I see your problem from both sides. As a PTO member who is kept out of the loop (our PTO president holds things closely to her)of information it is really frustrating. I have no idea what goes on half the time as she is not a good communicator. On the other hand I am involved in another PTO where the communication is great. We have an email system that works wonders. Everyone has everyone's email and information is sent out on a daily basis. It may change and be sent out on a weekly or monthly basis once things calm down, however we all know exactly what is going on with everything the PTO is involved in. Can I suggest you tackle it from a communication point of view.
Tell these guys that you have been really busy helping the school during those first hectic weeks of school and apologize for not communicating as well as you might have. Set up an email tree or trail where you spend a few minutes a day or week letting folks know what has been going on. Ask for feedback and suggestions. If they complain after that it is their problem because they haven't enacted on the email.
It can be hard to be the "better person" when dealing with folks emotions. We also find the communication emails are a great support during tough times.
Chin up! I know exactly where you are coming from. Last year I was elected Co-president of our PTO. The old guard had stepped down because people felt they were preventing new members from joining. SOunds great but when they left a large void was present that needed to be filled. I tried to do it all!!! I worked so hard that summer to make the PTO world okay. When the first meeting came my co-presidentand secretary were sick and my treasurer was late. I tried to run the meeting efficiently but without backup I stumbled. A fellow parent felt it necessary to scream at me across the table in front of the entire parent group. One that included 10 new Kindergarten moms. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
Needless to say I lost it right after the meeting.
Now to your letter. Keep trying. I am in the process of developing a mission statement that will define what we as a PTO are working towards. We already have a committee overview in our policy and procedure protocol. As to the governing board we have an executive committee meeting in August with the principal (again whenever necessary) that includes presidents, treasurer and secretary. We examine the previous year and where we are going. That way everyone is on the same page and it is not coming from you. We also found it necessary to have the principal present at the meetings for crowd control. Most parents will not speak out with the principal present. She also does a spot called the principal's report..parent involvement. The brothers will be difficult.
Stand your ground. Also the article in PTO today/Aug issue/ pg.52 is excellent! I read the last three paragraphs at our PTO meeting and a hush fell over everyone..because "bottom line it's for the children".
You will find resentment because you are an involved mom ....stay at home?
I am the New PTO president at a 3 year old school, this is the PTO's first year. It has been a rocky start since we were elected in May of last year. I have put time and energy into gathering information and creating helpful information packets. I have also volunteered to help the teachers get their rooms in order for the Open House. Our first PTO Exec meeting was crazy, but a few things were accomplished. We have not met since then. This morning I was asked to come to school early to speak with the VP and Treasurer. When I got there I was ambushed with hostile questions such as "We feel we are out of the loop" and "Why didn't I get a special memo" Since this year started we have not had a chance to formally set up bi-laws, procedures or anything. Both members are fathers and are very jealous that I am at the school during the day at least twice a week. I tried to explain that there is no loop and that things have been very crazy with school since the WTC incident. The principal, staff, and teachers realize the things that I have been able to accomplish with little help and little time(I am a mother of 4 and my oldest is 6).Both men(brothers) are threatening a re-election. I feel confident that the parents that attended the PTO general meeting and the staff will once again vote me in.(Though I don't know if I would accept nomination at this point.) I feel this because there are more thank yous and good wishes than there are complaints. I really want to resolve this without arguments. I think the main solution is to hold a meeting and put bi-laws and procedures in writing. I just feel as though this attack will begin this year on a boys against girls basis. Any ideas what I can do to make them feel that they are not being shadowed simply because they are working fathers and that the information a receive is because I am there during the day and not because I am PTO president. They have even blamed me for finding out about QSP's ellison scholarship and helping the principal to complete this event. We earned $1400 toward equipment. They were mad that the decision to hold this "fundraiser" (no money involved) was made by the principal instead of the PTO Exec Board. The Principal has every right to send home what ever information she sees fit to, she does not have to go to us for everything. Because I was the one who passed on the information and helped her count books, I was the bad guy.
I am sorry I took so long, but I did need to explain this so that you can help me get this group back into a team. Any ideas or criticisms would be helpful. Delene
