Hey folks -

I'm going to close this topic.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Scooby. I'm sure losing a baby is extremely difficult and painful.

I hope that you can take time to heal and take care of yourself and your family. I think we can all agree that -- even though this PTO stuff can seem so important and all-encompassing at times -- it's never so important that your personal health and happiness -- or that of your family --should be sacrificed.

God Bless -

Tim

I am very sorry to have upset you with my opinion...but this is the forum to voice opinions. I do understand where you are coming from on both issues...PTO and personal, I lost two children to miscarriage during the turmoil of our PTO situation and it really is hard. I was not calling you names either...I was trying to make a point about the way other people can view your comments. Obviously your group needs to take control of their PTO...but no one can be forced to vote a certain way and believe me when the parents hate what a PTO president is doing they will boot them out regardless of what manipulative things are tried. At least in our organization the board does not rule the membership does. If the majority of your group is happy with how things are then things will stay the same...if they are not they need to come to the meetings and yes there are a thousand reason why people can't come, and change it...that is what we had to do and things are working out. No special consideration should be given to people who cannot come at the appointed time to vote...if people really want a candidate to be voted in they will be there. Like I said before I do feel for you, but I think you need time to heal.

A friend of mine told me about your post. I am sorry you feel I am being childish or dramatic. I, believe it or not am taking the high road. No I will not be involved in our PTO anymore, but that is because I basically am not allowed to be. Unless you are on the board or are the past president, you really don't matter to them. I have brought many a suggestion from parents to meetings just to get shot down because the past president thinks everything should be done like it has been done for years. So new suggestions are not welcome. That is why there are so many parents who don't come to meetings. They make it clear that they don't care what the parents have to say. That is partly why we did have such a bad turn out for elections. No one cares about the PTO anymore. Why shouldn't I be one of them?? I will still be involved in my childrens classrooms and with the teachers. But I won't lift a finger to help people who go out of their way to hurt and manipulate people. Believe me, Chrystal, there is no way to damage our PTO's image any more than it already has been. No one cares about our PTO. I used to, but now I understand completly parents lack of enthusiasm. I stupidly thought that I could change all of that and run an honest PTO. I was trying to turn the PTO's image around, since you seem to be so concerned about it. But after the behavior of these people during the election, I think it is impossible. The reason I was saying good-bye is because of the fact that I will no longer be involved in the PTO and don't have a reason to be here. You all have wonderful ideas. Not only do I think they shouldn't have them, but all of the ones I have brought to them have been shot down so what is the point? You can call me all the names in the world, Chrystal, but that does not bother me. I know that everything I have done has been honest and in the best interest in the PTO and the children. No, I haven't and I never will give up on the children. I may have lost a baby that will never be born and the elections in the last week, but I will be darned if I will lose my self-confidence and dignity over something so childish.
P.S. Metzymom-We don't have a tax ID number, EIN, or anything. They have never as far as I know, filed a tax return. We have never filed for tax-exept status either. We made almost $40,000 last year. But that is their problem now. Actually, my father-in-law is a CPA for the IRS, I should make it their problem!! LOL (Just kidding, Chrystal!!)

[ 05-06-2002: Message edited by: Scooby Doo ]</p>

After reading through all the posts on this matter I can sympathize with the original poster. I was in a similar situation before I became President. Our former Prez stacked the voters allowing each family that came two votes (husband and wife) even though none of the husbands had ever been to a meeting and even having neighbors join the PTO the night of the meeting and they did not even have kids at the school anymore and allowing absentee votes for her friends that could not come. I refused to behave like a silly middle school kid running for class president so I sat back and watched as this woman made an butt out of herself to win this election and yes she did win it by a narrow margin.

I took a step back from the PTO the following year and got to watch as the members finally started to use their voices and take back their PTO from a person who dominated them for three years. They made by-law changes to ensure elections were held fairly and so many other positive changes occured. I did attend most of the meetings and did not bash her or cause any fuss because she was hanging her self when she lost control if the parents rejected her ideas.

It is a difficult situation because your pride is involved but what must be understood is that this is not the end of your PTO...the children will not be harmed if someone does something different or "wrong" in your opinion. The desperate announcements of "what's best for the children" does not really apply to the PTO...school board yes...PTO...no. The PTO is there to enhance and do fun things for the kids it does not have the power to harm or make them have a terrible year.

In my somewhat knowledgable opinion this election needs to be let go, and it does sound as if you need to take a break...remember we are all volunteers, this is not our job and should not be treated as if all depends on it. There are hundreds of other ways to be active in your childs life through sports, scouts or by just being their mom.

Please don't take offense to this because remember I have been where you are right now, but you have to stop with the drama...the dramatic sign offs of it was nice knowing you...goodbye are childish and does not serve to better you position. I truly hope you can move on without further damaging your PTO's image...because even though I agree with you 100% that the election was a sham....you will be the one tarnishing the image of your group the longer you carry this out...and is it worth turning potential PTO'ers off because they don't want to be involved with a group that behaves this way?

Scooby Doo, I've read through this entire post several times and all I've seen is much needed venting and lots of support for you. Every poster has hated your situation and supplied ideas as much as they could, but what can we do? If none of the ideas you have about this AND none of the other posters' ideas work then you will have to walk away from this battle...scarred and tired, but knowing you tried. Ann Landers just had an article today about letting go and she had a great quote. "Resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head." I know the wound is still fresh now, but I do hope you can move on and find a spot in that school where your work will shine. Don't let this diminish your wonderful work! [img]smile.gif[/img]

How can I just simply "move on" when I know that someone deliberately went behind my back and caused this to happen? It is not that easy. I AM in this for the kids and that is the reason I am fighting this. I have watched this woman take advantage of that fact. We have had at least 6 fundraisers yet we supposedly have no money to pay for things the kids need. Even with 11,000 in the bank. None of our events have had half the turnout of what they did in previous years. She is rude to the parents, tells them "Don't volunteer if you don't want to work hard" and she sits on her butt watching them. It would be a nice thought for me and my friends to come to the meetings, but, our meetings are run by the past president from three years ago and the woman loves to make people she doesn't like extremely uncomfortable. We never vote on anything at the meetings anyhow. We used to have people come to our meetings, but with her and the past president's attitudes, it has been cut down to the president, treasurer, me, the pricipal, teacher rep and the past president. The vice-president is frustrated with this and doesn't even bother to come to the meetings anymore. We have never had voting at the meetings and the parents and teachers weren't informed until last minute. Most just assumed voting would be the way it has been the last 10 or so years. I just feel they shouldn't have just changed it last minute. Maybe if this had been decided at the beginning of year when it was supposed to have been, there would not have been so much confusion. If anything had been done according to the by-laws, I don't think I would have a problem. What good are the by-laws when they are not followed? We have absolutely nothing in our by-laws about voting. We have much about election and nominating committees. But it was not followed. We also have much about the jobs of the officers but I was not allowed to do anything except the minutes. I would make the newsletter, agenda, notes to go home and she would go "Oh I made my own, I think we will go with this one". That was because I was never given information. The past president, president and treasurer would sit in the office every morning and make decisions. Which explains why there is generally no voting at any of the meetings. I personally could not be there every single morning. And when I could, had no say in anything anyhow. Whatever the past president tells her to do is what she does so it doesn't matter what the parents want or the children need. I had no idea what I was going to find when I walked in that night. I certainly did not expect to find the past president sitting at the table. I certainly expected to find some privacy to vote, but there was none. I understand where you guys are coming from, but you need to see my side of this. Parents have been voting from home for over 10 years. You can't just go and change it right before the meeting. The reminders were sent home that day! I did not even get mine until I was going through my son's back-pack when he was going to bed at 9. What if I was not involved in the PTO? I would not have known. You know you guys used to be my support. Maybe you are right I should just hang it up and let this woman continue to take advantage of the kids. It was nice knowing you all......Good-Bye