leader for 2 and a half years and the only one this group has seen. i have manage to get the greatest volunteers ever, they will go way beyond any goals we set. I have reached that burntout point many times, not because of volunteers but mostly the people you will never please(we all know them) what gets me through it? this forum, I can be so down and read something and here and die laughing. You know the non involved parent who complains that the sign isnt right? Advice? talk to other volunteers, delegate, visist the forum alot and hold you head up high!!Only you know how much you can handle=)

I have been a member at my school's PTO now for 2 going on 3 years now. I wrote bylaws, chaired the fall fundraiser, and helped out everywhere I could last year, and this year I was elected Pres for the comming up year and I feel totally overwhelmed!!! I had our books audited and found out we really need to get our own checking account (right now all our money goes through the school activity account). We are getting a new principal and secretary for the comming up year and I am really worried. I don't know how our new principal will feel about PTO, and now a new Secretary who will not know how to handle our finances? I am not sure I can do this job!!! I have 2 kids (girlscouts, karate, slumber parties), I am going to school to become a kindergarten teacher, and I have to be maid, wife, bookkeeper, etc... of my own home too. Does anyone have any advice on how to successfully be everything to everybody?? It seems like my family gets upset because of the time I put in to PTO, and I will never be able to make the teachers and parents in PTO happy either!! PTO bought a marquee for the school and it was put up this last week, I go to my dughters GS meeting (her leaders are teachers at school) they don't like where the sign was put, a parent calls me to tell me they don't like the logo. I don't know that I can handle another Fall Fundraiser while I'm in school too. I know I have more people involved for next year than we had the year before, but what if someone agrees to chair the fundraiser and then quits?? It happened last year, that's how I got involved. I am a very very controling person, I admit it, I couldn't just say "well, no fundraiser then". I am frustrated and scared. How do you guys handle all the responsibility?? :confused: