1. Make sure your secretary records the meeting, preferably with a tape recorder.
2. Make sure they know they are being recorded, whether by machine or by pen.
3. Make sure they understand that your group works as just that, A GROUP, and that while you are the people at the meeting, that you represent the parents of your school and will report to them the goings on in the meeting.
4. Make sure that the entire board is together. I had a veep that took every opportunity to speak her own mind and it never agreed with what we had decided as a group. This can be dangerous.
5. Remember my Grandmother and her saying: You will catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
6. Get all agreements in writing.
7. Get all disagreements in writing.
8. When you speak, keep eye contact going around the room.
9. Never let them see you sweat.
10. Regardless of the outcome, shake everyone's hand, look them in the eye, say Thank You.
Thank you all so much!! We officers have been invited to a meeting with the staff and a school mediator at the end of the month. We did request the meeting to be held at our school and open to the PTO members, that request was denied! We are meeting at the mediators office and only the PTO officers are invited. I have every intention of working together!! Thats why I volunteer!! But I can't help but feel this is not going to be a meeting about working together! I think it's going to be a meeting to rip us apart! But don't worry no matter how it goes I will smile and move on to other events reminding us all we are PTO members for NO other reason than for our children!!! Thank you all so much for your input it helps so much to relook at this situation from different points of view! bcmom.
I agree with JHB. I can see both sides of the coin and everyone should keep in mind that there are always two sides of the story. I'll bet the other side would also sound pretty sympathetic.
Before rushing to anger or hurt feelings, remember that we exist for the school, not the other way around. You yourself wrote that the teachers were 'asking' for the money, not demanding it. Your group said no. You got a bite taken out of your hide because the group voted no. I hate to put it this way, but big deal (I don't mean that like it sounds...lol... I just mean that as an officer it kind of goes with the territory...that doesn't sound right either... well I know what I mean...lol...). What can they do to you? Fire you?...lol... I just know that just because PTO's shouldn't be Yes-Men wilth checkbooks, that there are going to be times where the group decision is going to bite you in the butt. The same holds true when the praise is being doled out though. The teachers can't thank every parent, so they usually send a Thank You note, but it is the officers who actually hear a vocal Thank You. I hope you understand what I'm saying 'cause it sure isn't coming out on here like it is going 'round in my head...lol...
This will work itself out. You have lots of great advice on this thread. Remember, you get more flies with honey than with vinegar.
I need to understand one more piece of the puzzle. Is the "Fun Day" to take place during the hours of the normal school day? If so, I think we need to step back and trust the professionals to use this time in the way that is deemed most educationally productive.
Having said that, I totally agree they acted in an unprofessional and highly unethical manner. I hope you guys can reach out to each other and find a common ground to work from. And it seems to me it is your money and they cannot demand it.
If your PTO is under the school's umbrella it seems as though the teachers have a legal leg to stand on, as incredibly self-defeating and short-sighted of them it is to have behaved this way. It sounds as though in the past everyone voted upon a year-end "fun day;" why would the teachers suddenly "forget" this, and "forget" where the money is coming from? It almost seems as though maybe they feel the PTO is garnerning too much power, and they feel a need to assert themselves? I'm curious as to who dished out the reprimands?
I would definitely call a meeting with the staff (including the principal),the PTO board AND a third party mediator. In the interest of trying to keep things "open" you could invite the rest of the parents, but deny them floor time. In the end if people air their feelings and clear up any misunderstandings, something like this is a tempest in a teapot. Left to to fester with resentments like "who-do-they-think-they-are s?", and, "who-do- they-think-WE-are s?" it could turn even more unpleasant. I think a good starter might be,"Uh, what happened here, and how do we avoid this again in the future?"
