Hello,
I have found myself in the same situation, and it does take time. I have posted other messages under "Wave Maker" that you might find helpful. Two years ago the entire PTO board at our school quit. They did not come back, and they did not leave one piece of paper as a guideline for the upcoming PTO board members. No by-laws, nothing. They were facing the same type of principal. They wanted to teach her a lesson in appreciating what she had with the parent volunteers. I felt that the lesson needed to be taught, but not at the expense of the teachers and children. So, I was one of the people that took charge of the board this year. There was 10 of us at the beginning of the year, and by the end the principal chased off all but three of us. The three of us were determined. It is my belief that I pay taxes and I pay that principal's salary, so she works for me. I am not a trouble maker, but when it comes to my children I will defend them in every sense of the word. I really believe that sticking in there and fighting (which it was a fight) is in the best interest of the school, therefore in the best interest of my child. When I say "fighting", remember to be adults. You can have disagreements and discusions, but do not let it get ugly. You loose all credibility when that happens. The three determined members that were left on our board last year wanted to leave a mark for next years board. We made sure that we had a completed by-laws, we put some new fund raisers in place, were able to get a few of the school fund raisers out of the principals spending hands (school store, pictures, etc), put out a parent/teacher survey, elected a new board for the upcoming year (where I was voted in as president), and arranged for meetings. We did all of this with her resisting tooth and nail. What is the worst thing that is going to happen? Will she be able to kick you off the board? Not likely. You have a lot of support from others that want to challange the system, but do not have the courage to do so. The lack of courage might come from the way they believe their children might be treated. Since I was in the school almost everyday this year as a volunteer or sub. teacher, I spoke with teachers about that fear. They told me that they are the ones that will be with my children, and they are not going to treat them any different. They also told me that the only time the principal would have anything to do with the kids one on one is if there is a discipline problem. There never has been, and if there ever was I better be called. This year as president, I have big plans to get the parents involved. John Hopkins University did a 10 year study on community involvement with every child's education. This study proved the improvement in GPAs because of the community involvement. I am using this study as my grounds for the involvement this year. The principal has said the same words to me, "if you want to beat your head against the wall, go ahead". The fact is that I've spoken with the parents in my school. They feel unwelcomed to volunteer and get involved. They felt that in past years you had to part of the "in group" in order to volunteer, and they felt that the principal was too involved with every decision. That she has too much "say so", and that she was going to do what she wanted no matter what. That was true, but this year we have 10 strong people that will not take that from her. They will not allow themselves or their children to be steam rolled. The best advice I have is to search your heart. Make sure your decisions are in the best interest of the school and that none of them have your own agenda in mind. Make sure you go in with the understanding that not every idea is going to be excepted, and do not let that discourage you from the next idea. Have a treasurer in your group (we will have one this year for the first time). Make sure that person is not "mousey". She will need to not be afraid to ask for the records, and almost demand (in a nice way) to see those records. She will need to be able to help the school book keeper. Little by little responsibilities will shift your way. But, be careful what you wish for. You might find it all coming your way. Make sure you have the people and by-laws in place to handle whatever comes your way. Look through this website to find by-laws. Edit them, put in what works at your school, take out what does not, present it to the board and principal for approvement, edit again according to what others have to say and what has been voted on, and then go from there. You will have something in writing that the principal has agreed to. Make sure to give a deadline for returning the by-laws. After that deadline the by-laws stand as they are. One last thing to remember, everyone has a boss. It is your right to go through the chain of command. If you have given a serious effort with your principal and have gotten no where, go over her head. I hope this helps and sorry it is so long.