thanks for all of the great advice. I was wondering if anyone went through this situation with a person that will serve on the Board with them next year? I am the PTO president, and the person in question is the vice president. She has avoided me in the halls, and by email. I have spoken with other board members about next year, luckily we have all new except three of us, some how they knew of the problem. I did not tell them. I'm very much a professional person, I think personal problems have no place at an elementary school. Leave those at home. However, the person in question is determined to go to everyone she can to bad mouth me. The new people are feeling really scared about coming out next year. Which is the complete opposite of what I wanted as my PTO serving goal. We have a school where the parents are not welcomed, and they feel shut out. My goal this year is to make "Partners in Education" between the students, teachers, parents, and community. A place where everyone feels welcomed to walk through the doors with any question, comment, complaint, etc.. In the past the PTO was thought to be a clique. I want to change that. It is real hard to do so with someone underminding you. I had another person come to me yesterday and state that they would not sit on a board with "hen pecking" woman. I assured her that I will not take part in the "hen Pecking" and that I had plans to make the board meetings fun for everyone involved to make sure we have top of the line performance from a happy group. I feel that the person in question is just "begging" me to say something more to her. I told her in my email to her that I thought things were getting personal which was not in the best interest of the school and that I refuse to comment any further. That was not good enough for her. It feels really high school to me, and I just wonder if she is trying to push me out so she can take the president seat again. I really am not one to turn and run, so she has selected the wrong person for that. Any other suggestions?
Oh Boy! This sounds to close to home.
What i did in the past was lay low and i let the board know that i was aware of a letter sent to them and if they had any question they could come to me and i wuould answer any question. The letter that the expres sent was not very nice and said a lot of not true statements. I let it pass and i did have a few teacher give me the cold shoulder but after they saw what i was doing for the school was positive the loosen up. What happen was that the princepal called a meeting and the expres and board talked and it came out that the ex pres ended up looking worse.It was hard but i just let it run its coures and i didn't have to really do much to show that iwas there for the kids and the school and she was there for the contro
good luck.
I want to add to KC....Consider lettign the principal know that you will handle this and you are sorry he/she was "drug" into a matter you want to resolve yourself.
I like the high road too. It also makes you look good with the kids, they see Mom working it out with another adult and they have hope they can resolve their issues the same way...hey, when a five year old apologizes to a three year old something is working here!
<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>I really think it discredited me, and I'm not sure how to get that credit back. Any suggestions? <hr></blockquote>
I've said it before, and (barring Tim blocking my posting priviledges) I'll be saying it in the future:
In the long run, you will never regret taking the high road.
In the last six weeks of my term as president, I could have felt the same way. The principal was holding meetings with the new officers, making plans for next year, reviewing the calendar, discussing changes they wanted to make. My co-president and I were not invited to any of those meetings. Had I wanted to feel threatened, I certainly could have been. But I knew that those meetings were about the next year, and I knew that I wouldn't even be at the school next the next year.
Did I have insights to offer? Did I have opinions about some things that should be changed, and some things that shouldn't? Sure I did. My co-president and I had a great lunch with the new co-presidents to discuss those things.
When we met, they already knew how they felt about the things the principal wanted to change. And they already knew how the principal felt about the things they wanted to change. Certain issues were off the table -- either they were or weren't going to happen, regardless of how we felt about it. We focused our energy on the things that were still under advisement.
And the whole thing worked because neither my co-president or I felt threatened by the our successors having already started work on their term. But that doesn't mean your predecessor doesn't feel threatened.
Consider sending her another e-mail. Consider telling her that you are sorry if your planning for next year makes her feel as if you are trying to take over early. Assure her that it is not your intention to do so. And then ask her to help you with a smooth transition by asking her to share the insights and knowledge she has gained during her term.
You and I are in VERY similar coincidences!! You might want to check out my post NEED HELP WITH RUDE PTO PRES. Several people have replied and their advice help you also. Unfortunately mine did not really have a happy ending.
Your situation seems better. If I were you, the more you say the more attention is brought to the situation. I would remain quiet. Your reputation might be lightly tarnished now, but after you assume your pres. position show them all by wowing them with you wonderful ideas and attitude!! It won't take long till everyonw will talking about all the positive things you have done!! GOOD LUCK!
Please feel free to email me if you need someone to vent to. I've been there!!!!
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What do you do when there has been a situation between you (next year's president) and this year's current president? We had all new board members this year, and by the end only three were showing up for the meetings. I was a lower Board member, but because I was the only one there besides the president and the secretary I took over a lot of other duties without complaint. Because of doing so, my peers elected me to the president spot for next year. The current president allowed me a lot of liberties through out the year, but has slammed that door here at the end. She emailed me a very rude email about letting her finish her term before I started mine. This email was sent, "as a courtesy", to all of the other Board Members including the Principal. I simply sent "her" an email back letting her know that I thought she was getting personal and that was not in the best interest of the kids or school. I also let her know that I refuse to comment any further on the subject. It feels really "high school" to me, and I'm not sure if I should do anything else to let the others (specificly the Principal) know that I am not a part of a dispute. That is one that the current president is having with herself. I really think it discredited me, and I'm not sure how to get that credit back. Any suggestions?
