I actually left a school because of the PTO chair. She made her job bigger than it was.
She actually tried to "call me out" in front of other parents at school event! Yelling out, "What is this? Please explain? Why is this here? Who had this?", flinging her hands and paperwork everywhere as she destroyed a perfectly organized area for a fundraiser we were, I was, doing.
I slowly found out through so many phone calls from "How are you?" to "How do you do this/that?" She needed help to be chair with ideas, wording letters & such (she is one slow sister). She got so much from me that I should have been president, instead of a room parent. She even tried to get me to have a teacher aide reprimanded because she couldn't get her way, and the aide was correct in her actions. It killed her that the aide and I were so honestly nice to each other. (The aide never knew, things would have gotten worse!)
I found that with many of these "Moms", they have issues at home and they need to have an authority somewhere and they seek that control at the school, especially if the other parents are not as strong in the PTO/parent involvement. This allows them room to destroy. Moreso, if they are employees of the school and have authority over your kids and access to your records!!!
Does this person have a co-chair? If not maybe you could find someone who understands the situation who would be willing to take up the slack. I am the President of our PTO and my philosophy from the start has been that if someone chairs a function then it is their responsibility...even if they screw up. I have had to come right out and ask chairpeople..."Look so and so isn't getting done is there a problem, would you like me to find someone to help you out or do you think you can have it done by the specified date?" I know it is hard to confront a volunteer but I honestly feel if someone steps up to chair a function they should try to give it their all of ask for help.
Without going into details, what do you do if you have a chairperson who isn't doing their job? I have tried talking to this person to no avail. I am constantly having to go behind this person and cover her tail,because she isn't doing what she needs to do. I am in a quandry. Any suggestions?