It never ceases to amaze me that when we put it in terms of "what would we tell our kids to do" it all makes sense. That's who it's all for, after all, the kids. mykids - great advice! (And love the gum idea, too!)
Last year I had a VP that decided to "show-up" to help out at a couple meetings and decided after I had my baby that I needed a break but had NO clue what was going on.
I was understanding to her health problems and understood when I had to serve lunch to 100 staff members on my own. I will agree and can sympathize that it was REALLY hard when she came to me at the hospital (yes this really happened) and said "I can take care of the next two months for you." I needed her the first six!!
This is what I ended up doing. First I bought some gum, to keep me from saying what I REALLY was thinking; sit down with the co-prez and show her what you have accomplished; listen to her (this can be the hardest part and where the gum came in real handy [img]smile.gif[/img] ). You can do this and to save your working friendship, it's a good move.
When your kids are playing a game and another child arrives don't we ask them to let the new kid join in and listen to their ideas? Doesn't it make sense to follow our own advise here?
1. Take it to a vote as to whether or not the PTO Body wants to continue with two presidents.
2. Be understanding of her family problems. It is easy to say 'she did this of her own choice' and 'bad decisions on her part', but a lot harder to walk a mile in her shoes. She wants to help. I've never known a group who wasn't jonesing for extra help from interested parents.
I know that my first inclination would be to take over like you have done. It would really get me going if someone tried to step in, or step back in as the case may be. Thing is, you have to ask yourself, am I doing this for me or for the kids? If you are in it for the kids, I'm sure you can put your own feelings aside and let the gal help.
Would I let her step back in as an equal? I would hope so, but I doubt it. I hope you are a better man than I.
This year I was elected co-president of our PTO. The other co-president had some major family issues in the fall due to some poor choices made on her part. She basically did nothing for PTO and made no inquiries about it from the end of October until February 3- all by her choice. It was never a stated leave of absense- she just chose not to particpate in anything. She called me the night before the PTO meeting this week announcing that she is ready to help again. Meanwhile, I have become used to functioning as the sole-president of our organization and have everything balanced and under control. It's not that I don't want her to become involved again to some extent, but she wants to hop right back in and be president again and I really don't want to disturb the balance I have created!!! It has been a very hectic 3 months and everything is finally under control. She is critical of some of the decisions we made in her "absense" and is referring to us as a "we" again where I can only see me as an "I" at this point. Any advice?
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