It sounds like it's time to have a conversation of concern with the President regarding her forgetfulness.

If she's of a "certain age", the forgetfulness could be attributed to her going through "the change" or some other medically based reason. In which case, she'll need medical assistance.

Or, perhaps she's completely disorganized in general, so your suggestion that she utilize a day-timer and a filing system is in order. At the same time, you can explain to her that you simply can't continue managing her PTO schedule as well as your own and that it's disheartening that she doesn't seem to know what's going on and when.

If the forgetfulness stems from her not prioritizing the PTO as she should, it's time she's called on why not.

With regard to the no-show VP, do your by-laws contain an attendence requirement? If not, the President/board still needs to address the absences and either strongly encourage attendence or seek a replacement VP.

Regarding the nosey-nellie, as the previous poster replied -- anyone can ask questions. Board activities need to be as transparent to the general members (parents) as possible. At the same time, there are proper channels to be followed. So, she should be told that she may have a copy of the financials only after the board has reviewed and approved the expense report each month/quarter, etc.

Also, any concerns she has need to be addressed to the president as you've already told her. Should she attempt to disrupt a board meeting with her questions/complaints, she can be ruled out of order provided that the board is working off of an agenda. The motion to use is a privileged one (A call for "Orders of the Day") which requires the board to follow the agenda -- there's no debating such a motion.

WOW! Sounds kaotic to say the least! First I have to ask do you have Bylaws? If so is there a description of the President's responsibilities? Maybe your new President should read them. Are the other board members aware of what is going on? Sounds like you should maybe have a board meeting and discuss the issues. As far as the former board member asking questions, anyone can ask, what the board is doing should not be a secret, at the same time if she is just being a pain for the sake of being a pain then maybe you should suggest she run for office during your next election and leave it at that.

Just a suggestion, our secretary prepares our agenda and sends out a reminder for all meetings, maybe you could try that.

I have been on the PTO board for the past 3 years. This year the Vice-President of 5 years became the President. She seems confused about the role of the president, in the past the president would put out the reminder and agenda for the general meeting, this new president had no clue. She writes many notes about upcoming meetings and events, then loses the notes and forgets to attend events and meetings. I find myself enabling her, I call to reminder her of meeting. Every event we have had I called her the night before to ask if she will be attending and I always get the same response, "now what day and time is that event".
To make matters worse we have an ex-board member who wants to control the PTO, she calls the bookkeeper to find out how much money the PTO has. She is constantly trying to make decisions that she has no business making. In the past this ex-board member did everything on her own and never worked with the board. We would find out after the fact that she had spent board money to buy special treats and gifts. She keeps coming to me to tell me what the board should do. I finally told her to call the president, because the board has decieded to vote on all decisions.
Now I have the do nothing President complaining to me about the ex-board member and the ex-board member doing the same about the president.
Should I mention the new vice-president who is mostly a no show to meetings and events.
I love helping out at the school and I hate to quit.
What's a girl to do?